Zweite Liebe
by mamabot
Summary: (with permission but absolutely NOT cannon) Night-Stalker13's AU tragedy strikes two couples. Their lovers had been close friends right to the end. Now the survivors lean on each other to get through this. What they find is so much more than a friendship,a second chance at love, Karmashock x Cole belong to Night-Stalker13. Megatron x Shockwave, Cole x Shockwave. (yes reposted)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **b NOT/b cannon to :devNight-stalker13: 's AU. Karmashock, Cole, Puncture his OC's. Wolfgang, Victrola I named for Cole's parents. Shockwave & Megatron Hasbro's. Bookcover made by the AU holder Night-Stalker13. This has been posted with his consent.

**S&C 1**

It's been well over a lunar cycle, but the pain has not subsided, not that he really expected it to. Who was he kidding! Still he needed someone to talk to. There's not too many in his circle of friends who could truly understand, but he knows there is one who has to be aching worse than he. It's probably about time he went to check on him. He hasn't seen or spoken to the other since the funeral. It's time.

~~88~~

Shockwave is not relaxed but is sitting on his couch watching the news as the political banter still is being hashed and badgered over. As much as his logical side wants to hear this and this new government's handling of the difficult proposition, his spark is screaming at him to turn it off and look away. He must pay attention to this new government that he and his mate helped to establish by overturning the last regime that just let corruption run amuck and ignore the desperately ill and poor. The former Ever Loyal Commander just wants to make sure they are not taking this lightly or fucking it up. Too many died to let it happen all over again!

Still, his broken spark is telling him to look away and leave it in peace rather than rehashing this again and AGAIN. He might be a masochist, but this is going too far.

Instead, he listens to the news while turning his head to the silver box sitting on the shrouded and forever-silent piano with a ratty photo leaning against it. Resting on top of the simple plain box is a small envelope still unopened. He knows what it contains, just can't bear to open it yet.

Muting the commercial, he still almost didn't hear the soft knock to the front door. He's in no mood to see anyone and can't remember the last time he opened that door. He didn't even attend the memorial service the brotherhood of miners held for one of their own taken down in a heroic but tragic moment. Someone had just left a box on his door step containing the deceased's locker contents. The lone picture of a young pre-war Shockwave that hung in the locker and was kissed before each mission now rests against the sliver urn on the alter.

The guest knocks again. "Shockwave, it's me Cole. Can I talk to you? Please? I… need…."

Shockwave can hear the embarrassed plea in the normally calm voice. This lone bot he could handle for their tragedy is not their's alone, but their's together. Rising slowly taking his hard drink with him, his memory replays along with the images on the TV screen of a silver tanked-mech face down on the carpeted hall, tracks upon his back torn apart by bullets. The images zoom in on a lone light blue motor bike's leg sticking out from under the larger prone form. Vital oil and fluids pool around the two dead bodies that medics could not get to or even had a chance to save.

Silently the living purple mech opens his door, but doesn't verbally greet his mate's best friend's partner. Instead, he turns aside and makes his way to the kitchen. Cole is the one to shut the door behind him and follow the other into the kitchen. Shockwave pulls down a another glass and hands it over making his way back to the couch and sinking down.

Flicking the remote to a new station, this one is discussing the debate before the governing officials too. After that is over, he flips again. After the third, Cole puts his hand over the remote.

"Shockwave….this isn't…"

Shockwave only stares at him daring him to tell him what to do within his own home of mourning. Cole knows better than that and lets the hand go. Shockwave refills his drink and takes it swift and hard grimacing as it burns it's way down. His mate had been an addict of this stuff before those needs and cravings were turned over to a new drug: him. More directly: them.

The helio-medic rises taking his glass with him as he comes to the covered piano. He doesn't touch, but he does point, "What's in the envelope? I didn't know Megatron had any implants."

For the first time in what seems like eons (and it shows in the crackling sound from the throat) Shockwave speaks, "My ring."

Cole furrows his brow. Clearly he can see the silver engraved one on the lilac hand, so it can't be that one. "I don't understand."

Shockwave's patience is not what it used to be, and slams the half filled glass to the table as he rises. In long but few strides he is at the alter. Picking up the envelope, swiftly breaks the seal with a finger tip. From there, he takes a deep breath and lets the violet titanium piercing-ring slide into his palm. Cole instantly pales remembering Karma had said something about the piercing. His spark lurches, this isn't just any piercing ring though, for he's never seen one in the color of the mech beside him. Just as the mark on the hand means something personal and significant, so does-did this simple looking piece of colored metal.

Shockwave sinks to the piano stool finally having done it and now has it in his hands once again.

"I'm sorry-"

"Please don't, because then I will have to say it to you. You may need to hear it, but I don't." he punches the volume back on to the TV.

"I'm sick of hearing it myself! I'm sick of hearing it was his fault for dealing with mentally ill bots and asked what is my stand on all this!" Cole huffs back flicking a hand to the TV news report to the political debate.

Shockwave looks up to Cole. Yes the mech is angry and aching. They may not have been bonded, but it makes his painful loss of Karmashock no less relevant either. Seeing that both of them are silently apologizing, Cole goes back to his drink and hands Shockwave his.

The seated mech looks into his drink trying to figure out if this was a good idea or not to start drinking. His left hand continues to twirl violet the ring back and forth between thumb and forefinger.

"How is your chest?" Cole motions to the violet one knowing a violently severed bond can hurt more than a regular break or separation on top of his issues from the miscarriage having done some damage to the spark chamber.

Shockwave shrugs lifting the numbing drink, "Just fine."

Cole almost sags seeing this is not the road for the other to start following, "Shockwave you shouldn't-"

"Don't session me, Cole. It's not your profession and I really don't care to hear about what damage I am doing to myself. I've walked this road with another, I know good and well what I am doing. So just move on; what do you want?"

Cole sinks into the couch being rebuke and saddened for bringing more pain to the other. "I miss him and I didn't really know where else to go to find someone who knew him a well as I if not better. You've known him longer than even I."

Shockwave has to nod to that too. In a way, he misses being able to talk to someone about Megatron who knew him on a personal level too. Here with Cole who knows what Karma had been to both Megatron and Shockwave, he knows his feelings are safe and trusted. "I miss him too. Karmashock was a good friend."

" 'There be no better friend than one who will lay down his life for thee.'" Cole quotes the old saying. "Megatron was the best friend Karmashock could ever have had. I'm sorry I ever doubted him." Shockwave lifts his helm to look at the deep regretful emerald ones.

Now the news replays the interview from one of the traumatized secretaries: _"I don't know what happened. All I know is that I heard Celia yell 'lock down' and I went to hit the signal to the other offices. I saw Dr. Karmashock in the lobby raise his hands and try to talk the mech into facing him and get the gun off the other doctor. It happened so fast! When he whirled, there was just this look on his face. It was frightening. And then that huge silver mech, he just…. Leapt as the gun came round to point at Dr. Karma. I-it happened so fast. All I saw was a silver blur wrap it's self around the little blue doctor as the popping sounds when off and I sank down under my desk. But through the crack, I could see that neither of them were moving from where they landed on the floor as the mech continued to shoot at them. I was afraid Dr. Karmashock had gotten crushed by the big miner but hoped his heavier armor could save the-them both." She has to stop and wipe her nose and optics._

_With a deep sigh, she continues: "After the police shot that other guy, I saw the medics come in. When they rolled the big one over, I could see one shot right into the fore helm of the silver mech and (she chokes) and Karma… oh Primus…" The femme starts to weep again as they show the file shot of the prone face down forms once more._

The narrator reminds the viewers that as per the family's request the hero silver mech's name has been withheld. Considering he gave his life to protect another, they felt it only right to honor it.

What they don't mention is that the Police Chief and the Prime had made it clear (as per Shockwave's firm request) if any news agency released Megatron's name, they would be facing some serious charges and fines.

The news flicks to the sports department and Cole turns off the TV set. He can't watch that interview one more time. He can't look at another image. He just….

"I want him back," Cole breathes painfully.

Letting the ring slip down over one finger, the other reaches up to caress his antenna, "I want him against me again."

"I need to hear his voice."

"I need to feel his touch."

"I loved it when he would lay his head in my lap as we read."

"I loved it when he would just hold me in the dawn of morning."

"He always blushed when I called him Babe."

"He said my voice was his comfort."

Shockwave stands up and turns to the box once more. It had only been he, Puncture, and a lone Priest to over see the last rites of the cremation. It seemed fitting to let fire be the one to release him, besides, there would be no grave to be desecrated. Watching the flames lick away the great mech, neither relative said anything to the other during the whole process. What could they say? One lost a mate the other lost his only son. Both had lost their future. One had just finally gained a second chance just to have a future yanked away. The other had finally gotten his spark's desire only to have a hopeful future snuffed out… and on Shockwave's mind goes and his spark roils.

He didn't hear the other move until he feels a gentle hand press into the small of his back.

Touch.

He hasn't had touch in a whole lunar cycle. He leans into his hands resting against the piano with a soft moan. Cole rubs his hand up the spine to support having no idea what he is doing to the other.

On the other hand, Shockwave has no idea that his soft sound and melting frame is doing something to the other.

"I miss the way he would let me be the one hold him even though he isn't one for abundant touch."

Shockwave swallows hard and chokes out, "I miss how much he would tell me he just needs to hold me against himself and nothing more."

Cole leans in and brings his arm around Shockwave's waist in a gentle loose hug. Shockwave lets him, leaning into the touch just a little bit more. One needs to give it, one needs to receive it.

After a few moments of silence, it comes to him that maybe this is just too much too soon and turns to step away from the alter he has made and back to the couch swooping up his drink in the process. Harshly he guzzles it down.

Cole nods understanding a bit, "Do you want me to leave?"

Shockwave shakes his head, "No, its fine. I think I probably need to talk. You?"

With a relieved whoosh of breath and a smile, Cole says, "You have no idea."

On and on the conversation flows and the drinks are refilled. By the end of the bottle, the two mechs are sitting closer to each other a light hand laid over a dark gauntlet resting on the couch back, knees tucked up to the seat facing each other. Neither is truly drunk, but most certainly relaxed and in no condition to fly home. Cole makes motion to the room upstairs, "I'm sure you have work to attend tomorrow, don't let me keep you from a proper rest."

Shockwave shakes his head, "I haven't been back to work yet. I didn't even go to the miner's memorial."

Cole gapes, "Shockwave…."

"I… can't. I just … I feel so lost. It was too soon for us." Ever the logical one has no sense of reason any more.

Cole scoots closer bringing his hand up to cup the falling helm, "Oh Shockwave…."

Likewise the soft side of Shockwave cups Cole's, "I'm so sorry for you too. You both were just staring…"

Thumbs gently stroke and caress cheeks that are dampening. Both of these proper elite mechs are finding a common ground of their own. They both know and understand the power wealth can wield and yet know that its not the source of happiness in life. No, that happiness can only come from what they lost. There is a bond here between these two mechs. There is a strength here between them as well.

Shockwave leans in, "He made me so angry when…."

"He just didn't understand when I…." Cole's revere responds back.

"I could never please him with…." Shockwave does not back away when Cole leans in as well during his next replayed memory.

"He just wouldn't let me…." Cole doesn't retreat from Shockwave's comfort with his next one.

At the end, Shockwave's hand is no longer on the cheek but has slipped round to the nape. Likewise, Cole's hand has slid up to caress a wilting antenna.

"You're not alone, Shockwave. I will not let you walk this road alone."

"Cole, I'm a grown mech, I don't need-"

"I think I need you," Cole breathes against that sensitive sensor of Shockwave's face.

He didn't mean to do it. He has no idea how it happened, but he found himself pulling the other closer until their lips are touching in a slow meeting. As tender and as raw their damaged sparks are, these lips are trying to massage and take away all pain and damage that one poor wretched soul stole from them both.

A whimper slips out and the kiss deepens. Cole leans into the larger one's lap but it's his hands that are cupping the more pained and aching one. Shockwave latches his arms around the other clasping and clinging to the sweet comfort this one is trying to share with him.

The tenderness is pushing into a harder need to comfort and surround. "Let me hold you tonight, Shockwave."

Shockwave nods craving more touch, "Logical: You shouldn't fly after all that high grade."

Instead of putting down his logical talk to hide his true feelings like Megatron might have, Cole uses the excuse, "Of course. Very wise suggestion." Another round of heated kisses has the lilac hands fondling helio-blades making him squirm against the other's tasset. "Primus Shockwave, that feels so good… higher, please," the slightly shorter one moans.

Instead, Shockwave's hands still and pulls back. His aching spark is racing. His optic is dark with want, but his spark is bleeding for whom he can't have. "Oh Primus, what am I doing?! I'm sorry Cole, I-I …."

His hands pull back and he covers his heated and shamed face only to find a pair of light hands wrap around those wrists and pull them down to uncover the face. "Shockwave… look at me."

The golden slit shows him peeking, so the red helm cants ever so slightly, "Hey, it's me too. They teach us that empathy can do this and to be careful." For that, he slides out of the violet lap to stand on his own. "I'll go now."

Shockwave covers his face and again and shakes his head, "No, please don't. Seriously you should not fly. I can't bear the though of losing you too. Please stay."

Cole takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly, "Alright. I'll take the guest room." And begins to step away. He's almost out of reach when he feels a hand wrap around the tip of a long hanging blade stalling him. Turning his helm ever so slightly, he watches the larger mech of exquisite grace and form rise. Even slightly inebriated, the mech is a sexy looking thing in his graceful moves.

"Primus you are gorgeous," Cole's hurrs out.

"Please don't ever say that again." Shockwave swallows down the sound of Megatron's voice in his helm reminding him how sexy he is. For a straight mech, he lusted after this body and the artist in him never let Shockwave forget what beautiful creature he is.

Cole can see that 'gorgeous' is a private word for him and just gives a soft nod to respect the plea. To his surprise, Shockwave steps closer to him and slips his hand into the other's, "We should not be alone tonight." With a leading step, he takes Cole into the guest room and pulls the berth's covers aside.

Cole reaches back and releases his blades. Shockwave tugs his heavy chest piece off revealing his toned broad chest and lithe belly. Both of them strip down their non-essentials. They both notice that each is precise in laying their armor in order and perfection. It brings a smile to each who's own partners were a bit more… relaxed when it comes to the placement of objects. Order is key to them both and it shows right now. Light chuckle comes out of each.

Cole lays himself down first leaving himself open to however Shockwave wants to lay. They both know that Shockwave was the submissive in his relationship, but he also is taller and larger than Cole. With an awkward exchange of expressions, Cole finally cups an antenna pulling it closer to his chest.

"Shh, just rest, Shockwave."

The violet and snowy arms easily wrap around the undressed form next to him. "You too, Cole."

It feels so good to have a trusted warm body against him again. He knows that all privacy will be kept right here. Nothing will be shared with another. Right here and right now is all that matters.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Cole."

"Thank you for letting me in, Shockwave." He bends to kiss the helm top.

Somewhere in the soft silence of the night when neither mewled body can sleep, lips graze across an antenna while another set of 'lips' press into a chest center. Hands pan and stroke a tone muscular form whilst another set caress the protective form of the other. Kisses become tastes and nibbles to be answered by whimpers and soft moans to continue.

This is not lust. This not sex. This is trusted desire to comfort and be comforted by another. This is a need to blur away what has been lost. This is a reminder that the other has not died but is very much alive. This is a need to forget for a moment and feel very much living.

Cole's kisses make their way down Shockwave's chest and to his flexible but taught belly. Cupping the lower spine, presses to make the belly arch into his plucking kisses. This larger form is so different than any lover he ever had before. Much more experienced and yet graceful in it's innocent movements.

Shockwave finds Cole's ministrations so different from the only lover he truly had. Megatron was a licker and a biter, these softer exploring lips and blunter tongue do different things to him. Does he miss the fangs, absolutely, but he can't focus on that when a trusted one is trying so hard to make him forget and needs to forget as well. Shockwave lets Cole play over his body even to go so far as to remove his final pieces of armor. Cole looks up to Shockwave for approval before he continues to lavish his attention lower in the private area.

Shockwave reaches down for the red and white thigh to give back what he is receiving. Cole only inches his way up to straddle the hips letting Shockwave release him as well. There Shockwave gives a deep inhale to see the vibrant hard red rocket fall heavily into his palm. The heart shaped head to the cable is soft and unique and so different from his mate's. No piercing ring like the one still around his finger. He closes off his optic and feels his breath hitching.

He needs this right now, but should he?

Cole knows the other is wrestling with his deep seated emotions and knows he shouldn't press but DAMN this mech before him is gorgeous and delicious for not just his optics but his lips as well. It's no wonder Megatron put all vices aside to make this his primary. The pleasures they could share and quash this joint pain for a few moments! Having been with the sexual beast of Megatron, Shockwave surly can handle things his last lover never could. But is that a curse or a blessing to his own spark?

His dear sweet Karma… his spark lurches as well. He will never see that shy face try to hide as his attentions rained down on his sexy trim form that he tried so hard to hide. Never again will he hear that sweet accent moan out his name in overload. Never will he cuddle that cute form in his arms…. He will never find another like his Karma.

Cole wasn't one who was frivolous in choosing his partners, but nor was he naive to the needs of his own body. As a medic who spent much time with a psychiatric professional, he knows good and well the roll physical and mental needs play with each other, but his own spark is refusing to listening to either. It's dying in need.

"D-do you want me to stop?" the question may have been directed to the one below but it was one he is asking of himself as well.

Shockwave painfully moans and shakes his head viciously in a 'no.' He wants this. He NEEDS this. Before another thought can cross his mind, Cole is kissing him passionately and fiercely letting his own naked form press the taller mech to the berth. Kissing away his own pain or Shockwave's it doesn't matter for Shockwave clamps one hand to the back of the knight's helmet demanding Cole to take his passion as well.

Shockwave grips a thigh tightly refusing to the let the other retreat and even pressing up into the other. He needs to feel again and this experience and unafraid form is more than willing to lavish his attentions on him. Shockwave suckles and savors each taste and touch.

Once more Cole makes his kisses and plucks down the harder form when Shockwave directs the protective mech into his sensitive throat and collar and then releases him to do as he pleases with his heated form. To Shockwave's loud moaning delight, Cole plays about his pert hard aft and ever so soft opening. "Oh PRIMUS Shockwave, you are delicious!"

He can let that one slide just to feel it again.

When Cole is sure he can't take it any more and Shockwave's body is more than prepared for the next moment, he brings his red cable into position. Just as the heart touches the sacred opening, a pained whine breaks from the blue spark. No, not a whine, a whimpering loud cry and he tugs his aft away from the offering. The body is willing, the soul is not.

Cole looks up, "Shockwave?"

"I-I-….can't," and turns his head away in shame. Cole has brought him so far and yet now he is denying the other. He feels awful, but he just… can't let him in.

Cole can even see a tear beginning to form. Pulling even further back so Shockwave doesn't have to worry about being pounced, Cole softly supports, "Shh, its okay. Tell me."

Shockwave won't look at him. "He's the only one. I saved myself for him knowing I would never get him… and then I did and…. I can't, Cole. He's the only one."

Cole's shoulder's slump. Poor Shockwave. He's only ever been in love with one. For himself, he's been in love a couple of times and understands loss and broken relationships. But now he understands a bit more of what Karma was telling him about the bondhood these two more than shared: lived. Shockwave bound himself to Megatron before they had ever made a joined commitment to each other. He's not just suffering a broken relationship, he's suffering a destroyed dream-come-true.

"Oh Shockwave…," he can not stop the pity from coming out. He cares for the being before him more than even HE ever thought possible. "Shhh, it's alright. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere. Shhh…"

Shockwave doesn't look at him but does softly whisper, "Just make me overload so I can be numb again. Fry my system until I can never feel a damn thing again." He tries to turn aside and curl up into a ball, but the smaller red one won't allow it. That does bring the pained optic to look up to the soft pools of green promising to fulfill the mission.

His own voice chokes, "Shockwave, please let me help you. I …need to do something. I …need to help someone or I'm going to implode. I need to hold onto something tangible who knows, understands, shares this sacred pain of mine."

"Oh Cole….," it's Shockwave's turn to pity the other.

Shockwave relaxes back into position to allow Cole to make love to him again. Cole is perplexed on what to do for the other and thus Shockwave reaches down to cup the softening red offering. With a gentle tug, Cole understands and follows Shockwave's guidance to lay the vibrant one with his pure sable one. The larger hand encompasses them both and makes them feel together.

"Oh PRIMUS Shockwave," Cole throws his head back feeling the experienced hand play over them both. The double rings make an incredible stimulation to the twin cables. Cole gulps down the knot of pain for what they stand for though. His body is crying for one reason while his spark is screaming for another. "Shockwave," his voice calls out needily once more.

To hear his name cried out in passion again, stirs his shattered blue spark. He may not ever love again, but he most certainly cares for this mech above him and knows the feelings are reciprocated. The honorable friend will never betray him, that he is sure of. Stronger and faster he strokes and primes them together to push their pain to the recesses of the night. Cole's knees begin to shake and he falls forward on all fours over the snowy-violet virile mech beneath him.

"Yes…." he hisses as Shockwave tightens down harder making the stimulants press in as well. Leaning even further in, he leans down and captures Shockwave's 'lips' making him moan and press up into the giving form once again. Even kissing, their breath is becoming hitched and erratic while Cole has his hips move in time helping Shockwave's hand.

Cole groans into Shockwave feeling himself peek and crest over breaking the kiss panting. To his surprise, Shockwave lets off the most spark rending scream he's ever heard. It must be the first overload he's had since… Cole sags.

Shockwave whimpers down his cry and his hand falls lax to the berth beside his turned helm. There his optic can see the silver and violet rings side by side wrapped around his tainted fingers. Cole looks to what Shockwave does: silver and violet bands. With a careful movement, he slips off the berth and gets a towel from the bathroom. Ever so carefully he wipes himself and then Shockwave's bellies. Still Shockwave doesn't say a word just rolling to his side to curl up pulling the bound hand to his chest. Cole sets the towel to the hamper and then slides into the berth behind Shockwave pulling the covering to blanket them together. He's just not sure what else to do now. He just doesn't know the mech like his mate did… or even beloved Karma knew him.

Shockwave reaches over and finds that saving hand of comfort and support, pulling it over his side and holding the hand between both of his. Nothing else needs to be said as his breathing becomes softer and slower and his body melts into the berth and comfort behind him.

Cole knows Shockwave is falling asleep thus just snuggles into him keeping him safe for tonight, holding onto a living precious piece of Karma's life. His own tear escapes for his spark can hear Karma begging him to look after Shockwave for both of the dead mechs…..

* * *

Before I start, this is NOT cannon to :devNight-Stalker13: 's universe. This started off as a dream I had. I shared it alone with Sabath for I thought it was too horrific to post. Then chapter two spawned and the conversations ensued and ideas flowed and merged and my/our imaginations could not stop.

**Wolfgang's name, Shockwave and Megatron's rings are a gifts to Night-Stalker's AU.***

Losing You by :devnight-stalker13: on da is required reading by anyone who reads this.  art/ Losing-You- 40688926


	2. Chapter 2

**S & C 2 **

The royal one slowly came round to the smaller warm body adjusting in his loose embrace. The knightly one slowly came round to the larger warm frame pressed to his back. One is not used to having something smaller before him, the other is not used to having a larger one behind him. So odd, but so comforting none the less.

The lilac hand pans out against the softer belly than he is not used to feeling. Up it slides to the tone, but not hard-scarred chest. It's not the body of a physical laborer, but it is warm, alive, and a trustworthy spark. A light soft hand covers his and brings it to his lips to give it a grateful morning kiss to which the snowy heavier chest gives a soft sigh against his back, "Cole…"

The white and crimson mech hitches hearing his name in an accented voice. Accented yes, but not his beloved Aussie one he is used to waking up to He pulls the marked hand tighter to his chest and just clutches the friend tighter. In his snuggling, his black rump accidentally wriggles against a dark 'morning glory' lighting that accent to moan again.

"Sorry, Shockwave," the knight tries to honorably move away but the elegant royal behind him moves a long limb trapping him.

"Please, don't move." He figured their comforting snuggle would make it just die down. He wasn't expecting the complete reversal of hot spooning to keep it alive. It feels so damn good to press up another for a change and those sweet soft cheeks up against hard-him is just too damn much. Its been so long and he is a mech of needs after all.

Cole has to admit, it's been a long time for him as well. Karma was not a dominate and preferred to feel Cole's lavished attention. Feeling this one behind him that could certainly understand him in ways his past partner could not, Cole curls his aft ever so slightly and mewls, "Please…"

Shockwave moans again. Oh Primus it would feel so damn good to get his cable sunk deep inside a body again. Megatron would allow him occasionally but Shockwave knew good and well he wasn't comfortable with it and would only do it to satisfy his love. But Cole, he could truly understand his needy desires.

He rolls his hips back just enough to let the mast flip down from between their belly-backs to slide between those softer cheeks than his mate. "Oh PRIMUS!" Shockwave hisses and slides himself between the folds getting them both ready.

Cole brings his upper leg to bend planting the pede flat to his other calf giving Shockwave more room to manipulate himself into position. Shockwave lifts his helm just enough to look down on the emerald jewels that are going heady in lust. The larger mech just can't help but smile seeing what he is doing to the other. A whisper slips out of those lips, "Yes… don't stop."

Shockwave leans over the shoulders to kiss his new partner and bring his larger headed cable into position of that tight aft opening. His lilac hand makes the white one slide down and take his own cable. The grip to the red one is as crushing as the opening is to the sable one. Cole hasn't accepted anyone in so long it is having a hard time taking in the larger cable.

Shockwave may no be as large as his mate was, but he is no mini bot either. Easily he over shadows his berth partner in size, muscular stature, darker sexual experience and leadership skills. He could easily be the dominate here, but having been the submissive for so long, it's not in his personality to just take. His hand leaves the other to fondle himself letting slightly darker fingers v on either side of the red rocket and slip under to the nearly sealed entrance. From there, he lets his thumb circle and play with the entrance.

"I won't hurt you, Cole. Both of us are already too damaged to do anything to each other."

Cole shakes his head, "I don't care. Just do it."

Shockwave leaves the entrance alone to grab the medic's chin and force him to his back staring down into those pleading optics. "No. That's not who I am. I do not take pleasure in that."

Cole is surprised by Shockwave's gentle but forceful movement and ever so supportive soft words. From there, Shockwave does prop his incredible lithe but hot form above the stripped flying hero. "I give pleasure."

With that, he lowers himself to press Cole to the berth and kiss him passionately. Cole's hands leave himself to wrap around Shockwave's strong back and exquisite waist. Shockwave curls his damn sexy hips into Cole in time to the hot hard kiss. The pulsing movements glisten the blunter black cable head as it begs entrance from the wetting aft between splayed red hips.

Cole whimpers in need curling a hand around that aft Megatron so loved to pound into. Shockwave grunts as he is being pressed into the hot form that used to comfort the psychiatrist late in the night.

"Fuck," Shockwave grunts as Cole's very tight body begins to accept him. "Primus Cole, I won't last long!"

"Nuh, Shockwave… Shit you are hard and big! Deeper!"

Shockwave pushes himself up and curls that seductive belly of his like a wicked snake. Cole himself presses up so he can watch that long cable slide in and out of himself. It's a bit hard for him to see though, for his own cable is nearly straight up blocking the view. He grabs it pulling it to the side and pumping it in time to Shockwave's movements.

Shockwave has to admit, it feels so damn good to plunge into one who can truly understand and enjoy this fully. Cole has to admit, it feels so damn good to be filled by a larger beast in a way he's never felt before.

"Primus YES Shockwave. Don't STOP!" He cries out watching them both.

"Oh shit, Cole! I can't stop myself!" Harder and deeper he plunges taking more of the body beneath him.

It came too soon, but they both know this wouldn't be the last time. Shockwave bares down deep feeling his body pump into the savior beneath him filling him like he's never known before.

Feeling that hot ejection, Cole's hand crushes down on his own cable just as Shockwave's face drops. He didn't meant to, but the hand jerked and he shot Shockwave right in the face with his own release.

That only excited Shockwave more with a delicious humm and if he could, he would be licking his lips to taste it. As it is, his sensor is more than happy to feel that hot personal fluid splattered right there.

Cole flushes, "I'm sorr-"

"Do it again," Shockwave lowly orders in that commander's tone of his.

Cole gulps, oh Primus…. This wasn't what he intended when he came over last night. And Holy Fuck Shockwave is absolutely gorgeous with that heavy ordering accent of his topped off all naked, sweaty…. He shivers.

Seeing that his heady order might have scared the non- s&m one, Shockwave blanches and pulls back to his shier self. "Sorry," and pulls out.

Before he can escape, Cole wraps a hand around that strong wrist, "Shockwave, can I stay for…. the day?" It's too soon to start any kind of a serious relationship again for either, but they are trusted friends.

Shockwave nods, "I should probably shower."

Coles sits up and watches the form retreat, "Shockwave…." the regal tipped helm turns back. "You know what is a real bitch about being a flyer?"

Several things come to Shockwave's mind having served with fliers during the war, but he's not sure just what the helo-mech will say.

Cole swallows hard missing Karma's gentle touch in the sensitive area, "My hub."

Shockwave's shoulders slump. He has to admit, he sure could use someone getting that spot where his shoulder cable port is,. "There's room for two," and holds a hand out.


	3. Chapter 3

**S & C 3**

Shockwave chuckles to himself lightly as he moves to take the back position of the shower letting the shorter mech be closer to the water. Even Cole has to laugh a little to that, used to being in the back himself. The overflow now hits the new taller one.

Cole notices there's only one washer but Shockwave snags it before the other can and has the soaped up cloth down the medic's back before he can even scowl. Once more Shockwave chuckles making Cole drop his helm in amusement, too. Who would have thought….

Cole relaxes into the feel of someone softly pressing down and exploring his back. When he and Karma first got together this was part of the exploration of each other he always found exciting. Seeing the dimples here, asking about a childhood scar there, a ticklish spot there.

Once again, these touches are not sexual which makes them all the more sensuous. A caress, not a fondle. A soft swipe, not a leading one. A care, not a cuddle. Both of them are finding themselves lost into the comfort once more. As soothing as the rain beating down on their poor forms, so the soft swipes of trading cloth back and forth over forms that were caressed and treasured by their loves.

Cole looks up into Shockwave's soft optic. Primus, no wonder Megatron loved him so much.

Shockwave looks down into those deep pools. Karma was ever so logical to fall for this one.

Their optics sink into each other and the lips are soon caressing each other again in soft swashes like that cloth now abandoned to the floor. Hands are supporting each other by long strokes up strong spines. Other hands are cupping cheeks and forbidding them to back up.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They know this is a trap they are falling into and yet terrified to let go. Not just for their own spark getting broken again, but for the other. They just can not bear the thought of being the cause of the other bleeding and crying again. The kisses grasp and tug harder clinging so they don't have to face reality again.

A white palm slides down and clings to a pert aft like a life saver on the ocean. A lilac hand reaches into a rotator hub hoping this one won't fly out of his arms. Cole moans out a startled cry as Shockwave hits a very sensitive spot. Shockwave croons back when a digit accidentally slips between those cheeks.

The cry breaks both of them apart and left panting, exchanging apologetic expressions. Cole is the first to speak, "Shockwave, unless you want me to overload again on you, it would be best if you remove your fingers from my rotator hub."

Clear precise instructions. Something Shockwave can understand and respect. Like setting a bird free, his hand relaxes and falls away. Like wise Cole lets the sweet aft go.

Both swallow hard to the almost love making again. Yes, things are getting out of hand. Cole turns away and Shockwave crouches down to swoop up the cloth placing it carefully into the basket.

"Done?" Cole lays his hands to the controls. Shockwave gives a soft positive sound and the cooling water is cut off. The home owner pulls the curtain aside and steps out first to get towels for himself and his guest. The guest accepts it with his own soft noise and they prepare to make themselves decent.

Cole steps back into the guest room to finish and Shockwave tucks the towel in low on his waist so he can look into the steaming mirror he swiped a clear space in. For the first time in nearly a lunar cycle he sees a mech he recognizes. The antenna actually come up, no longer laying against his neck in sorrow. The optic looks clear and bright. The shoulders look taught and ready to face the day.

With a curl of his helm to the side, he watches the medic of upper class put on his armor. It brings a smile to him. Megatron would just slap on his armor, Cole places his armor on his body carefully latching it down and checking it for perfection.

Feeling the optics on him, Cole turns to look back. He knows that amused look of the other even if he only saw it rarely. Before he can ask 'What?' his com-link rings. Reaching into the hip pocket he tugs it free and takes the call with a crisp and professional tone. Not relaxed and jovial like Karmashock, not gruff and like Megatron, no… a trained professional.

Shockwave crosses his arms over his chest and just watches him. His lover was slaughtered in his profession and he is right back at it. He on the other hand, lost his bondmate, and hasn't gone back yet. He was supposed to be the logical emotionless one who could barrel through everything so why is he just standing here? He could kick himself if he could.

It's not to say he hasn't tried, he did. The first day he made it as far as the garage where the tow truck had returned Megatron's bad assed truck. The second day, he made it to the corner where Megatron had played for him public in the café. The third time he made it to the parking lot until he saw Megatron's teammates coming off work to go home. When they looked away from him just not sure what to say, he came home and didn't try again.

Now Cole is snapping in his main rotor blades and finishing his conversation. How deft and skilled the mech is. On top of that, elegant. Even though he is preparing for an evac. he is careful in his placement. Surgical in dressing. Neat. Orderly. Perfect. An all too easy mech to fall for. Karmashock was damned lucky and the first boyfriend was a fool.

For that, Shockwave has to look away. What the FUCK is he thinking?! Well, maybe that's exactly it. Fuck….. No, it's way more than a simple comfort roll.

"Shockwave, I have to fly off, but I'd really like to have dinner with you this weekend if it's alright."

Shockwave slowly raises his head, "Cole, I don't want to go out. I'm not ready to face 'people'."

Cole smiles and motions for Shockwave to walk him to the door, "I didn't say TAKE you out to dinner. I want to MAKE you dinner…. At my place. Quiet, private out of here?" He motions to the shrouded alter.

For that, the toweled mech has to sigh. Cole really is a good friend looking out for his best interest.

With a flick of some towel lint off the lighted shoulder, Shockwave presses, "Only if I can help prepare. I could really use that kind of interaction."

Cole beams a smile so bright, he triggers his shoulder lights, "That would be grand! It's been a long time since I've had someone to do that with. I'll come up with the meal, you pick out the vintage and dessert. Make it expensive, I'm tired of cheep crap."

Shockwave can't help but roll out a long forgotten laugh. He too has been missing a bit of his elite days. Just… a little. He's a good cook, but Megatron was more for down home basics and really had no patience for that 'hoity-toity' stuff that took skill and time to prepare. Shockwave was worried his palate might become numb.

And in walks Cole into his life. Why ever didn't they spend time together before, he will never know, but will be grateful for now.

Cole reaches for the door handle, "I'll give you a call later this week for a time." But he doesn't leave. He just accesses the bigger mech. The widower. "Are you going to be alright, Shockwave?"

Shockwave doesn't touch him for he doesn't know what he would do after that, but he does lean out with his soft words. "I'm going to be fine. For the first time in a long time, I can feel again and I feel good. Thank you."

"What are you going to do today?" Cole presses.

The muscular naked chest takes a deep breath making Cole's optics go dark for a moment. "Work. I think it's time."

"Just-" squeaks out too high, making the antenna perk and Cole tries again with a cleared throat, "Just be careful not to push yourself too hard."

Shockwave smirks back, "Yes well, Mr. Lifeflight, you better-" he finds his own voice hitching. "-you come home safe too."

Cole steps forward and lays a hand to the spark, "I'll call you when I'm off. We can talk." Even a mech has his pride and thus avoids saying, 'so you don't worry.'

Shockwave pushes the hand away, "You don't have to."

Cole smiles and smirks back, "Too bad, I'm calling anyways."

Shockwave shakes his head and opens the door for the other practically shoving him out. Cole takes the hint and dashes to the fire escape stairs that will take him to the roof top. Shutting the front door, Shockwave makes his way to the balcony and opens the French doors to watch a red and white rescue chopper dash off into the distance. There is no mistaking the waggle to him that the former commander knows is way of a flyer waving in their alt-mode.

When he's out of sight, Shockwave turns around. His brief case is upstairs in the master berth room. The sacred chamber he has been trying to avoid. No, it's time. He must move forward with his life.

Shockwave makes his way up the stairs to the design floor. All heads turn to him in complete shock. Like a ghost. No one knows what to say to him. He hasn't spoken or messaged any of them in weeks. No one knew if he was even alive or sane.

His secretary finally moves and stands up, "Sir, where would you like to start?"

"Show me what is open and what is most urgent." He gives a clear response as if he had been here just yesterday.

"Of course," and leads the way to his office. They all get the hint and get back to work.

Time passes easily for him getting back into the groove of his numbers and science. A soft knock on his door brings his head back to the here and now. "Shockwave, it's closing time."

He gives the sweet secretary a light huff and twitched antenna of amusement. "That maybe, but I'm severely behind."

Timeflip comes to his side, "No one blames you and have all tried-"

He holds up a hand, "I can see they have been doing their best without me. It brings me great comfort to know this place doesn't crumble or stall in my absence, but I'm needed here and now-" his private cell rings.

He sighs heavily seeing who it is, "Hello."

"You aren't at home," Cole states the fact.

Shockwave gives a light glare to the secretary and a groan to the caller, "No, I'm not. Don't start with me, too."

Cole chuckles, "I'm just letting you know I am."

Shockwave sinks back into his chair, "Oh, right."

Timeflip looks at him curiously to having a caller. She knows the only one who could get this unprofessional reaction would be either Megatron or Karmashock, so who could this new one be? Shockwave can see the curiosity coming over her features and flushes before he can stop it.

"I need to go, Doctor." He pulls up his ires.

Cole is no fool, he hears the tone. "Shockwave, is everything alright?"

"Mrs. Timeflip, please just go. I will be here awhile." She scowls but takes the hint. Cole gives off an 'ahh' of understanding. Then he says to both of them, "Don't worry about me. I'll survive."

She leans in and gives her former commander and Guardian of Cybertron a motherly kiss on his Mohawk between the antenna. He blushes but she leaves closing the door behind herself.

"Did she just kiss you?!" Cole is astonished.

Shockwave takes a moment to ponder what to reply with and then smirks, "Jealous?"

Now it's Cole's turn to let off a full bellied laugh. He knows how much Shockwave is into only mechs let alone is a purely professional mech. NEVER would he have an affair so easily with a bonded bot. Shockwave finds Cole's laugher music to his audios and replies with his own laugh.

Laughter. Something both of them have been sorely missing. Both of their 'mates' would be highly disappointed in them if they did lose the ability to find humor in this life.

Cole's laugh dies down and he sighs, "Hey, she does have a point. No need to kill yourself the first day back."

Shockwave nods but isn't ready to hang up yet. "How did you do it, Cole? How long did you stay away?"

"I went back right away. I couldn't stand the sound of my own thoughts. I needed distraction. I fielded part of the arrangements from my office, but quite honestly, I begged my mother to do most of it."

Cole knows that Shockwave had handled all of Megatron's funeral and that was not easy with Puncture and Statik involved. Even he had not been at the service and never pressed why. Megatron had always been… difficult. It's not surprising that the last moment of his existence would be any less. The doctor had seen the icy tension between Megatron's family at Karmashock's own service. Shockwave had even left early when Puncture tried to approach.

"Have you spoken to Puncture?"

"There is no reason to. The bond is broken, there is no reason for me to have any relations with him."

Cole's spine chills the to the unspoken pain. "Shockwave you-"

"Don't, Cole."

Cole tries once more, "He lost-"

"Don't FUCKING tell me what he lost! He was one of the worst parts of Megatron's life and I was his BEST. Don't you DARE tell me how to deal with him! You have no idea how many times I looked at that scar on his chest and wanted to go out and kill Puncture for what he did. Yes that scar is a sign of his strength and moving on but damn it-"

"Shockwave….," Cole whispers the name making the panting one stop. "What aren't you really saying? What is the real problem with Megatron's father?"

Shockwave can't say it. Father, the word is a stave to his chest. Literally he can not speak the answer. He tries but the sound won't come out. He tries three times before he switches to another sentence, "I need to go. I really need to have these files prepared for the morning."

Having been lectured by a therapist enough times, the medic knows when to let something go. "Alright. I'll call you later so we can make plans for dinner."

It takes Shockwave a few moments to gather himself together. "Very well. I will await your call."

Cole frowns to the uptight persona coming back up with him yet he understands Shockwave burying his feelings so he can push into a task. "Good bye, Shockwave."

When the line closes, Shockwave folds the phone away and sets it on the corner of the desk next to the picture of Megatron. He cups the frame and pulls it close, "I'm sorry, I failed you again."

Before he can seep into the image much further, the computer pings saying it has backed up the files he needed. With that, he presses on.

A few days later, Shockwave stands back and takes a deep sigh of relief. There, the master berth room has been cleared of the berth he shared with Megatron and put into storage. Megatron's belongings carefully packed away and also into the storage room. This has now become his den. Large enough for him to lay out blue prints and if need be, leave them out. As much as he loved this room with his mate, he is really liking it becoming a work area in his new future. The berth downstairs he shared with Cole has now become a soft place to rest his head.

Megatron's urn still stands on the covered piano even though it has been tucked deeper into the corner of the room. He has not forgotten his mate, NEVER, but he is making an effort to LIVE. Something that Megatron and Karmashock would most certainly smile on him about.

With a soft sigh this time, he looks over to the clock. If he doesn't get moving he's going to be late! For the first time in a long time, he has a date. What is he saying: EVER!

He dashes back to his new bathroom and dabs on his cologne. One that Megatron hated, one that he loved. Looking into the mirror, he sees himself looking brighter and stronger than he has in a very long time. Not to say before the incident, but clearly after. As he strokes a hand up to his antenna, the silver ring flashes back at him. Does he remove it or does he keep it? As he tries to remove it, it won't budge. Not even twist.

No. He's not removing his mate from his life. If anything, he is ADDING to his life. He looks down to his left hand. The one that was made new in guarding of his homeland. He lost that but lived and gained. He looks back to his right hand.

With a smile to his antenna, grabs the keys off the counter with that hand and heads out.

The elevator lets him out at the garage and he looks to the wicked sports beast waiting in his parking space. With a flick of the remote, a throaty rumble comes from the Ferrari. Those long mechly elegant strides of his make their way over to the black beast and slide easily into the low slung driver's seat. The space next to it might still be fill by a burly beast of a machine, but this lithe little thing is ready to head off into the sunset for one exquisite and elegant dinner.

Just for fun, he throttles the engine at the light before he moves safely forward. "Damn it feels good to be alive again!"


	4. Chapter 4

**S & C 4 **

** art/Private-Commander-Medic-341576370**

/History%20of%20the%20Victor% 

. 

The peaceful yet slightly excited drive out to the upper class side of Kaon has Shockwave settled back comfortably into the conforming seat. Yes he has been out to the estate a couple of times. The last time of course had been for the reception to Karma's funeral - swiftly he shoves that memory aside replacing it with a happier one of Karma's birthday on the patio. Just the four friends and shish-kabobs. Slightly upper meal with that down home simplicity. Cole is a genius when it comes to merging the two, he will give the mech full credit for that.

Tonight it's going to be more than that, though. Cole had more than promised him that by saying he is pulling down the crystal and china. Rounding the next curve, out-cast elite mech checks to make sure the extremely expensive bottle does not roll around and get broken in his brand new high class vehicle. Nope, the seat belt has it tucked in nice and tight, he smiles to himself. Megatron used to tease him about always checking things twice or more.

That brings a hitch to his spark beat. Will he ever have a thought that doesn't include the other? Will he ever be to love again? He knows it's too soon to confirm what he has for Cole are amorous feelings but he will not deny they are very real and … safe. Seven hurt him. His sister hurt him. His father cut him. His mother… loved him. Cole… cares, maybe more?

Down shifting into the next pitched turn, the heavy engine groans it's protest to being quelled. It would like nothing more than to go full throttle and zip along. Shockwave is sure he and the vehicle could maneuver it with grace and skill, but it's the other stupid drivers he has to be prepared for. That is a risk he can not take. Cole can't lose anyone else. His spark hitches up a notch this time.

Seeing the straight away, he gives the vehicle what they both want and punches it into high gear. Was it a bit fast, maybe, but he really wants to get to his destination and with this clear shot, he can see anyone approaching. With a deep breath; he's ready to more than live again. He's ready to give his spark a second chance to feel fully.

Seeing the large home on the hill, Shockwave takes the curved drive at a respectful pace and passes through the open cast iron gates, straight on to the back where he sees the immaculate van parked. Easily he slews the sports car in beside it and cuts the deep purr of an engine. Just as he pops the door open, the front door to the second home opens and Cole wipes his hands on a towel approaching.

"It is you. I didn't recognize the vehicle. Wow!"

Shockwave's elegant larger frame slides out of the wicked beast with the grace of a serpent. Cole's optics leave the vehicle for the driver is making his throat bob. Oh Primus Shockwave looks so damn good pulling back into the old strong and focused form of his true self. With a soft push to close the door, Shockwave gives a confident answer.

"It was logical to make a change."

Cole's jaw drops and he blinks. THIS equals logical? He shakes his head and then sees the slightest glint to the golden optic as a hand slides down the back of the vehicle like one might graze a seductive set of fingers over a precious naked form.

That's when Cole gets it: Shockwave just made a deadpan joke. Cole' grin spreads finally getting it and Shockwave's hidden delight warms to having executed the joke perfectly while continuing a slowly sultrily glide round to the passenger door to retrieve his other prize.

For that, Cole steps forward to get a good look at this wicked thing trying not to watch the other's movements. The car is something some of the other snobby doctors would drive to show off. It's not like a 'reserved Shockwave'. So the fellow practical mech flicks the towel at it, "Explain to me how this is practical."

With a flick of the hand to the curvy roads he just took, he starts, "Handles great." Cole scowls at him for that. So the purple shoulders shrug and press on pulling up right with the bottle and closes the door, "Reliable manufacturing company, decent trunk space, and fuel efficient."

"Not to mention wicked as all sin in the looks department."

With a graceful glide to the front and then a sultry look down the other's full frame, he lowers his voice, "I hadn't noticed." And lays the expensive gift into the other's hands.

Cole notices Shockwave has not let go of the bottle and thus looks up from the gift. Yes, Shockwave just hit on him….perfectly. Oh Primus, Cole's spark skips a beat. Shit Shockwave has been bonded to charming Megatron and its effects are showing. Those sly comments and looks that Megatron would lay out only onto Shockwave are now coming forth. It baffles Cole for a moment let alone makes him hot.

Shockwave is one HELL of a mech to catch and now back on the open market….

The bottle is pulled against his dark cockpit shield and Shockwave steps back. "So, what can I do to help with dinner?" Cole loses the power to speak for a few moments.

The mech that just arrived at his door step is not the same wrecked one he shared a berth with just a matter of days ago. Nor is he the angry one he spoke to just after. So who is this handsome charming and confident mech?

Turning, he follows the taller one into his own home. There is the upright and dignity he is used to seeing. There is the pride and the honor he is used to as well. The old Shockwave hasn't died, nor has he been replaced. No, much like the humans like to call them; he has transformed into a new mech. A part of him will always be the widower but he will also always be the Shockwave from before and after bondhood. It makes this mech smile and push into this present as well. He too has changed and before him is a new mech he would very much like to get to know better.

"Well, I have the rue almost ready to start. If you would like, I have an opener in the second drawer and you can let that breathe while we prepare."

Shockwave gives his soft but slightly angled curt nod. Working side by side with someone who shares his same fickleness for precision and accuracy sure is nice. A comfort. A joy. A pleasure.

They haven't seen each other since that night, but have spoken a couple times. The last conversation was much better than the one from the office. Still, they haven't really talked about 'the night' that both of them fell into each other's arms with passion locked kisses.

In preparing the meal, they are rather quiet and occasionally find the other looking over to them and then swiftly shying away. Yes, they need to talk about it, but is this the time?

Looking up Cole lifts a piece of bread up to his open mouth extending his tongue just as there is a knock on his door. It stalls him in mid-move tongue still out. To Shockwave's own tight throat and heating middle, it makes the mech look just like dessert. Shit, he forgot to bring it!- and slumps his regal helm.

A second knock, "Cole-dear? Can we come in?" An older but quite upper class femme voice with a touch of an unusual accent calls from the screened-front door.

Cole gulps and looks over to Shockwave for approval, after all he was the one not ready to meet people. Still having the knife in his hand, Shockwave tips to the door, "Family are not the same. Besides, you love them very much and I would never deny you that."

The soft one slumps his shoulders, "Only if you are sure."

Giving a soft huff, Shockwave takes the bit of bread from his hand and motions to the door again, "Open that door or I will."

With a teasing lit, Cole smirks, "You don't have to go all Commander on me."

Shockwave swallows down the bread and the amours-taunts his past lover would lavish on him and will not deny he loved hearing. But that was his former master and Lord ….. his past.

Here and now he tugs the checkered shoulder plate of the neutral who currently commands his own floor in the hospital, "I'm not. I would like to meet your parents," and lets go to turn back to his preparations.

The younger one is wise enough to follow the request and opens the door. "Hello Mom, hi Dad. Please come in," and lays a hand out towards the kitchen where his guest awaits.

The unfolded Sikorsky-mech holds the door for his smaller femme mate. They are not surprised to see Cole has a guest (seeing the addition vehicle) but are taken back when they see who. Victrola grips Cole's hanging arm as Wolfgang extends his to Shockwave.

"Hello, you must be the Tarn boy. Ah, engineer, I believe? I'm Wolfgang."

Shockwave blinks taking the hand of the robust and round faced mech. 'Tarn-boy'? That does throw him off for a moment. Not only that, but this mech has a heavy accent that resembles what the humans call 'German'. Warm, quite deep, heavy and thick with guttural clips to it. Not a all like Cole's bland 'American ' accent.

With his own 'English' soft accent coming out, he finds his words, "Yes, Mr. Wolfgang, that would be correct. I did come from Tarn and I am the Senior Engineering Designer for Wave Industries."

With a deep chuckle the rounded mech's hazel optics twinkle, "So did you design that wicked piece of machinery in the drive?"

Shockwave gives a soft chuckle to the deep rumbling one and shakes his head. "Can't say I did."

With a finger to the side of his own helm the mech smiles broad, "Well at least you have a good optic for taste." When he smiles, the deep black swash of black on his face really brings out his warm features. It's no hard to see where Cole gets his smile, even if this one is slightly hidden behind a 'beard'.

Yes Shockwave had seen the couple before, but they never came to chat giving Cole a respectful distance with his private friends. Probably just as well considering Megatron's distain for the elites of the past. Two in particular; the ones that let Cybertron become a pool of pain and class distinction. The other was one particular mech who ousted and disowned his son so much as to kill the only parent who did love him.

Lifting his thoughts to the current elites, the last time he saw them, everyone was a bit off considering it was a funeral and he himself was in no mood for conversation. Now the mech before him is talking to him as if he was just a normal mech. Not a widower, not a soldier, not as his son's lover (not that he can claim that title: still Karma's as far as he is concerned)… no Wolfgang just sees Shockwave as any other normal mech. It actually makes his blue spark breathe easy and warmly.

Victrola on the other hand, knows very well who the mech is before her. He is the one who lost his bondmate trying to protect his friend and her son's love. It warms her deeply to see Shockwave and Cole making a meal together. Healing moment for both, hopefully? She is no fool either. There is something else going on because these two are far too quiet. She can see the way Cole is avoiding looking directly at Shockwave with his parents present. She gives Cole's arm another squeeze to her support of inviting Shockwave over.

Cole turns to his mom and gives her a crooked smile of gratitude and then leads her over. "Mother, I would like for you to meet Shockwave, a close friend of mine. Shockwave, my mother Victrola."

Ever so respectfully, Shockwave extends his hand to her. If he'd had real lips he would have kissed the back of her hand like the elegant and elite femme she is, but with his droid like face, his mother taught him a different way. He takes her right hand lightly tucking his left one to the small of his back. With an ever so graceful bow of his helm, brings the back of her hand to touch his the underside of chin while the antenna lay half mast, "Mrs. Victrola, a pleasure to see you again."

To his surprise, she flushes ever so slightly and Wolfgang gives Shockwave a curious optic brow lift. This is not the sign of a brilliant scientist, this is the son of an elite. "Just where were you raised in Tarn?"

Releasing the femme's hand, Shockwave rises upright to meet the curious hazel optics with both hands behind his back. "Honestly, it doesn't matter anymore. Kaon is my home now." Respectfully he turns to end that conversation.

Wolfgang knows well enough and gives a soft nod to let the subject go. "Well it looks like you at least know how to prepare a decent meal," he motions to the precise slices Shockwave had made.

Cole looks to where Shockwave is headed. Seeing the taller mech reach into the glassed door cabinets for two more settings, he makes the offer. "Mom, Dad would you like to join us for dinner? There's more than enough, so you can see."

The parents look over to the guest who now has the crystal down to answer the question. The matriarch waggles a finger, "Alright, but just dinner. No dessert for your father," and pats his front.

To that he scowls, "Since when?!"

Victrola takes the plates off the counter and hands them to her mate while taking the goblets from Shockwave's hands, "Since I said so and it's been a long time since Cole has had someone over…" She leads her mate out the door letting the younger two finish their preparations. "… and you aren't going to dominate the conversation with-"

Cole exhales loudly, "You may regret this, Shockwave."

"There are a lot of things I regret Cole, but spending time with a set of parents who actually care for their offspring, never."

That juts the red helm back up, but Shockwave has already turned back to the meal preparation thus cutting off that conversation as well. Cole steps forward sliding his arm over the violet grieve, "Thank you. It will make them feel better knowing I haven't died too."

Shockwave lays his own over the top, "They are good people and I could really use some intelligent conversation." Then his shoulders grimace feeling he made it sound like Megatron was a simpleton.

Cole gives a light smirk and pats the arm, "I get what you mean, it's alright. Come on, I don't want this to burn with them already putting me under the microscope."

From one scientist to another, Shockwave gives off a delighted laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

**S & C 5**

With the meal prepared, the younger two bring it to the outside patio table where the parents await. To their surprise, a bottle has already been poured into the pristine crystal goblets beside perfectly set china. Shockwave can't help but think of his mother.

Part of her had no choice but to be a servant to the duties of keeping up a clean house and making it perfect for his father. Yet part of her enjoyed the elite life. First of all, she had a bondmate who…. Well at one time cared for her. Cared enough to upgrade her so she didn't look like a droid to fit in with the others and she did birth two sparklings. One sparkling she loved more than anything.

"Shockwave?" Cole softly asks as he pulls the chair out for him to take at his side.

"Sorry, my mind wandered for a moment."

Victrola pouts but both Wolfgang and Cole give her a soft head shake to say nothing. Instead, they begin passing the dishes around. Cole starts the intellectual conversation to keep the questions off Shockwave.

"So, how was the conference?"

Wolfgang robustly chuckles, "Well Cole you know how it is."

Victrola shakes her head taking the next dish, "It wasn't that bad."

Shockwave enjoys hearing about some of the new advances to medicine being introduced. He does notice at one point, Wolfgang sets his fork down, tines upside down to the rim of the plate. A sign that he is not done, but also keeps him from shoving more food in his mouth as they talk.

Sure Megatron had manners, but these are upper class manners that he has to admit, he has been well out of practice with. Watching the others though, he finds himself slipping back into it pretty quickly… like a human would an old pair of comfortable shoes.

"There were three new piece of equipment they were showcasing. Two looked promising but Cole I'm begging you, if the board agrees to the third, DON'T let anyone use it! Sabotage it if you have to."

The commander in Shockwave blinks to the order of a civilian. Oh right, Cole's parents are on the hospital board along with being movers and shakers in the community. He feels daft for forgetting for a moment.

"What's wrong with it, Dad?" The fellow doctor asks.

Wolfgang looks to his mate and then to his guest, "Ah, well…"

Victrola asks Shockwave, "I understand that you design equipment, but we are talking about medical equipment if you know what I mean."

The genius knows she means something a bit graphic could come out next and she was warning him. It warms him to hear the warm motherly tingle to her tone.

When Shockwave doesn't respond with more than just a nod of understanding, she turns a warning glare to her mate, "Sometimes these two mechs of mine forget their table manners when at home Mechs, there is a guest." She tries to end the subject by turning to a better subject and daintily stabs a piece of her meal, "This is delicious, by the way."

Shockwave looks between the two remaining mechs who share matching rebuked expressions then down to his own meal to keep from laughing.

"So Mr. Shockwave, tell me what you do."

"Mom…," Cole tries to pull the attention off his guest.

She plunks her hands into her lap a bit exasperated at his manners,  
"Cole! It is polite conversation to engage your guest and make them feel welcomed rather than disgust them with talk about the workings of the new amputation tools and subsequent prosthetics."

Now Shockwave does feel his meal catch in his throat and his gaze falling to his left hand.

"Mom," once more he tries to warn.

"It's alright, Cole, I'm fine." He raises his left hand and scrolls the fingers down elegantly, "I'm an amputee myself."

Now Wolfgang finds his meal sticking. "Forgive me, Son, I should have noticed."

The purple shoulders give a light shrug towards the bright red mech, "Then it is a credit to my doctor for performing the ….replacement."

Cole and Wolfgang hear something vast missing in the lag. Shockwave didn't say surgery, just replacement. Odd, but Cole is the one to speak first, "I'm sorry Shockwave, I forgot."

Shockwave picks up his fork and twirls a bit through the rue sauce, "That's alright, I forget myself many a time."

To everyone's startlement, a light fist bonks the table making all the dishes rattle, "This may not be my home but it is my property and I put a ka-bosh on any more medical talk at this table from any of you." Picking up the butter knife she holds it like a scalpel and waves it at her two red mechs in warning, "Do you hear me?!"

"Yes Ma'am," they both drop their chins muttering.

With that, Victrola turns her charming face to the guest. Yes she knows good and well he is a widower fresh out of mourning so she is gentle in her choice of conversation, "So Dearie, what do you design over there?"

Shockwave pulls his shoulders up proud and states quiet confidently, "Medical equipment."

Wolfgang's fork falls clattering to the table. Cole smacks his face down into his hand shaking and then shoots him a sneaky grin. Shockwave only flicks his antenna back to his host. Victrola catches on and lets off a deliriously happy laugh before threatening him too with her butter knife.

Shockwave has to admit, it has been one of the best dinners he's had in a long time. Complicated for the palate, intricate and highly detailed science talk and people who really care about each other's thoughts and feelings. There's no false or manipulating words. There's no hidden meanings to anything, no it's just straight out **conversation** in the true definition to the word.

He is no fool either. He knows that they know his bondmate died protecting their son's love. Yet, that is not who they engage. They engage who he would be without Megatron or even Chaos's elite heritage. He could spend all night here with these two-

Parents.

He watches as Wolfgang gives his son a bit of advice. It flares the blue spark for one he cares deeply for to be treated admirably by his parents. The only parents he had truly interacted with cut both him and Megatron deeply.

His spine chills thinking of Puncture for just a moment.

He can feel Victrola is watching him, but doesn't turn, thus Vicky (as she asked Shockwave to call her) joins her mate in advising their son. She doesn't talk to him like a toddler nor does she demand that he follower her advice. No, she enjoys his company and respects his own values and concerns. Cole's parents respect him as a grown adult.

Shockwave's mind continues to wander until Vicky rises thus the other three do as well. She turns to her mate, "Wolfy, I'd like to talk to you about something."

He's not an open rouge with his signs of open affection, but he does slip his hand tenderly into hers as if they were high school sweethearts on a first smitten date, "Yes, M'lady."

Cole comes over to give his mother a kiss on the cheek. This is not one of those stupid air kisses that many snobs would give. No, this is one of pure familial affection. To his father, he leans into him for a one armed hug receiving a firm clamp-pat to his shoulder. "Enjoy the night, Cole. You have good company to share it with." He makes sure to give Shockwave a slow inclination of his helm in a respectful bow to the other. Shockwave returns it like wise and then to Vicky as well.

For him, she gives this parting request, "Mr. Shockwave, please come again. I very much enjoyed your company."

Once more his helm dips, "I did as well, Mrs. Victrola."

With that, the older couple walk away. Wolfgang swipes a strawberry off the top of the cake in passing earning him a nudge from the shorter black and white femme. Shockwave watches them stroll down the path back to the larger house.

"They really love each other, don't they?"

Cole nods, "Yes they do. I've only seen one other couple just as, if not more, in love than them."

It takes Shockwave a moment before he turns his head to Cole. The expression says it all and he turns his optic aside.

Cole takes a deep breath, "Would you walk with me?"

Shockwave nods and Cole motions to another path that will go around the estate. The place is larger than where he was raised and quite impressive, but that is not what holds his attention, it's Cole focused on his hands.

"What I am going to tell you, you won't like to hear."

"How can you say that?" Shockwave sends back. "Maybe I like everything you say."

That makes the hands wring again. "Look Shockwave, we haven't exactly spoken about what happened that night. It wasn't why I came over."

"Do you regret it?"

"Do you?" He really wants the other's feelings.

Shockwave steps in front of Cole halting the walk giving a slight bend at the waist to bring them both face to face. "Absolutely not."

Cole nods but doesn't look at him any more. Cupping the chin, Shockwave makes him. The desire is there and he leans in but Cole grasps the purple chin and pushes it back. That does make the taller one stop. Since when has he been the one to initiate affection?

"Shockwave, you're like a first year college student with a freedom but doesn't know what to do with it. Like a mech on his own for the first time with a full account."

That does make the older one take a step back and flinch. "I'm not a child! I'm nearly fifty!'

Cole walks around Shockwave forcing him to follow. "You were a child under strict rules and order" Shockwave can nod to that. "From there you went straight into an Army with more strict rules and orders to follow. In both cases, you were told what to do and what to think and how to behave."

Shockwave does not like the path Cole is taking him down, but he has no choice but to follow it. He does counter though, "I was on a secluded post left to myself for eons."

Cole waggles a finger knowing about the Guardian of Cybertron. "No, you were still a soldier with a mission and protocol to follow."

Fueled with indignity, Shockwave defends, "I was a Commander for Primus-sake!"

Cole jerks his head up to the former commander, "That only makes it worse! Not only did you serve a leader, but you had to keep up a façade for the subordinate soldiers."

Once more Shockwave scoffs, this time really pulling his back up taught and even bringing his face up a bit higher in dignity. "I was always honest. I did not lie, it's not in my programming."

"Define a lie. For you certainly know how to twist or bend the truth. I saw you do it with my mother about that little 'medical equipment' thing. Wave Industries products are in the hospital but not the way you let it lay. A ruse, a distraction, I don't care what it is, but it's not the full truth."

Shockwave has nothing to say to that just continuing on beside Cole along the path. Cole is the one to press on with a soft voice, "Look Shockwave, I've dated before, you have not." That does bring the golden optic to see what is really going on here. Cole continues.

"I've had my spark broken before. I've been lied to before and used. I've had relationships fall apart. You have not. I'm still tender and raw right now. I can't handle another break up, most certainly not with you."

"I won't.  
Cole bores his gaze in, "Maybe not on purpose, but maybe now that you are a free mech for the first time with a whole buffet choice of suitors, you find someone better than I. I can't handle being your rebound berth buddy. I can't handle the only thing we have in common is… them. It's not fair to either of us."

Shockwave stalls, "Are you saying you don't even want to try?"

Cole shakes his head, "No, what I'm saying is, you don't have to put on ire's for me. I know who you were before. I'm not blind, you are a damn sexy thing. Any mech would want you at their side and waking up next to your -Primus!- naked body!"

He has to clear his throat to the image of their morning after. Shockwave is flushing just as badly. Sure he'd overheard some whispers about his form but the only one he ever really listened to was Megatron. Those were to only compliments that made it past the audios into the spark.

The younger medic continues, "You and I have had conversations before while Megatron and Karma talked privately, and I find you stimulating company, but I also know me." This time he steps in front of Shockwave, "I work in a hospital. I work long hard hours that killed a relationship for me and left me devastated when he found someone who 'actually has time for him'." Then he looks down to his pedes, "I'm not built like a soldier you are used to either."

Shockwave is humbled by what he has just heard. Cole actually thinks he's this carefree and could have anyone he wants? Part of that is a thrilling compliment, but the other side is a lie. He doesn't want anyone. Then he hears the punch line.

"I can never live up to your Megatron and you can never replace my Karmashock. I'm afraid of either of us hurting the other and losing the friendship we have."

Now it's Shockwave's turn to reply. "I was Megatron's friend long before he accepted my love. Karmashock clearly was a dear friend to you by the way he talked about you to us."

Touching the face would be a lover's move, so he lays a hand to the checkered shoulder, "I value our friendship very much and you and I have a firm foundation there. I would not mind making it deeper but respect if you need to hold back."

Cole nods, "Thank you, Shockwave. I too value what we have."

Now the hand does graze the side of the nightly chin, "Do you want to explore more?"

The green optics go dark, "You have no idea how much I want to."

"Show me," is whispered so closer to the other's lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Cole 6**

After Shockwave's expensive bottle and Cole's dessert (minus one strawberry) and more talk of shared interests, Shockwave didn't spend the night. Both of them could feel their bodies quiet angry about it too. There were sure some lustful gazes to the other and Cole found himself standing beside that beast of a sports car licking his lips just really wanting to taste Shockwave's own 'lips' once more.

For a mech not experience in courting, the taller one sure knows how to innocently display the goods. The funny part of all of it is, that after their little talk, Cole could see Shockwave drop some of his stiff form and it had nothing to do about being out of the parent's sights either. It had to do with being in company with a trusted friend….if not more.

So here they stand under the blanket of night beside a sinfully delicious vehicle and it's matching owner to watch an honorable mech let him slip away. Neither is quite sure what to say. Once more it's the shy one who makes the surprising move.

With a graceful extension of his hand, he brings it under Cole's right hand and brings it closer to his bowing face. Cole already knows the touch of his 'lips' and thus when they presses to the back of the medic's tender and experienced hands, he flushes badly. "Until next time, Cole."

Cole's spark flutters like a school bot with his first kiss. Words fail him. Shockwave lowers the hand and slides back two steps to release the door of his vehicle. Still Cole can say nothing. Shockwave is not putting on ire's, he's being his natural elite mannered self which is just…. Oh My Primus… gorgeous. Even the mighty Lord Megatron would have been left speechless if he had been courted by Elegant Mr. Shockwave. Watching that form lower into the vehicle and disappear from his sight, Cole thought his spark would throw itself on to the hood and beg him not to go!

But he did let him go. The soft purr of the viciously powerful engine kicked on and it backed out, then respectfully down the drive. Cole watches the tail lights disappear past the closing iron gate and feels his spark plummet.

Fuck. He doesn't need this right now. His brain is trying to tell his spark not to get his hopes up. Shockwave is a free mech. There's so many mechs out there that could easily charm and swoon him away. He deserves a good mech to be by his side.

Slumping back inside, Cole locks the door and then begins rinsing the dishes for the dishwasher. He won't lie, he will be quite jealous if someone else wins Shockwave's affections. He is more than wanting Shockwave for himself-

Damn when did he turn into a jealous beast like greedy Megatron! He slams the washer door and punches the button so start angry with himself. He doesn't want an infatuation. He doesn't want a fling or even a rebound. He wants… what Megatron and Shockwave shared: deep forever commitment. They were lucky to have that for as long as they did.

A knock on the patio door lifts him from his deep thoughts. The large shadow could only be one person at this time of night, and so he lets his father in. The father and son don't have to say anything.

Wolfgang doesn't give Cole a choice and pulls just him into his thick warm embrace. Cole slumps his head against the red chest much like he did when he was little and needed comfort. Wolfgang cups the helm of his young squire and keeps it softly in place. The other palm-heel makes warm rubbing circles around the rotor hub like only two heli-mechs can understand for warm comfort. "It's alright, Son."

Cole's throat catches, "I'm not a baby anymore, but damn it hurts."

"I know, Cole, I know." With than leans his bearded cheek to his wonderful compassionate son.

Now hi chest hitches, "I-can't do this." He tries to take another breath but it hurts. Wolfgang gives an extra press to the rotor. "I don't want to be in love any more. I can't do this if he finds… someone else, or if he decides… I…." He breaks.

Wolfgang is not ashamed of his son's soft tears. Hell! the mech has gone through a shit load of spark break in the last few lunar cycles. He offered his spark to Karma but the mech shied away from the gift too scared to do that again. Cole wasn't offended, if anything, embarrassed that he should have known better. Just when Karma was talking about considering the idea (not anytime soon, just finally being open to the idea) the conversation was ripped away and crushed out.

Cole never wants to feel again. It hurts too much. It's too scary to reach out again knowing that it could just wither away or be ripped from his tender grasp once more.

Wolfgang was at the hospital when Megatron and Karmashock's bodies arrived along with the other victims. These were the only two to arrive DOA, (along with the assailant). Wolfgang will never forget that audio shattering wail that came from his son's curled chest when Karma' gurney was passed by the ER straight on to the morgue.

The Sikorsky's arms tighten around his Dauphin once again in the present shuddering in the horrific memory of watching a piece of his son die.

Cole had no idea about the shooting until he was paged to help in the ER and the new coroner came to the wrong entrance of the hospital. Wolfgang had arrived just in time to see the that unique Suzuki's helmet visor sticking out from under the drape. Cole had seen it too and ran, only to cry out….

Wolfgang's chest hitches feeling his son tightening his arms around him once again like that day. "It's alright, Cole. Let it out." He knows good and well Cole has been trying to stay professional for his co-workers, Karmashock's staff and also so his parents won't worry about him. Little does he know that keeping it all bottled in is actually worrying his parents even more. At the little bike's funeral, Cole hadn't caved or cried. He stood professional and strong. Now it's all coming to a head and then some feeling attachment for someone all over again. A scary feeling to allow yourself to feel again.

Wolfgang even rocks his son a bit when he feels the chest stop hitching, or is it his own chest that is hitching?

More than anything he wants to see Cole happy. He doesn't care of Cole bonds or not, he just wants him to not be alone and have someone he can trust in his older vorns. The parents won't be here forever and he needs… a companion. For Cole didn't just lose his lover, he lost his best friend just as Shockwave had. Cole said that Megatron and Shockwave had been not just soldiers but friends during the war.

Cole presses his own hand in like fashion to his father's hub to return the comfort. "I'll be fine, Dad."

Wolfgang gives his deep heft-snort, "Of course you will. You are my son after all." Cole chuckles lightly to them both trying to be proud mechs while cuddled into each other for support. Wolfgang steps back an looks into his mate's deep green optics on his son. "Better?"

Cole nods in a confident way ever so grateful for his father's love. He really is lucky to have parents who support him in so many ways. They let him stretch and spread his blades, but never let him forget he is loved and a pride in their sparks.

Wolfgang looks down on the boy who is most certainly a full blown mech of his own creed and credit, yet will always be chip off his own spark. It's been a long time, but Wolfgang is not afraid to show his affection. He always will and Cole is never ashamed to receive it. A father's bold kiss is pressed to the forehelm and then steps back, "Get to berth! Can't have you collapsing from exhaustion in the ICU ward because you've been partying it up."

Cole has to snort a laugh to that. Shockwave and his parents for dinner can hardly be called a 'party'. Shockwave didn't even stay to keep him up further so that makes it even funnier. He throws his own tease back and flicks a pointer finger off his temple, "Yes sir."

"Good night, Cole." Wolfgang steps out the back door closing it behind himself. Cole leans a forearm to the frame and watches that broad heavy form with ever so long blades swish in his confident stride whistling his way back to his own home and his mate. With a warm sigh, the son knows he's a very lucky bot. With his father's reaffirmed love, he can sleep better tonight than he first thought he would.

In a way, Shockwave and Cole knew it wouldn't last. They'd had a taste of trusted warm comfort and a delicious release. They knew who they could trust their bodies to, so when it came time again, it wasn't that much of a surprise to either.

They were at Cole's home watching a documentary when Cole started, "I saw you talking to Togan. How's he doing?"

Shockwave adjusts in his seat a bit uncomfortably. "Um, fine, I guess."

That does make Cole turn curiously, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shockwave flushes deep, "He asked me out." Cole's spark plummets. It finally happened. He knew it would, how could someone NOT ask Shockwave out and that Togan is GORGEOUS in body and spirit!

Before Cole can completely look away, a lilac hand softly turns his cheek back, "I told him I was already seeing someone."

They hadn't made it official with each other let alone anyone else so this is the first… declaration. Cole sinks into the touch. The larger hand gives a soft pull begging Cole to come closer. Easily the helo replies bringing them closer together for another warm exploring kiss like that night.

Hands stay respectful in caresses and touches, but there is no question, this is a serious make-out session. Nuzzling into the neck and throat, heated pettings, deep kisses and cods warming up.

"Oh Primus Shockwave…"

"Cole…" is whispered out needily.

He was going to respect the other and just leave it at pettings but damn he can't help it. A white hand slides over a violet hot cod, "May I?"

Shockwave's head is spinning that he can't think much past a grunt. Instead, he lays a hand over Cole's giving him permission to play with his body as he desires. He was not expecting Cole to slide to the floor on his knees and slide both hands along the inside of the thighs spreading them apart.

"SHIT!" Shockwave hisses, gripping the seat cushions.

**{insert readers imaginations here}**

"Oh Primus COLE!" He moans deliciously to the hot mark over him.

Just to finish off the blue spark, Cole curls the faces back to each other. "Mine."

Shockwave (still holding the helm) smooshes their faces together slathering their taints in one very hot kiss. Cole rises up and brings himself to straddle the lap keeping them hot and hard together.

Yet, a kiss can only last so long. Pulling apart, Cole is now heaving where Shockwave is panting. "Please don't go home. Please stay the night."

The hot violet one nods and slumps back against the couch. "Maybe I'll just sleep right here."

Cole shakes his head, "No, I'm a better host than that. You don't have to stay in my berth, I do have a guest room."

Shockwave's haze clears hearing the respect Cole is giving. He really is a patient mech, far more patient than he. Karmashock was a very lucky mech. No….. he is a lucky mech. Shockwave is a lucky mech to have Cole care for him so very much.

"Whatever you wish, Cole. Waking up under your roof or under your arm I do not mind." His hand cups and strokes that compassionate cheek, "I won't force you."

"I… think the guest room will be….."

Shockwave's next kiss is not to pressure the mech but to accept his need for Shockwave to be close, but maybe not that close yet. He knows they are both moving pretty fast for two mechs who lost the loves of their lives. He knows neither wants to be rash but nor wants to lose what is brewing here.

Cole slides out of the kiss tucking his helm into Shockwave's broad shoulder, Guardian arms wrap around and protects the other's wishes.

Morning arrives and Shockwave feels the berth jostle a little to a second form with a soft warm chuckle. The sleepy one barely cracks his optic open from under his pillow, "Yes?"

A soft hand runs down a naked purple and snowy spine to stop where the twisted coverings hide his cute aft. "Megatron wasn't kidding when he said you were a berth hog."

Shockwave lifts his helm to let the pillow fall down over his folded arms and then plunks it on top of the fluff, quirking his antenna in response, "Hum, well you try sharing a berth with that tank and then we will talk."

He has to admit it feels good to be able to talk about Megatron like this. Without the pain without the hurt. Just to recall the warm memories.

Cole grabs the shams off the floor and tucks them under his chest and own folded arms as he lays beside the other. "Damn you are sexy in the morning." He leans in to get a soft greeting kiss.

Too sedated to move more than his lips, Shockwave hums into the greeting. "Not so bad yourself there, Cole." His optic trails down the mech only covered in his tasset.

Cole flushes and lays his cheek to the pillow. "Any more thoughts to what my dad said about taking Wave Industries back? I know you gave up your rights in order to be by Megatron's side during his recovery and early bonding days, but if you think you could make the place better…"

Shockwave closes his optic down, "I don't know, Cole. I'm a submissive. I am half droid after all."

Cole lays a soft hand to the helm top tracing the Mohawk mark, "You were a commander. You were an Operations Commander. You do lead a team of geniuses today. You are a free mech."

Shockwave can feel himself melting and mewling to the touch and supportive words. Megatron would have ordered him to stop talking this way, but not Cole. His words and touch are gentle reminders of how far he has come. Shit if Cole keeps this up he would do anything he said. Instead when he hears his name said again he knows he has to answer. To break the caressing hypnotic touch, he rolls to his back retucking the arms under his helm. Yes the sheet and blanket get all tangled around his middle, but there's still room for his naked leg to bend upright, pede flat to the berth.

"I just don't know, Cole. I know what other responsibilities the board and CEO have. I just don't know if I want to baby-sit again. I really just like doing my drawings, working with bots who enjoy their designs as well and ….," He turns a helm to capture the curious green optics, "…coming home." That flushes the other's cheeks again.

Shockwave smirks his antenna and leans over to cup the waiting cheek, "There is something I really enjoyed with Megatron. A very simple life. Nothing complicated. Life is too short to fill it up with complications and bureaucracy. Let someone who enjoys that life play at it. I would rather come home to sweet comfort."

Cole smiles and leans heavier into that palm with a hot cheek, "I just don't want you to miss out on something. I would never want to be a cause of you restraining your desires."

Shockwave rolls to his side, "Restrain my desires? In that case," he leans over the other and gives his own morning greeting.

Letting the morning light bathe over them, the couple make love.

~~~Time passes~~~

Shockwave once more enjoys watching Cole get himself dressed. This time though, they are side by side dabbing on the cologne they like and adding on touches of wax and polish here and there that an elegant who takes pride in their appearance would wear.

Cole puts a special dab to his lights, "Karma would tease me for taking so long to get ready."

Shockwave smirks taking a bit of that dab to his own polyhex chest 'glass', "Megatron said I was worse than a femme."

Cole helps get a spot in a crease, "Is that a compliment or a cuss?" They both have a good chuckle to that knowing Megatron may have liked some attributes of a femme but always drooled over all of Shockwave's sexy attributes.

Shockwave leans down and gives Cole a leading kiss, "Come on, we better get going if we are to meet your parents for brunch."

Cole presses in again, "Screw that, kiss me like that again and we can meet them for dinner."

Shockwave sniggers, "Sorry, but I've put too much attention into my armor to let you distract me so easily."

"So easily?" Cole grabs that right antenna and rubs it just right to make the other shiver. As pay backs, Shockwave digs a finger just right into the hub returning the favor. The kiss breaks and the optics search. Do they really want to do this right now? Both throats bob, after all their first copulation had been unintended and do they really want to continue that? Their love making has been nothing like what Shockwave's bondhood like had been, but certainly more sexual contact than Cole had with Karmashock. Once more, a new form of intimacy for both. A new piece of a new relationship.

The optics search trying to get a sense of the other. Then Shockwave feels the blades part right and left under his hand leaving him room to take Cole from behind still mostly armored and not get the dark cable cut. Shockwave lays the antenna back and headily whispers, "I'll drive, we shouldn't be that late."

Cole turns to face the mirror and pert himself. Shockwave can watch himself as well as he takes Cole right against the counter among the polishes and other primping material. The most gorgeous sight of all though is watching Cole pant out his name as he nuzzles into the flier's neck and moans his own croons of neediness.

They weren't that late for their reservation. Wolfgang and Vicki had just ordered the champagne for their table as they saw the sports car pull up just on the other side of the artificial hedge barrier to the upscale bistro. Both mechs step out on their own with no signs of the last minute quickie against the dresser. Both couples wave and the younger pair come through the main door and round to the reserved table.

Cole gives his mother a kiss on the cheek while Shockwave shakes Wolfgang's hand in greeting before slipping into their own seats. Just as Shockwave flicks the cloth napkin to his lap, he hears his name from someone outside the bistro's patio. He knows that sound and really wants to ignore it but can't when the other three pairs of optics turn from the caller to the designator of said name. Shockwave can feel a burning in the pit of his spark and it's not pleasant.

The final call to the name is said while standing next to his vehicle with a key poised dangerously close to the immaculate paint job. "So Shockwave, too good to acknowledge me or too ashamed that I was right all along?"

Cole whispers, "Who is he?"

"A blight in my life," his chest hitches not for the car, but for this mech trying to tarnish Megatron's dignity.

"I work for people in the news industry, **Mister**. Shockwave. I know exactly who that dead tank was at the psychiatric clinic." Shockwave slowly rises pulling his shoulders up taught in warning feeling his spark begin to pump harder than it has in lunar cycles; it hurts. Both Wolfgang and Cole's optics go wide to Commander Shockwave coming to life again. The chest swells but internally it tears as the fists clench bringing the bicep muscles ready to strike. The stupid little mech is being loud enough to draw attention to both the silent violet mech and the mouthy yellow one.

"Don't." Is all Shockwave orders and he doesn't mean the car, either.

The key flicks against the vehicle marring it and Seven taunts, "What? Can't stand the thought that you were so blinded by your pede kissing of the great Warlord that you couldn't see the psychopath for who he really was? After all, why was he over seeing a SEX therapist?"

Shockwave moves. With a blurring leap he is over the hedge and striding charging towards the mouthy one. "Take that back!" he barks.

Another mark is made to the car, "I was right! You were lucky not to bear the spawn of that deranged egomaniac that-OHF" He never saw the fist strike. Not a back hand this time. No a full fledged fist right square into the face.

The Commander orders again, "I said take that back. You publicly slandered him, now you will retract that statement."

"No." This time he says it softer as if talking to his friend again, "Shockwave, I was right. Why couldn't you have just left him. Why couldn't you have just come with me? If the only way I can get through to you is by stating the cold hard facts out in the open where you can't hide from them, then sue me. I could have saved you from him and a life of shame and torment if only-"

"Shut up! I told you before, you don't know me. You know nothing of me and you never did understand even when you saw us together. You still were some stupid little thing who just takes. You could never GIVE! He gave it ALL to me! You had no respect for me or all that he and I fought for together! Or even what we LIVED for. You understand nothing you selfish little rat!"

He grabs the twerp by the throat shoves him towards the back of the vehicle, "No you take that back and don't you DARE repeat or try to slander Megatron's name again!"

Seven chokes but still shakes his head, "Probably the best thing that ever happened was to not propagate for Megatron-"

The little bastard never had a chance against the strong droid fists. On top of that, fueled by wrath of a rending spark. Over and over the fist strikes drawing more and more oil.

"Shockwave! Shockwave! You're going to kill him!" The checkered medic tries and tries to yank the stronger fists back but to no avail. Flicking on his blades to give him just a bit more pull he is able to stagger Shockwave's next punch.

That's when the medic hears a rasping coming from the ragged purple glassed chest. He kicks on to full throttle and falls back with Shockwave falling into his lap, bending his own blades in the process. That's where he sees it. The polished glass of Shockwave's chest piece is glowing erratic blue.

"Oh Primus Shockwave, what have you done?" The mech is falling limp in the red and white arms while the blue glow is pulsing more and more erratically and a horrible rasping sound is getting louder from the chest.

The medic knows that Shockwave's spark chamber is wide open and something is more than horribly wrong. Even upset, it shouldn't pulse this chaotically.

"DADDDDD!"

The last thing Shockwave hears is a son crying out in agony for his father.


	7. Chapter 7

**S & C 7** **Breaking bonds**

The last thing the Guardian heard before pain blacked him out was the agonizing sound of a son crying out for his father's help. It was a sweet sound to him. The warmest thing that could push him under. He could die happy with that sound. A tight parent-child bond that could never be broken. It might have been agonizing, but Shockwave could also hear all the faith Cole has in his father. Certainly more than he or Megatron ever had for Chaos or Puncture. A faith their son would have had for his father ….

As comforting as that pleading cry was, right now he is coming-to feeling like Megatron's tank form, his truck and a legion of gladiators took a turn with him. Countering the crushing feeling to his chest is a soft voice crooning his name to be broken periodically by a horrible beeping sound as if those trucks and tanks are planning to back up and do him in again. He cringes and tries to move out of their way only to be met by a searing pain in his chest straight through to his spine. Maybe he should have just let the trucks have their way with him again. He groans in agony again.

The soft voice and long strokes to his antenna warns him, "Hey there, take it easy." It's not his dear Megatron's voice but it is comforting safe voice. Half-lining his optics, he sees Cole's green optics but on a compassionate black and white femme face of a trained nurse. She pulls back and two more sets of green optics come into his view. One he is more than pleased to see, one he never wanted to see again.

"Go away," his raspy groggy voice husks out. It might have been quiet but the sharp cut is clean and clear. All faces look to each other in confusion as to who he means.

"Alright, I'll leave you with family," Cole starts.

With a painful cough, Shockwave is harsh, "The bond has been broken, he is not family." Puncture actually flinches to dear soft Shockwave disowning him so harshly.

"Shockwave-dear….," the prim matriarch soothes his antenna with a bit more pressure trying to hold him down and make him think about his statement.

Shockwave does his best to ignore the pain (thankful for a bit for his droidness) to turn out of her touch and look her square in the face. He tries to be a gentlemech but he is seething in spark-break right now. "Ma'am, a femme of your grace, should not hear what I am about to say."

Regal as she can be, she half rises to lean over and press his antenna to the pillow. "Bullshit." All mechs gasp at the cuss coming from her lips and he scowls with his. Now she understands, he has been respectfully restrained for to his breaking point. That's part of what happened at the bistro, but Megatron's father is another piece of the puzzle. It's time Shockwave let go.

"As your attending nurse, I will NOT leave your side. Now say what is on your chest that you have been holding back for too long. What is it that is killing you?"

Dr. Cole tries to regain his own power in the room, "Mom, he shouldn't get upset. Not after what Dr. Ratchet said."

"Oh Primus," Shockwave sinks in humiliation. If Ratchet is his attending surgeon that means this is really bad news and some of his concerns have been vilified.

Victrola rises to her full height and turns to Wolfgang, Puncture and Cole all in this room as the door opens and the former Autobot's Chief Medical Officer enters the room. "Let me tell all of you mechs something about spark break, alright. Listen clear." Ratchet gives her a nod to continue. He can see the tension between Puncture and Shockwave. Hel he can feel the ice in the room. Puncture always has been a difficult mech (no surprise where Megatron got more than his fangs from!) but something really much have pushed ever so respectful Shockwave to this: literally a broken spark.

She points back to Shockwave, "None of you have any idea what this mech has been through! Even I don't. If he feels like he has held back too long for fear of hurting or losing any of you while losing himself all along, then you all can go to hell." They all just stare, including Shockwave.

"I knew who Megatron was all along." She points to Shockwave, "This mech meant everything to him and I watched today as someone try to destroy that dignity and honorable bond they had." She points back to Puncture, "I suggest you hear what he has to say. If you care anything for him, then you would let him finally get this pain off his chest, for I seriously doubt even you, Cole, knows the full extent of his pain." She looks between her checkered mech and the gowned one. Both of them look away from each other too ashamed to reveal that they have held back a bit of their joined grief or that they are even in some sort of a loose relationship.

So she lays a hand on Shockwave's shoulder, "Look, Elite elegance and dignity only goes so far. Even Wolfgang and I know there is a time and a place to air one's grievances. Please, Son, do not let your sorrow remain to crush the life out of you."

Shockwave tries to curl away, "I …only ever told Megatron my personal issues. Likewise, he only shared his tears with me."

"The boy was a fool to cry!" Puncture scoffs.

That is what Shockwave needed to bring him fully around. He whips, "No, he wasn't! Don't you EVER call him a fool. YOU are the fool!"

Vicky steps back giving Shockwave room to move. The spark meter begins to rise and so do the doctors' optic brows. Vicky tisks a finger at the red and white ones not to move or else face her wrath. Shockwave hears the warning beeps steadily rising too but sits himself up to face the one that should have loved Megatron more than himself.

He seethes, "This may killed me, but I don't care." The blankets are ripped back and he slides his bare pedes to the floor as he punctures Puncture with his optic-barb of spark-gold coloring, "In fact, I hope it does."

Puncture shivers to the icy wish. Cole pales and pangs. Vicky shoots her son a pout but then a gaze of hope. Wisely, Cole just stands by and waits even though his spark is tearing.

Shockwave makes his slow small steps towards the one who should have been his support in a time of grief but he couldn't stand to look upon. "You want to know my problem with you, fine. You spit on Megatron's chance to be a father once, alright. But a second time? How. Dare. YOU!" He grabs the IV trolley for support. "After everything he did to make Cybertron a home again for all and you tell him he shouldn't have an heir?! That he will just fuck that up too?!" He stumbles but shoves all arms away, "Again!" His chest lurches and the monitor skips.

"I hope you enjoy your new laws, rules and freedoms for your SON made it happen thanks to you and that bitch of a mother!" He makes a few more steps until he is face to face with the one that created the love of his life.

"You want to know what Megatron did after you told him it was a mistake to try again. Yes, you actually told him it was a sign from Primus not to have our first son and he was a fool to try again. How FUCKING dare you!" He slams a fist into the shoulder panel making the beeps erratically increase in pace and Puncture is actually frightened that Shockwave just might kill him, or worse… die at his pedes.

Shockwave then drops to a softer tone hearing the pinging. "Let me tell you what he did after you told him once more he was a fool. He came home to ME. That's right, his bondmate that he committed his life to. He made the most passionate love to me ever."

That makes Puncture embarrassed and blanch. The first meeting to his son-in-law was as the couple were making love. One of the most embarrassing moments of Shockwave's life as well, but right now, he doesn't care. Right now, he says it this way so Puncture can remember that look on both of their faces as they passionately gave themselves to each other… only. Committed. Bound. And so in love with each other they couldn't even be bothered to even close a door completely.

"That's right, Puncture. All that pride and honor and blessing he hoped you would give him, he rained down and covered me with." He shivers remembering that last moment of effervescent love making. "That's right, more passionate than our bond night when I asked him to accept my spark into his life. Better than when he revealed his gorgeous crest to me (his fingers reach out as if he could feel it once more) refusing to hide anymore of himself from me. Better than the night we made our son on the kitchen table because he loved me so much he couldn't wait to have me against him!"

Shockwave is swooning from the passionate memories that he can never top leaving his spark screaming in very real sharp pain. Wolfgang cups a bicep but says nothing, just nudging him to go on while supporting him. Puncture is paling more and more with each word. He knew his son had a sexual appetite but had no idea he could **love **so passionately. Certainly more than he ever had with Angra or even Statik.

The widower is not done though, he lets his voice become English-sultry, (certainly the meds are knocking him off character a bit but he doesn't even care). "He filled me and inducted me with so much of his passionate love I thought I would… explode." The last word is just about a whisper as it slips out. Its enough to make everyone blush as if silver ghost is in the room right now consuming his living violet lover all over again. A fitting last moment that these two beloveds shared together.

Shockwave's optic goes dark and his speech begins to slur a bit drugged by the memory and whatever is in the trolley-drip and his failing spark. "He was looking forward to his pregnant hottie again. He promised to make love to me every night or any other time I craved just to make sure the sparkling knew it was created and infused with our love. He wanted there to be no doubt that both of us were the reasons for his life. He loved THIS family more than anything. Any-thing…"

Shockwave jabs his finger into Puncture's chest, "And you had the cogs to tell me that I was blessed not to be raising his sparkling!" He rises to his full height shoving his face right into the paling older one and roars, "Well let me tell you this! Even if I was sti-*aahhhh!* carrying, I would NEVER let you see M-Megatron's *arghh* greatest legacy!"

That was it for his spark as a shooting pain sends his world spinning. "Be-gone," he whispers the order clutching a hand to his fabric covered chest. Wolfgang now has his hand around his waist to hold him upright and Puncture steps back now feeling the other's pain completely. The older mech is feeling every cut he made to Shockwave. He had no idea his words had cut so deep, he just though Shockwave was silent by being his dignified self and immersing himself in his work (having no idea he had taken an extended leave).

Now he is seeing things from Shockwave's point of view. Puncture had a son, Shockwave never did. Twice he was denied a gift he wanted where Puncture had a gift he had …ruined.

Shockwave gives off a sick laugh, "I did learn something from my father and you: How to cut blights in my family out of my life."

Puncture tries to once more, "Shockwave… I…."

Shockwave is slipping away as the erratic beats become more chaotic, "NO! You listen to ME! He was at Karmashock's to ask him to be the godfather you would never be!" Shockwave's chest hitches this time in grief on the verge of crying, "He died thinking he completed his greatest mission by leaving me the most incredible legacy of love and," he sneers, "And proving you wrong."

He pushes off Wolfgang and tries to pull to a proud stance again, "He never needed you and I was a fool to pressure him to show you how much he had changed. He was right, he never needed your approval."

The sparklingless-widower feels himself faltering and plants a hand to the berth looking to the ceiling hoping his god could hear him one last time, "I'm sorry Megatron, I failed you yet again."

"Oh Shockwave…" Puncture actually feels for the mech who saw so much more in his son than he ever could and had been denied something so precious. The only thing he ever wanted in life. Yes, he was a fool and yes, he can never heal that. It just hurts so much knowing now he lost the only thing good left in Megatron's life.

"Be-gone," Shockwave turns his back on the mech that that sired his love and should have love him more than the mate. The one he should have encouraged parenthood in his changing son and now, he doesn't even have something biologically-tangible of his son left.

The dark hand reaches out for a last time but never makes it, because the pale blue spark rends further releasing such an agonizing scream that this great proud form crumbles to a heap at Wolfgang's pedes.

Shockwave hears the erratic beeps finally stabilize to one long tone before blackness overcomes him again.

~~8~~

Cole is pacing outside in the waiting room as Ratchet and Wolfgang work on the mech he cares so much for. Nothing could save his Karma. Nothing could save Shockwave's Megatron. There has to be a way to save Shockwave. Pacing he sees a Rabbi coming from one of the other rooms. He is from Wolfgang's Synagogue and thus comes over to see how one of his flock is doing. Seeing that Cole has his hands rung in agony, pulls him inside the universal chapel and away from the source of his agony.

"Does Primus care for half-droids even if he is an atheist?" Cole pleads then sinks his face into his hands. He just can't do this all over again. Even if Shockwave does survive this spark surgery, can he really allow himself to fall so deep for someone only to lose them in the blink of an optic…again. Maybe it was foolishly too soon to set his spark up for love again.

The warm hands wrap around Cole's and just gives him something tangible to hang onto even though his emotions and thoughts are all over the frig'n map. Cole tries to listen to the familiar words of the healing prayer.

~~8~~

Shockwave comes round this time to a warm hand making long smooth strokes to his antenna. From pivot to tip and back. His torso is heavy with sedation from his collar to just under his ribcage: numb to sensation and immobile from moving.

"Mummy?" he mutters. The sedation is messing with his head heavily and it's so tiring trying to swim through the slog to find the surface.

"Shhh Dearie, shhh."

'Dearie'? Okay this isn't his dear sweet Mum and the hands are too small to be his Megatron's. The comforting scent of an expensive perfume mixed with soft hands and a motherly tone has him all jacked up.

"How's he doing, Love?" a deep barrel of a fatherly-German accent is another wash of comfort to his emotions. It's not his father's for it has too much compassion and concern to it, let alone the accent. Actually, the accent is relaxing to his jumbled brain and emotions.

"Ugh," is all he can emit to let them know he has somewhat surfaced.

A soft paw cups the other antenna. Now he is sure these sedatives are going to embarrass him among these upper class bots. His father had engrained in him that an elite does not cry: EVER. Therefore he wasn't permitted. Lucky for him, being a half droid he was able to shove a lot aside. Except Megatron had taught him how to express them and savor them. They were not a sin, they were a precious gift. If anything, Megatron pulled Shockwave to express his.

"You gave us all quite a scare,… Son." The paw massages again.

'Son'. It wasn't said like he **has** to say it that way. No, there's a hesitation in it as if to ask for permission to use a Holy Title.

It's the last straw for the broken and rattled mech. He didn't cry when he beat the shit out of Seven for tainting Megatron's honor. He didn't cry when he cut the last living piece of Megatron from his life. He didn't even cry at Karmashock or Megatron's funerals. But this soft loving couple supported him in his raging outburst and now is trying to adopt him into their sparks and home at even his adult age. The tears slip out and he can do nothing to stop them. He doesn't sob but the tears do trickle down to his neck like a small stream.

"Love, I think we are hurting him, after all the antenna are highly sensitive."

Both hands start to leave and Shockwave's voice cracks, "No, please…." It's a whisper but they are so close they hear it.

Vicky takes a lilac hand and Shockwave does his best to crimp down on it. "Alright, Shockwave. But you have to take it easy. Not now, but later we will tell you how bad it is. Right now, just rest. We will leave you in peace."

She starts to leave, but Shockwave holds tight. Something cracks in his voice, "Don't… go. Please?" and turns his head towards the mech's voice. With this he can show them both how he is accepting their love.

"Just for a little bit, Shockwave. You need your rest," it's a soft order from both a trained medic and a good father.

As Shockwave drifts back under he hears Vicky tell Wolfgang, "I think it would be best if we take him home to recoup. It might do Cole some good, too."

"Alright. Shhhh, he needs to sleep." With a soft hum, Shockwave lets their soft hands caress his heavy head back to sleep.

Cole heard all this from his post at the door, but he's afraid. He cares for Shockwave so much, but he's just not sure he can do this again. For the first time, he understands exactly what Karma was trying to tell him about getting too committed. Slipping out of the room, he heads up to his office to bury himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**S & C 8**

Cole leaned against the window frame of his office watching the Sikorsky drone heavily away from the hospital carrying his patient. The smaller framed Life Flight Dauphin watches his father until just a speck in the distance. Maybe he's being a wimp, but he just doesn't know what to do any more.

Shockwave's outburst at Puncture seared his spark as well. Now he understood even more why Shockwave was so crushed that first night. He didn't just lose Megatron, he lost a new planned hope. Worse, Puncture had spit on the only thing Shockwave ever wanted in his life: Megatron's sparkling. Not his own; Megatron's. That last fight with Puncture had been like watching a patient rip open a carefully welded wound hoping to bleed to death.

Two things hurt: One, whatever he and Shockwave had shared was nothing but a placebo by Shockwave. Two, everything he and Shockwave had shared was cast away by Cole's own fears of a new relationship. Either way, whatever they had was wounded if not destroyed.

A third thought crashed into him: (a white fist bashes against the wall), yes, he is jealous of a ghost. Shockwave at least was bonded, while he never had been. NO! That's not fair to Karmashock. Once more Cole kicks himself and scrubs his haggard face filled with a cauldron of boiling emotions. "This is stupid! I have no time for this!"

His own healing wound over Karmashock's death has been torn open and acid poured into it as Shockwave wished to die.

Parts of younger mech are numb. Parts of him are screaming in pain. Parts of him are lusting for Shockwave's arms. Parts of him are crying for Karmashock's. Parts of him are angry with Megatron, parts of him are angry with himself for being angry at the dead hero tank. It's like someone has taken the whole thesaurus of emotions, dumped them in a shredder and then shoved them into his chest. He can't define them, separate them or even think clearly at times. He wants Shockwave but he doesn't. He wants himself back, but then can't stand … to feel. It hurts being numb. It's killing him to be in love with a ghost and one who still love his dead mate.

With a kick to the wall, shoves away from the window and heads back to the Intensive Care Ward of his rein. At least now when he makes his rounds he doesn't have to avoid Shockwave's room. That golden optic following him from his med-berth as the red one strode by the glassed window and tried not to turn while his spark beat the shit out of him for ignoring the aching lonely one.

Cole knew it would be all too easy to go to him and slip in where he doesn't belong. Maybe he didn't belong within Shockwave's life. Maybe he doesn't want Shockwave in his. It hurts too much to think of falling in love again.

Maybe that first night with Shockwave had been a huge mistake.

With Shockwave out of the hospital, he can take himself off the extended on-call flight lists. For he knows the exhaustion is not helping his tumbling emotions. With Shockwave out of the hospital and recuperating at in his parent's home, he can take refuge here.

So he thought. By the end of the week, a knock comes to his office door. "I'm busy." He tries to shove his father away again.

The door is overridden and pushed open. The red medic who enters is not whom he expected, "Busy, good." Cole looks up to the weathered older veteran medic as he boldly steps in, closing and locking the door behind himself.

There is a mug and a small sealed vial he sets onto the top of Cole's files before heading over to the couch. Ratchet stalls taking note of the five worn white coats tossed into the corner of the room and then the pillow and hospital blanket on the couch.

While Ratchet folds up the blanket, Cole picks up the vial. He knows it is sealed never to be opened. Much like when a sparkling has something removed that a parent wants to keep as a memento. This one is black on top and bottom, not to be looked at either. He is curious but sets it aside picking up the mineral-boosted Energon. Ratchet's special blend for doctors on his naughty over-worked list. Cole knows better than to ignore it and takes a large swallow. The stuff is hideous for the palate but good for the body.

The desk jiggles as the battered and weathered pedes of the old Praxian kick up to the lip of the desk. "Been home yet?"

Cole looks down to his desk, "I have stuff to do."

"Cut the bullshit, Cole. I'm three times older than you and served in a war and battle politicians before you were even sparked so if you think you can pull the fleece over my optics, try again."

To counter that, Cole picks up the black container, "What's this?"

Ratchet takes a swallow from his own mug, "Not how it works, Flyboy, now answer the question: When were you last home?"

Cole's no idiot, Ratchet wants to know if he has seen Shockwave. "I called, he was sleeping."

The older helm cants, "And?"

Cole shrugs and turns back to his work, "I got busy."

"I can have your license pulled. I have ways put you on suspension. I can clip your tail feathers."

Cole glares at him peeved that he would dare interfere, "Do it. I'll just go off world." Ratchet holds his green glare in a staring contest. The older one has played this game with many verses the younger one is pretty serious in his resolve.

Finally Ratchet pushes, "Explain that to your parents."

Cole purses his lips and clenches down on his spark, "I'm a grown mech, I can do as I please."

Ratchet drops the pedes to lean forward, "Really, because you certainly are acting like a coward."

Cole turns away from the one who has served, saved and lost so many already. He picks up the vial again trying to imagine what the respected doctor brought him while swallowing down the still jumbling emotions. "Maybe I am."

"Cole, he needs you. I don't know what is going on between you two, but from what I heard, he was looking better and moving forward with life when you two started spending time together. I know I'm not Karmashock, but I could find someone else if you want-"

"Please just leave me alone," he hands the vial back to the doctor not wanting anything he is offering.

Ratchet takes the white palm and slaps the vial back into it, "Put that with Megatron's remains."

Cole stares at the vial and sinks. Oh Primus not again. "no…." His chest pain is for Shockwave. Just as his worry had been for Karmashock when Violex was injured.

Ratchet leans forward and grips his own chevron. "He doesn't know. He doesn't need to know. Hell, he probably already knew! It doesn't matter, what's done is done."

Cole stares at the vial. "Still after a couple of lunar cycles there was…remains?"

"Megatron was a tenacious jealous bastard, you don't seriously think that his DNA-spawn will let go of anything he cared for so easily? No. It's probably part of what caused Shockwave's spark-attack along with the emotional backwash. Whoever the butcher was that handled the first D & C really did a number on Shockwave's gestational receptors. He's lucky he got any kind of a connection a second time and yes, it was just the beginning, but still, it was enough to …" Ratchet is pretty torn up himself. "Shit they didn't deserve this." He looks back up to Cole, "Nor did you two."

Cole is starting to put some of it together and yet grateful that Ratchet is acknowledging his own loss. He shakes the container lightly. It rattles. Rattles?

Ratchet lifts his head full of sorrow. "The receptors were just so damaged with corrosion that they were actually … killing him. It was causing his spark to misfire and the pulses weren't doing their job properly."

He did notice at certain times of Shockwave's excitement he would cringe but he never said anything. Cole swallows hard looking into the vial. Shockwave will never be able to carry a sparkling again with all the receptors removed. "D-does he know?"

Ratchet nods, "Of course." Now the real reason for the visit comes out, "Cole, he really needs a friend right now. You're the closest thing he's got."

The younger medic sets the vial aside and then turns back to his notes, "I'm not good company right now."

"Like he is? He's alone, again." Ratchet leans up and into Cole's face, "You have no idea what the solitude of holding Cybertron safe for Megatron did to him. The mech nearly went insane. It's probably what started the damage to his spark chamber."

Cole's chest begins to cringe, "Please Ratchet, don't ask me to do this."

Ratchet grabs the little one's chin and jerks it, "Now you listen to ME. That mech has done more for this planet and that single mech than two Armies EVER could! I wish I could order you to take care of him, but I can't. I -I…can't..."

The old mech's chin wobbles and tries once more, "I can't watch him slowly wither away after everything he has done good for this place. He may be just a half-droid who will out live all of us but damn-it, shouldn't they be good vorns?"

Cole's spark sinks watching those weathered old optics plead with him. Clearly there is something deeper going on with Ratchet. The hand loosens and the younger medic pulls back silently asking for more information. "As much as I can take credit for Megatron's physical surgery, it was Shockwave and Karmashock that really healed that mech. As much as I hated the war, in a way Megatron had a point to it." He bonks a fist to the couch arm rest, "I know Shockwave isn't Megatron, but I really do have a great respect for him. He did a lot of good for Cybertron and it would be a great loss to Her and unfair to both of them for him to give up now."

Cole takes a deep breath getting a better understanding for the medic who actually repaired his own soldiers from Shockwave and Megatron's ordered strikes. Already Cole had a respect for Ratchet, considering their field of practice, but for the old mech to see past war-titles (where many still can't) it makes him even more humble. So he chooses his words carefully and softly, "Ratchet, I'm afraid I might do more damage than good right now."

"What do you mean by that?" Ratchet is no old fool, there is a huge reason Cole is refusing to see Shockwave.

The white exasperated hand slaps to the desktop and turns a shaking look back, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a little messed up myself and the last thing he needs right now is another messed up mech in his life. One was enough, he deserves better."

Ratchet blinks and more or less orders him to go on.

"You tell me how I should react when someone I was really starting to care quite deeply about just up and says they would rather die and be with their past love than…."

That does make the more experienced mech sink back to the couch and Cole looks away only to have his optics fall on the vial. He picks it up and soothes it. "I know he has only ever been in love with Megatron and what they shared was pretty deep and intensely passionate. I can not compete with that."

"Cole, what you had with Karmashock was pretty special too, don't forget that."

The green optics turn to the blue ones. "Puncture told Shockwave they should have taken it as a sign from Primus to never propagate. How many broken relationships do I need to have to hear Primus telling me I should always be alone?" His hand closes around the vial as he stands. "Excuse me, I have rounds to make."

Ratchet's hand snags out and catches the wrist, "Have you even talked?"

"We talked and drank ourselves right into a berth together," he shamefully admits. "You and I both know that doesn't make a solid relationship."

The hand doesn't let go although he is surprised, "That's not what I asked. I asked, have you talked. More specifically about IT."

"What do you want me to say to him?! 'Your bondmate was a real hero! He killed the love of my life trying to save him and I'm pissed at him for that!' How do you think Shockwave is going to feel about that?"

"Damn-it Cole, he KNOWS. How do you think he feels?"

"Ratchet, I don't even know how I feel right now. I can't decided if I'm still in love with Karma and using Shockwave or if I really have deep feelings for him. I really don't have time to figure out his own emotions let alone how angry he is with Puncture's arrogance and now this!" he shakes the vial.

"Cole, he can still seed a sparkling. His transmitting rods are fine, just the receptors were fried and removed," he pushes out hope.

Cole brings both fist to his temple and growls, "Stop it Ratchet, just stop it! Don't throw that at me, too." Before Ratchet can say another word, Cole is out the door and pacing his halls.

It finally hits that he needs to take a real break when a nurse double checks his order where he marked 28 rather than 2.8 for the phosphorus drip… for the second time today. He hands her the pen, and turns aside. Dropping by the nurse's station, he moves his magnet to the out box for the first time in over a week. A mixture of smiles and sighs of relief watch him take the roof top exit. From there he flips to his alt-mode and flies back home.

Inside the stale smelling building, he tears off his armor leaving it a messy trail before sliding into his hot water shower. At that point he sinks to the floor bowed over. He lets the water beat into a rotor that once had lilac tips digging into it to make him moan out the sweetest elite mech's name in all of Cybertron. Before that, it had been touched by the most endearing white tips of a devoted and delightfully-fun loving mech. The best mech he ever had in his life…. And will never see again. He's too tired and tired of crying. Instead he just lays there and pounds his fist into the puddles hoping the pain in his fist will over ride the one in his spark and head.

He knows he needs to see Shockwave and figure out what they will do, because he can't live in this unknowing turbulence of emotions any more. Time to face the music, but just not tonight.

When the water runs cold, even though he used no soap, he reaches up and slaps it off. Grabbing his robe, wraps it around himself and drags himself into his berth top. Too tired to even pull the coverings aside, he just lays there. From there, slips into a stasis so deep, it could almost be considered a coma.

All this time Cole has been sequestering himself behind other patients, medical journals, and reasons to fly anywhere but near his parent's estate; a healing blue spark found itself treasured away. A guilded cage.

Wolfgang brought him softly back to his own loving home and with aid of his ground's keeper, up to a second story guest room. Unfortunately for Shockwave, the primary view from his room was towards another house on the property. A home he had been in just recently. A home that he knows is empty right now.

Carefully Shockwave rolls to his side so that he is looking at a blank wall rather than Cole's home. This is a beautiful manor to which he has been brought into to recuperate, it's just sad that Cole won't speak to him.

The genius doesn't have much to do right now while following Dr. Ratchet and Dr. Wolfgang's orders to take it easy while his spark learns to recalibrate it's firings. It won't be long and he can get the monitor off, but until then, he can't get upset and trigger their response.

Both Vicky and the staff give the private mech his peace but also make sure he is eating his meals and try to bring him stimulating conversation and news, but they all know:

Shockwave and Cole need each other. Shockwave's just too much of a gentlemech to ask for him and Cole is busy at work.

With a huffing sigh, Shockwave knows that isn't really the case. Cole is hiding behind his work. It doesn't take a genius to know that (having done himself a time or two) but still it bugs Shockwave to no end as to why Cole won't even call him on the phone after he's been here for nearly a week. What has happened to **them?**

Olga comes to the kitchen with the nearly untouched tray and sighs sadly. Vicky is starting her preparations for dinner when the sad house keeper arrive.

"Lady Vicky, he just won't touch his meals anymore. I'm getting worried about him. He won't speak any more either. He just sits there on the balcony and stares off to the south. He doesn't look anywhere else. I think we're losing him again. What are we going to do?"

Pondering, she hears a familiar thumping sound in the air up above. Her son is finally coming home after nearly week in his self made seclusion. The Lady of the Manor smiles boldly, "Time to call out the big guns. Go get your mate, Olga."

~~8~~

Cole's not sure how long he slept, but a light knock at the back door brings him around. "Dr. Cole?"

Maxwell, the grounds keeper, is softly calling. Cole slides out of the berth and groggily heads to the door tightening his robe. It's not like Maxwell hasn't seen him in less, after all, the mech was here before he was born. He used to run around the back yard through the sprinklers with Maxwell's own sparklings.

With a flick, the door is opened with a yawn, "Hello, Maxwell."

The dark mech flushes, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but Lady Vicky ordered me to."

Cole rests his groggy head against the door frame and sighs just as heavily. Maxwell and his mate Olga (main house keeper) call her Lady Vicky out of respect not out of force. When the last war started, Wolfgang and Victrola -owners of a much large piece of property than what they currently have- gathered as many sparklings as they could. Like a Lord and Lady Knights of the past, they felt it their duty to protect the residents of this area of land. Yes they still worked at the hospital as neutrals, but they relinquished much property as payment in order to hold this as a sanctuary. Therefore, both armies tried their best to leave this place off limits in their scuffles and battles.

Thus after the war ended, the new counsel let them retain their family plot, albeit much smaller. Still the couple is quiet wealthy but don't over flaunt it nor do they hide it. They are highly respected members of both the social and the religious community and their own staff.

"What does she want this time?" Cole's optics sink closed. It's not a true gruff to his mother just that he wants to curl back up into his berth and decompose.

"It's almost sun down and you know how Lady Vicky is about the Sabbath."

Cole grimaces, shit is it really that day of the cyber week already? "Yes, I know." His mother forbids any of the staff to work after sundown to sunrise of the allotted Holy Day of Rest. She even fired one maid for working over time! She will not have Primus on her conscience for that!

Maxwell takes a deep sigh, "She asks that you come help with Mr. Shockwave at the main house. He's in the hot tub right now and …"

Cole raises his hand cutting him off. Yeah, the son can feel his mother's sly set up to getting the two mechs talking to each other again. "I knew I shouldn't have left the hospital."

Maxwell's shoulders fall. "Dr. Cole, it's not just your parents that worry about you. Olga and I are concerned as well. You haven't even touched Olga's baklava she made just for you." He flicks a finger to kitchen island and the beautiful sweets artfully hand made just for him.

Pressing his forehelm to the frame, the helm curls and looks. Damn, those are delicious. Olga's baklava are to die for. "Please give her my apologies."

Maxwell is careful with his words, but states, "Maybe you can tell her yourself when you relieve her from Mr. Shockwave's side so I can take her home."

Cole slumps again, "Of course. I'll be there in a moment." As much as he does not want to see Shockwave, he owes it to this couple to have a day off and his sneaky devious mother KNOWS it. Damn, that femme could have been a first class Decepticon sly operator. Hell, she probably was!

"One more thing, Lady Vicky said to wear your trunks."

Medic's cross still pressed to the door frame, Cole turns his narrowing optics to the grounds keeper. Innocently the mech raises his hands, "Don't kill the messenger."

"Does the Hippocratic oath apply to parents?" He grouses. No he would never actually hurt his mother but she does just knows how to get under his armor. Telling him to wear his swim wear so he can relax with Shockwave in the hot tub is going just a bit too far.

"Cole, she is already hurting," Maxwell does lay a hand on the young mech's shoulder. After all he was the one to bandage Cole's knee when he scrapped it all up trying to climb a wall when he was six.

The pristine hand lays over the worn hard one. "Go take your mate home, I'm on my way."

Armored up, minus the blades, plus the baklava in hand, Cole makes his way across the path to the main house. One doesn't want to sit in a pool of revitalizing liquid minerals in their main armor yet wants to remain decent, therefore a Cybertronians would cover themselves in something different thus leaving the true armor dry for afterwards. Still, it's hard enough that he needs to face the honorable purple mech let alone with both of them nearly naked?

Healing or not, that violet snowy mech has a gorgeous form. The younger one looks down at himself; he unfortunately has a bit of his father's pudg and not so taught-toned body. Short like his mother doesn't help much either. He's not really ready to expose himself again to Shockwave physically or his frazzled emotions.

Still, defying his mother's request is a stupid idea any day of the week, twice over on this night. With a deep sigh, he looks to iron gate near the kitchen entry. He can hear the soft hum of the motor making bubbles in the hot tub even though he can't see the mech in it.

"Cole-dear, is that you?"

Yes she know it is, calling just loud enough for the soaking mech to know as well. Cole purses his lips and pushes the door open. He does not hate her, he never could, so he leans over gives her a kiss on the cheek as she cuts the crust off the last two sandwiches on a tray. He pulls back and she plunks the craft of juice down between the crystal and china.

"Nurse's orders, both of you WILL eat this all, do you hear me?" The tray has enough food on it to feed a division of medics.

"Yes, Ma'am," is all he answers adding Olga's gift and pick up the tray.

Before he can pull away though, she grabs both of his cheeks and looks deep into his dark optics. "I worry about you."

"I know, Mom, I'm sorry."

She stokes the dark circles under his optics, "I want you happy again." To that he can only nod and head to the pool side.

It takes him a moment to get the gate open, but he manages and then closes it, setting the tray to the table beside a chair holding a fluffy purple robe. Olga has already left, making sure to have and extra towel ready for Cole.

Cole pours two crystal tumblers with mineral filled Energon and steps out to the hot tub edge. Shockwave is taken back seeing Cole extending a tumbler.

"Mothers…," Cole whispers shaking his head as Shockwave takes the tumbler.

Shockwave tips his tumbler back clinking to Cole's, "To mothers and their worries."

Cole can't drink though. Right before him is a surgically bruised chest of a damaged spark chamber that lost it's carrying ability and more. Shockwave lost his chance at motherhood. Once more a reminder…

"Shit, I shouldn't be here," he slams his tumbler down on the bench and turns only to be caught by a fierce wet grip. It's a lot stronger than he thought possible, still with a twist of his wrist, he's out of the slick palm.

"Cole!" Shockwave calls, the dry one stops but doesn't turn. "Talk to me, please?"

"What are we doing?" Cole mutters.

"Will you at least look at me?" the question comes out like a half order-half plea. Slowly Cole does turns and looks at the beaten one. As much turmoil and grief Shockwave has been through, its Cole's face that seems to bear it.

"I think I'm in love with you but I can't tell and it hurts…a lot."

Instead of being shocked, embarrassed or even angry, Shockwave extends his hand again. "Please, sit with me. I really think we need to talk."

Cole steps back and sits on the bench out of his reach, Shockwave's antenna frown. "I can see your trunks hanging out of your armor, won't you join me?"

The younger mech takes a deep breath and figures it's time to be honest, "Shockwave, you are very attractive, you know that?"

The cheeks turn darker, "You're not half bad yourself, Cole." Now it's the other cheeks that darken. Shockwave inches his finger out again asking Cole to join him. "I don't do spoiled lavishness alone, alright? I'll get out if I have to, but it's really comfortable in here."

Cole nods into the soft request and begins to pull away his armor, "You know I could just shove you under and that could solve all my problems."

Shockwave chuckles, "Oh? And how would you explain that to your mother whilst you were on night watch?"

Cole throws the last piece down and scowls at the house guest, "Do you have an answer for everything, genius?"

"No." Shockwave waits until the checkered fabric is sunk in the hot liquid before responding, "Like why are you avoiding me?"

Cole sits down and folds his knees up to his chest. Where to start? Where to end? The hot water is so soothing that even though he is tucked up, he feels his muscles unwinding to the point that it just slips out, "I'm really mad at Megatron."

Shockwave slumps back against the rim of the tub with a thump. His head clunks back against the rim so his face is looking at the sky and his arms fully extend along two sides of the stone tub. "Thank Primus!"

"Excuse me?" The shocked green optics stare at the reclined widower.

Shockwave rolls his head languidly from side to side, "I'm so pissed at him, too." Cole says nothing just to agape to move. After that passionate speech he gave Puncture, he just can not believe Shockwave is mad at Megatron.

The purple helm rises a bit, "Oh please, like you aren't just a little bit ticked at Karmashock's honor and self sacrificing personality leaving you in this agony?"

A small smile starts to come out, "Well… I hadn't quite thought about it that way, but now that you mention it, yeah maybe….a little."

A lilac hand slips under the water and reaches over to grasp the white one to lend his support this time. "I think it's time we had it out."


	9. Chapter 9

**S & C 9**

art/Transference-Page-20-359371397 Reverence to height and interaction.

Musical muse: Heart Ache with you every moment: HIM

Cole squeezes Shockwave's hand right back. When the larger one starts to pull back, Cole doesn't. That brings the golden orb to look at the one biting his lip.

"I need to ask you something…." but he doesn't continue.

"Cole, I trust you, you can ask. I don't trust my feelings let alone chose my, erm, companions frivolously," scratches at an antenna.

"Or do you trust me just because they died together?" Cole lets go and looks down to his lap bringing his hands together.

Carefully Shockwave leans closer to the soaking medic but Cole turns his head to reach over and get his tumbler from the bench. Before he can bring it to his lips, Shockwave is on his knees of the tub, wrapping his hand around the other's so he looks into his optic and not hide away again. He is so close his torso is touching Cole's fabric covered hip. Cole can feel Shockwave's spark beat and as much as he is grateful that it is strong and at a regular beat, its just a reminder of his unasked question.

"Cole, stop. What is it?"

Shockwave lets go of the hand to give Cole a little bit of space, but does not back down on his gaze. If anything, his cheeks are darkening looking at Cole nearly undressed and within kissing distance. It would be all too easy to kiss him into oblivion after hearing what he confessed earlier and burn away all questions of his feelings, but curiosity is over riding his desires.

"Cole…."

That soft English lit to his name makes his throat slowly swallow. He notices Shockwave watching it work too. Oh Primus Shockwave is such a gentlemech. 'He's literally fucking gorgeous,' Cole flushes as his tumbler clunks to the edge. The now empty white hand comes up and softly touches the bruised chest. Luckily dealing with patients is his advantage this time. The bruising is nearly gone, and soon enough the patient will be able to get his body fully toned the way he likes. Shockwave watches as two of Cole's soft finger tips touch the ugly coloring to his chest and then a bit closer to the circle that holds his spark. At the center, Cole stops and both mechs are looking at the tips.

"Did it really hurt so much that you truly wanted to die after everything we…," his fingers begin to tremble ever so slightly on the violet chest. For a medic, he always has a steady hand, but for a lover (or not) he's a nervous wreck.

Shockwave slowly brings his hand over Cole's and keeps it pressed there. His other hand cups the back of his savior's helm and presses it to his actual healing spark. Not a metaphor this time: His spark really was damaged and Cole really did get him help. On top of that, he stood by as his spark literally tore it's self apart and he died. Technically, he was dead for a few moments as he flat lined.

"Oh Primus Cole, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lose you too. How careless of me after everything…. I'm so so sorry. I didn't…think."

Cole just lets Shockwave console him by letting those creative fingers pull his helm to the sore chest. As the fingers massage in to his proud neck, Shockwave presses his face into Cole's noble helm. "Cole…" he breathes the name as if afraid he will never get to say it again and the soft mech will slide right out of his slippery grasp.

The younger mech's arms slide around the snowy waist and snuggles in. "If this constant fear is what it means to be in love, I don't blame you for wanting to leave."

"Shhh, we'll figure this out."

Among the bubbling warm water, the hands run up and down the spines soothing and holding on the present. This is what they started with that night. This is what really draws them together. Losing this connection is not something either of them wants to face.

"I begged you not to lead me on. I begged you not to toy with me. I never expected to be honestly jealous of him taking you away from me." With that he draws his hands from Shockwave's back and to his sides. With ever so gentle pressure, pushes himself out of Shockwave's arms. "Look, I'm pretty messed up right now. I told Ratchet I should not be here. Easily I can fall for you, if it's not already too late," he gives a soft laugh that Shockwave does not find funny. "I'm so screwed up that I'm in love with two mechs at the same time and jealous of a third."

"Cole-" he tries once more, but Cole shakes his head and rises to sit on the edge of the tub.

"I'm not trying to go bi-polar on you. You need someone stable and sure footed in your life I just don't know if that person is me anymore."

He turns to lift his leg out of the tub but finds the way blocked by a hand on either side of his checkered hips and a hot breath making it's way to face him, "You teased me about being a Commander, then fine, listen to me Medic. I do Command my own life now. My Lord and Master are gone, that makes me master of my own destiny, correct?"

Once more Cole nods encouraging Shockwave to continue. "You have no idea how much I was afraid for Megatron. He was a Warlord for Primus sake with a backstabbing bastard for a Second in Command, if that doesn't put enough of a target on his helm. Then we bond and I watched him drink himself into oblivion while I stood by forgotten in the shadows. I WATCHED him try to kill himself while taking his mother's life, Cole! I understand exactly what you meant a moment ago, you experienced EXACTLY what I had. I'm kicking myself that I was so hell bent on my wrath and grief that I forgot all you and I have been building." With a heavy breath, moves his hand to cup Cole's cheek, "For a genius, I'm pretty stupid. Please forgive me, Cole."

Cole finds himself unable to speak just listening to this wonderfully empathic mech before him. Then Shockwave has to go and caress his cheek?

"I apologize, I was a fool. It will not happen again, I promise you." The golden optic is pleading for the lovely form before him not to slip right out of his life.

Cole's spark and is hammering in his chest screaming at him not to let go. The brain is scattered all over the map trying to decide if it's fight or flight time. Both hands lay flat to the snowy belly that is softer than the last time he lay with it. Sliding his hands up again they hold to either side of the bruise.

"What did you do when he tried to die?"

Shockwave actually chuckles. That surprises and confuses Cole even more, so the larger hand slips from the soft cheek to the sweet chin lifting it until the hurt green optics face the single warm one. "I ran. I hid. I trembled. I thought I had lost everything."

Cole flushes, for that is exactly what he was feeling too and Shockwave knows it.

With another nervous swallow, Cole asks the next question, "And what did he do?"

Shockwave presses himself closer causing Cole's thighs to part around his purple and golden-spotted trunks. The larger arm encompasses the thick waist bringing them belly to belly. With a whisper, Shockwave shows his feelings, "He pursued me and refused to let me go. I was the best part of his life… a reason for him to live."

Cole knows he is trapped not just by Shockwave's arms but his deep feelings. "Greedy bastard." The last two words anyone would ever use to describe this mech but definitely fits his dead mate. "Takes whatever he wants."

Shockwave knows that was meant for the ghost. "Um-hum, well you know Decepticons," after all Cole had saved Autobots, Neutrals, and Decepticons alike. "Tenacious bastards."

Cole likes this teasing deep warmth Shockwave is showing him. Karmashock always loved to laugh and tease. Shockwave's sense of humor might be different that the lighter mech's, but for Cole to be the one to bring light warm to both lives certainly is one of his strengths.

The soft emerald optics fall to where his fingers play with the sensitive area around the blue medically-sealed spark chamber. There will be no bonding for him any time soon, even if he was ready to. Still, Shockwave is warming and humming into the soft tingling amorous touches.

"Crazy 'Cons think they own the whole damn planet or something," Cole nervously teases back even though there is an honor and a touch of sorrow to his tone.

As if holding a piece of hand blown glass, Shockwave lifts that chin again, "I would do it again if you asked me."

Cole feels himself leaning into Shockwave's dipping face, "And I would never ask you to." A clear sign of the difference between himself and Megatron's devotion to this same mech.

Whatever Cole was going to think next was swallowed by Shockwave's crushing kiss. "I don't deserve a noble mech like you," before he plunges in again to keep Cole from countering his admission.

Cole's delicate fingers are crushed between their swelling sparks. As deep and needy as this kiss is, it is not erotic. This is a need to cling to the living hope and not let another opportunity slip away. The fear is not ignored, it's just comforted for a moment. Shockwave wraps his arms around Cole so tightly, his own chest begins to hurt but he doesn't care one bit for he knows the pain is external muscles not internal damage.

As hungry as their souls are to cling to each other and using these kisses to feed them, their bodies have other needs. Cole's stomach rumbles, Shockwave's kiss stalls but doesn't pull back. Before either can say anything, Shockwave's stomach answers.

"Now you're speaking my family's language," Cole lets a hand slips down to Shockwave's not as taught belly. "Mom says the universe's problems could be better solved at a dinner table."

A deep laugh rumbles from the mech who was 'right hand bot' to a faction leader. "She just might be right." With a second grumble from both, they separate. Shockwave can smell something good and thumbs to the kitchen. "I thought she wasn't supposed to work on the Sabbath?"

Cole rises and swings his legs out of the tub, "Cooking is not work to her. It's a solace thus, we NEVER go hungry on the Holy Days. If anything, we explode." For that he pats his slight pudgy belly and reaches for the robes.

Shockwave, reaches out to snake his arm around Cole's waist throwing him off balance so he almost falls back into the water. With a squeak, he finds Shockwave's face buried in his slightly round belly and kissing it. "Don't you dare change for me. I like you just the way you are."

It's Cole's turn to tip the other's chin up blushing, "And you call me the noble one."

Shockwave slips his hand down and cups the slightly fabric covered soft aft, "Cole, you are a helo-bot, not a hard tank nor a tiny motor bike. You are perfect the way you are."

"Oh hell! That's it! I know I'm in love now," Cole throws his hands up in mock disgusted surrender.

"Not until you have tried my lasagna you aren't," he smirks his antenna back glad that Cole is laughing again.

The red and white one steps closer and pans his hands over both antenna pivots, "Is that a promise?"

"Yes, it is, and then some." The violet helm leans into the warm touch. Cole accepts the promise of a relationship with the older mech and steps back holding Shockwave's robe up for him so they can get to their dinner.

After their meal of the perishables while swathed in fluffy warm robes, they take the rest up to Shockwave's room for the morning. For there is no way that even two starving mechs could eat all that and certainly don't want to disappoint the Lady of the Manor's hospitality (or endure her scowls).

They settle down to the berth and snuggle up together for a movie. Half way through:

"Oh please!" The soft white hand lifts from the helm antenna he was soothing to flop down upon the naked violet shoulder in a huff. "That mech would be dead if you put that much copper into his system that fast."

A soft chuckle from his lap lift's the flyer's spark before he huffs again to the actor-medic slicing into an accident victim that would actually cause more harm than good in the real world. "Sorry."

Shockwave rotates his helm and reaches for Cole's hand again so he can rub the trained tips, "No need to apologize to me. That shuttle engine never really would have exploded like that"

A smile spreads wide over his face, "Really?"

The tired violet helm shuffles in it's lap-pillow and rolls fully to his back while bending at the knees, planting his pede flats to the berth, "Um-hum. Well then again, the pretty piece of crap never would have made it through Venus' stratosphere."

Cole's optics light up like a geek with a new book, "Tell me more. I find this fascinating."

Now it's Shockwave's optic that goes wide, "Honestly? I don't want to destroy the story line for you."

"It was blown the second they released the viral toxin. It never would have spread that fast or done anything near like THAT."

Pulling the white hand closer to his face, Shockwave's optic gives a smirk, "That's it, I'm in love."

Cole chuckles this time to the teasing reply. "Why, because I nit pick a movie?"

Still relaxed with his helm in Cole's lap pressed against his softer form he confesses, "Megatron hated when I would get all analytical about a movie. He said I destroyed the fun of it."

Cole sniggers, "Karma said something much the same. I tried to tell him that if the consultant doesn't at least have a DDS before his name, I would be severely disappointed in wasting my time."

Chuckling warmly yet feeling no pain in his chest from the movement, Shockwave is finally feeling that safe comfort coming back. Finally he is getting his Cole back. That's right, HIS Cole. Not the one Karmashock shared a life with, the one Shockwave was drawing close to and looking forward to seeing over and over again.

Too relaxed to move more, Shockwave soothes that hand again, "Looks like we were meant to be, hum?"

Cole's smile slips to a warm grateful one and gives that hand a squeeze, "I like that, Shockwave…. I like us."

"I like us, too." What isn't said is anything about their past lovers and friends, just focusing on them alone as close companions. They curl a little close together.

Within a few minutes, they become like young nerd-mechlings at a slumber party snacking and giggling over detailed science talk. Outside the door Wolfgang is pulling his tearing up mate into his arms. He can't help but feel a little misty himself hear the sound of his son's laughter. For quite a while now, he thought he was losing his Cole, but this twin-laughter is making his old spark sparkle again.

"I don't think those boys will be going with us tomorrow," Wolfgang tugs his mate on to their own room.

She leans into him and sighs happily, "Darling, Primus won't care. He hears a song right now."

Sure enough the next morning, and against Wolfgang's scowl, "They aren't ten vorn olds!" Victrola slowly squeaks the door open just so she can check on 'the boys'. Wolfgang can't help but peek over the shoulder and daw himself at the sight, though.

There is Shockwave front down sound asleep with his helm still in Cole's blanket covered lap. Some time during the night, Cole's leg has pulled halfway out and Shockwave's hand cup to the calf like a sparkling might hold onto a stuffed toy.

Cole on the other hand, has slumped over on his side with his head on Shockwave' shoulders, one loose hand still around an antenna. Both of them are sound-sound asleep, someone is even slightly snoring.

With a tug to her arm, Wolfgang releases 'the boys' from her watchful gaze. Cole comes out of his sleep hearing the door squeak shut. He nuzzles into the sleep-warmed form beneath him who returns the attention with a soft hum of his own.

"Megatron?" is hummed.

Cole's spark sinks for a moment until the form rolls his helm over and slowly brings his optic online. From there, the antenna lean back and 'smiles' nuzzling into Cole's belly, "Mmm, morning Cole."

Cole has to lift himself to look over the shoulder and down to the mech still somewhat snuggled and yet tangled in the berth with him. "Sleep well?"

"First time I have slept on my front in …I don't know how long." Cole's mouth opens to ask the question, but Shockwave cuts him off, "Shh, I'm fine." Raising his lovely violet helm, he slides his hand up from the leg to the waist and pulls.

Even a bit groggy, not quite up to full strength, and in an awkward position; he tugs. Cole squeaks and finds himself on his right side, face to face with Shockwave laying on his left. "Mmm, much better."

Cole just smiles and helps shove the pillows around and adjust the blankets so both are truly comfortable. A white hand reaches out and strokes the violet cheek. "I don't think it will bother me anymore when you wake up saying his name."

Shockwave nods, "It won't bother me if you say his and cling to me in the night."

The younger one nods but makes his hands a little slower in caressing his cheek. "Will you tell me how you found out? I know I told you mine but then again you weren't ready to tell me your side at the time and now I understand why."

Shockwave's throat tightens a couple of times before he says, "Cole, I have a request of you."

"Of course, Shockwave. What ever it is, I will do my best to honor it."

Shockwave covers that hand on his cheek and slips his fingers between them. "Don't ever leave me a handwritten note on paper and leave on my pillow while you head off."

"Oooooo….Shockwave…."


	10. Chapter 10

**Zweite Liebe 10**

I_ A knock on the door downstairs pulls the audios to online, yet there is no way this melting form wants to move answer it. No, he slides his hand over the magenta sheets to beg his lover not to move either. He just wants to bury himself into that massive orb of golden love and feel it's vermilion pools bathe him all over again in their desire. _

_To his disappointment, he finds no silver hot form. In fact the sheets are cold._

_Another knock to the door, only this time a bit harder and a voice, "Please, Shockwave, I *choke* need to talk to you. It's important."_

_Prowl asking for him specifically and Megatron not answering the door to send him away? That's not a good sign._

_Shockwave raises himself up, Prowl can wait a moment until he gets himself decent. That's when the paper on Megatron's pillow comes into view._

_b _**'**_**Sleep my gorgeous beauty for when I return I will more than make sure our mission is successful. I will not be gone long. I will probably be back before you even awaken with your favorite vice. I love you very much but can not wait to ask Karmashock to be godfather to our heir. I must do this in person, I know you will understand why. **_

_**So lay your angelic helm back down and stay put. I want to find you in our berth waiting for me when I return. Wait for me. I'm coming home to you.' /b**_

_There's no need to sign it and he didn't. Instead he left a swift sketch of his sleepy Shockwave cuddling a bundled sparking to his side with Megatron watching over them both._

_Shockwave's blue spark flutters seeing that Megatron has used his precious art paper to scrawl him a love note-order and a swift sketch of his deepest desires: a family. After what that idiot of a father said to him early this morning, it's so warming to see it didn't destroy Megatron's dream. If anything, it has fueled him into action even going so far to ask Karmashock to be the additional fatherly influence in their sparkling's life._

_The lilac hand pulls the note to his chest breathing in the scent of his lover's hand._

_Well that is until there is that pounding on the door once more. "Shockwave, PLEASE." That's right, Prowl is pleading._

"_One moment please!" The purple homeowner calls back rising to snap on key pieces of his armor. Sabatons and gauntlets can wait, but torso and thighs can not._

_Finally the front door is open. "Yes Prowl, what is it? Megatron is not here."_

"_I-" the chief of police actually coughs as if to clear a large chunk of his emotions from his throat. His voice goes very soft and he hands the lanyard of keys over, "I know."_

_Shockwave takes his mate's keys but cants his helm ever so curious, "I don't understand."_

"_May I please come in, you probably need to sit down." The former Autobot is actually being respectful and not such a jerk this time._

_Shockwave can feel something tingling in the back of his spine. Something hollow and dark is trying to steal his spark. His hand grips the door frame, "No. You better explain to me right now."_

_Bounty hunters are nothing new to the former commanders. That he can deal with, in fact has. Prowl would be acting differently if that was the case and Megatron was at the hospital or in jail. There is something VERY bad going on, he can taste it in the air. If Megatron had snapped into Megatronous again Prowl would be a bit more arrogant and brusque to being right and shoving it right at the former Loyal Decepticon. _

_Prowl pushes the issue dropping to an even soft tone, "Please Shockwave, you really need to sit down."_

_The hand slaps to the door frame and the antenna perk high, "No! Stop stalling Prowl, just state it."_

"_He's dead."_

_Shockwave stiffens and clinches down on the frame but wants the real point. "And?!"_

_Prowl is surprised Shockwave has just push through the death of his mate to get the rest of the information._

"_I'm not a weak aft femme, Officer, out with all of it or go away."_

"_Karmashock, too."_

"_Oh Primus," the room sways for Shockwave and he grips the frame tighter with both hands. A shot of stabbing pain in his chest doesn't help either._

_Prowl looks up to the odd look on the unique face, "Shockwave, are you alright?"_

_The antenna lay back and he pulls to his full height, "That's a stupid question to ask, Prowl."_

_Even Shockwave is surprised how calm and numb he is feeling about the fact his mate is dead. The mech he has long and craved for all his life is suddenly gone… forever. Karmashock's death is hurting more than Megatron's? He too coughs but pushes ahead, "Wh-what happened?"_

_Prowl grabs Shockwave's arm and this time the taller mech just doesn't have it within himself to argue. They sit on the couch side by side facing the piano. Shockwave can feel another pang ripple through his chest but figures it just to be emotional-grief reaction, nothing serious. After all, a tragic break to a bond is not easy to take. Most certainly not when your spark is gearing it's self up for another round of spark-interfacing._

"_I don't have all the details yet, the crime scene investigators are still handling the situation but I wanted to be the one to tell you before the media got a hold of you. At this time I have put a blackout to the victims names until the scene is secured and documented properly."_

"_Thank you," comes out as a mutter._

_The chevroned helm nods, "There was a very disgruntle former patient who was holding his doctor hostage. Dr. Karmashock tried to talk him down and he turned with a loaded weapon. Megatron leapt to save him… and the bullets flew. I'm sorry, Shockwave." For once, Prowl really is sorry. "He was… I can't believe I'm going to say this. It was a very self sacrificing thing for him to do. Atoning, you might even say."_

_Shockwave sinks his helm to his openly shaking palms, "Oh shit."_

"_They will be on the way to the morgue soon, do you want me to make arrangements for you to see him?"_

_Shockwave numbly nods, "I would appreciate that."_

"_Do you want me to take you?"_

_The helm slowly shakes, "No, I need to inform …Puncture." He brings his hand up to his mouth. "Prowl, if you will excuse me," he can feel his stomach starting to churn._

"_Of course. What do you want me to tell the media?"_

_Shockwave looks into the optics of one of Megatron's greatest foes. "May I ask one request of you, Prowl?" The black and white nods softly. "Please let him be in peace. I don't want there to be a media circus. He wanted nothing more than peace his whole life. From himself, for himself and everything in between. Can you seal it? I don't want any mention of his name. Ever. Let him rest in peace?"_

_For Prowl, in a way he is grateful for he really doesn't want the former Warlord to be glorified as a hero in his death, it would leave a bad taste in his mouth after all these vorns. As much as he would like that to be his main reason for doing sealing his name, the truth is… Shockwave has a point. Megatron's last move proved that he would give his life for another which he did not think was possible. He had been wrong about the mech._

"_Of course." Before he heads opens the door, he asks once more, "Shockwave, are you sure you are going to be alright?"_

"_I have been through so much hell with Megatron, that he is finally at peace."_

"_That's not what I asked."_

"_Prowl, get out of my home. As much as I appreciate you delivering the news personally, you aren't my friend and honestly, do you care? You got your wish, he's dead. He will never be a bur in your side again." Shockwave knows he's going to purge in just a moment and thus is a bit more aggressive, "See yourself out," and leans heavily on the staircase banister to make it back up to his master's empty berth room._

_He never heard the front door close softy, for as soon as his optics saw the paper still laying on Megatron's pillow, his stomach lurches and he lunges for the bathroom. After releasing whatever was in his stomach, blackness pulls him to the cold hard tiles._

_The cold hard tiles are not a kind place to wake up on when you never want to wake up again. Still, its not in his programming to give up no matter how empty his spark chamber feels. He finds his hand sliding under his chest plate to his spark. It's too early to tell, but just maybe, he hopes Megatron was successful. With a lift of an antenna, how could he not be? The mech is more virile than a fertility clinic, hell he sparked Shockwave by accident once, maybe he was successful on purpose this time._

_The violet chest takes a deep breath and pulls upright. Time to face the duties of a mate and a loyal soldier. _

_With a swift shower over with, he makes the fateful phone call. Puncture isn't at home, so Shockwave leaves him one simple message, "If you want to see Megatron, I will be at the morgue. After that, you can see him at the pyre." It might not have been the most respectful way to deliver the news, but what else can he say to a mech who did what he did this morning?_

_Shockwave slowly makes his way to Kaon General Administration and lays his right hand to the counter top. A glint catches his optic and draws his focus to the ring; his spark plunges again._

_A chipper secretary comes over popping her gum raking her optics down his form, "Oh hello! What can I do you for?"_

"_I would like to see my mate," the English voice is somehow smooth and consistent. His antenna pull taught like one might their jaw when she leans in with an extra glint to her optic._

_Still perky-bot smacks her gum and winks, "Aw she must be one lucky femme. Let me guess, maternity ward? Second floor to the right. You want to take that elevator-"_

_The hand becomes a fist and his voice goes to a dark tone that even he hasn't heard from himself since the war. "Shut up you little, twit!" it stops her instructions but she wasn't ready for the rest as he leans in and goes darker. "He was brought in by the coroner's hearse. So if you can get that piece of crap out of your mouth long enough to call the morgue and let them know Mr. Shockwave is on his way, I would SEVERELY appreciate it." _

_There is anything BUT appreciation in his severe voice. All color drains out of her face and optics. She opens her mouth to say something but one sharp pointer slices through the air and wisely she says nothing more._

"_I will make my own way down. If Mr. Puncture shows up, I suggest you show him a hell of a lot more courtesy to his son's slab!"_

_With that he steps away. He doesn't give a damn when the little thing bursts into tears. If anything, that should be a serious on the job training moment for the airhead. _

_Still, the long walk to the tombs of the hospital are cold and dark. The sickening feeling is coming to his chest again, but he must do this. He always knew this day would come, he just never expected it to come on the morning of attempted-conception. He never expected it to take Karmashock as well. Fate has been doubly cruel today._

_The door is right there, but he can't find a way to make his pedes to move forward. When the door opens and a mech steps out, Shockwave pulls from his daze. "Mr. Shockwave?" The voice is soft like one who knows exactly what he is doing. This is not his first rodeo, but still he is a compassionate professional. The purple helm gives a soft dip, and the mech lays a soft welcoming hand out, "When you are ready, just come through."_

_The proud pained chest, takes a deep breath and moves. The mortician once again lays a soft hand out and shows the way, but Shockwave raises a hand, "Please, may I see Dr. Karmashock first? After all, Megatron was there to see his friend."_

_With a nod he lays a hand out to the other table, "I can only show you his face, the rest is, bad. He was crushed in the impact."_

_Shockwave turns a curious helm up, "What do you mean?"_

_The mortician once more lays his hands between them both, "I'm sorry, Dr. Karmashock was not killed by a bullet like Mr. Megatron was. The doctor was killed by the impact of Megatron's fall. The motorbike-mech just… he didn't stand a chance under all the weight of the tank-mech."_

_Shockwave pales and can feel the room spin. "Hey, it's alright, sit right here." The coated mech reaches for a stool but Shockwave waves him off holding onto the tables right and left. One bears Karmashock and the other Megatron. Megatron actually killed Karmashock in protection? No, Megatron was a better gladiator in that._

_Shockwave shakes his head, "No, that can't be. He was a trained fighter and a miner. He knows how to bridge himself over another in a cave. He would never have let something like that happen."_

_The mortician folds the sheet down on each mech. There Shockwave can see the clean up hole right through the center of Megatron's forehelm. "Oh Megatron." He was dead before impact thus never had a chance to get his arms into position to bridge over Karmashock.  
"He still had the doctor tight in his grip when they went to access the situation. I'm very sorry, Mr. Shockwave. I know this must be hard to lose them both in such a manner."_

_Shockwave just looks down on his mate and strokes the face in sweet gray serenity. He moves both hands along the rim of the helm and pops the secret catches he knows all too well._

"_Sir, what are-ooooh," the mortician remains silent from there as Shockwave sets the helmet on the chest so his fingers can trail through that crest one last time. Ever so slowly he strokes each of the four prongs to their full length. No longer do they have the vibrant colors of just this morning when he had last played with them. Still even in death, they give his Lord a very regal look._

"_I will never stop loving you, Megatron. I am trying to follow your last order. I'm trying to complete our last mission."_

_There are no other words that will come out of him, for the reality of his world has come crashing down. Was it fitting or was it fate finishing it's cruelty to have Puncture come in just as he feels something break within his chest pushing him to almost crack a sob. _

"_Shockwave, you should count this as a blessing from Primus that you will not have to raise his sparkling."_

_The icy pain comes up his throat and out chilling the air between them over the dead mech that was the only link to their two lives, "Do not speak to me, Puncture."_

_Puncture feels the frozen reception to his words, and starts to say something but the purple mech leans over. Shockwave gives Megatron's cold lips one last kiss just hoping that one of those children's fairytale stories would come true and Megatron would at least would start breathing again if not kiss him back and take them both away from this cold dark room._

_Instead of speaking Puncture lays a hand on the violet shoulder breaking all hopeful thoughts and once more shoving reality into his face. Lifting his helm, jerks his shoulder out from under the older one's touch. Kind or not, it's like poison right now. The widower doesn't even look at the other just taking the helmet up again and replacing it, locking the secret catches over the beautiful crest so that the father can not look upon it ever again. Then the elegant shoulders raises proud and true turning his back on Puncture in a curt about-face soldier's move. He will not let Puncture see his optic about to burst or the soft expression he has while laying a mournful hand on the chest of the motorbike that meant so much to him as well. /I_

"Karmashock was not just Megatron's therapist, but you know that. He was so much of a help to me as well. He understood that the patient's road of healing was not just his own but the whole family. More times than I can count, he had a moment for me and my own issues."

Cole nods in complete agreement to that. "That I will say is very true. He would always have a moment for another. I never faulted him for that, nor did he for I when I had patients and family that needed extra care."

Shockwave nods and touches that hidden golden spark on the young flyer, "You two were good for each other."

A smile crosses his thin dark lips, "Yeah, we were."

"Have you seen Karmashock's children since?"

"I ran into Kortez the other day at the market, but Violex has been back to staying with her mother. Some sort of mechfriend trouble again."

"And Cera?"

"No. She was very silent at the funeral. I think it hurt a lot more than others knew. She had always said that his occupation was dangerous and she worried for him. Not to say that I haven't either!"

They both give a light smile to the fiasco Cole brought down on them all for his dream gone haywire and caused … well issues among the four of them for a short time.

"I think Cera is really upset that her biggest fear came true: he died due to his choice of occupation. He gave his life in trying to protect others."

A rueful smile comes across his face. Cole took care of others during the war. Shockwave served in the war. Megatron started the war! Karmashock wasn't even on the planet during the war and yet he's the one that died in a near battle like situation and Megatron died trying to save someone. That last piece may shock everyone, but not these two.

"Fate has a twisted sense of humor," Shockwave darkly muses.

Cole brings his hand over Shockwave's right one still baring Megatron's mark, "Fate may be cruel, but Primus has been kind to me." That tweaks the darker helm making Cole soothe his hand again, "He didn't leave me alone. I didn't lose everyone like I first thought."

"No, Cole you didn't." Holding their hands tighter together, Shockwave pushes further, "Neither did I. Thank you for coming back."

Cole snuggles down against Shockwave's chest, "Thank you for staying."

Shockwave nuzzles in, "We can do this, Cole. I think we were meant to be."

The red helm just nods and breathes in the scent of warm Shockwave alive and breathing against him.

They don't need love making to make their relationship. What they need is this: feeling each other alive.


	11. Chapter 11

**S & C 11**

Nuzzled in together brings Cole's hand to soothe along Shockwave's arm until the larger mech begins to rumble softly. Cole pulls back and looks into an optic that has a brilliance he's used to seeing in Karmashock's sweet slate ones. Pure amusement. Yes Cole knows that Shockwave has a sense of humor, he's not THAT much of a droid!, it's just not common for the red mech to see the violet one amused so comfortably with him.

"Yes?"

For Shockwave, his mate had no shame in teasing him, so for him to have a mech in his life a bit more serious (and not in a dark way like Megatron's other end of the spectrum) it brings a lightness to his life. Yes, he could laugh heartily with Megatron, but with Cole, it's just different things they find amusing. It's wonderful, delightful and he is so sure he is going to enjoy this new relationship: the comfort of familiarity with the spice of new interests and connections.

Shockwave angles his antenna into his lighter expression, "So do you think I can finally get a medical release from my attending physician, for I am going stir crazy and beginning to atrophy in body and mind!"

Cole's helm sinks a bit to the mech before him that always pushes himself so hard that Megatron would constantly chew on his lip for him. Well if Shockwave is going to make jokes about it, then Cole will just have to put him in his place about it. With a simple adjustment, he has pushed Shockwave flat on his back, straddled upon his waist and pinned his collar to the berth while giving him the clinical eye and a waggling finger.

"Let me make this clear, Patient. I will strap you down to a berth if you try anything stupid like put too much strain on that spark chamber. Ratchet and Dad spent over half the day rooting around and repairing that blue globe's cradle! And if you screw it up and-and-"

"Cole, let go of me." Shockwave actually whimpers out an order.

Instead Cole starts to slip his hand closer to the throat to make his point. In a flash, the white hand finds it's self in a lilac vice and that brilliant optic going dark.

"Shockwave?" Cole is actually concerned he may have put an unintended strain on the other.

Instead, Shockwave closes off the optic and tries to calm the rising heat to his systems. It's been such a long time since someone has restrained him in such a dominating way. A shiver of lust goes down his spine furrowing the other's brow. Cole will never be the predator Megatron was, which is more than fine in needing a more tender relationship this time, but still Shockwave's aroused side is more than kicking on right now. It's darker side he can easily temper and let go with this dear sweet mech atop him. Still! To feel Cole pinning him in protection is down right invigorating! He's pretty sure Cole should feel just how hot he is for this.

"Cole, please do not touch my throat right now." The words are slow in trying to calm himself and keep himself from begging Cole to just grab it and take him.

Wisely Cole pulls back releasing the body beneath him. As his aft rolls back against the blanket covered cod piece and he can feel the hotter body part. "Oh."

Shockwave swallows slowly arching his helm back. "Oh Primus Cole, it's been too long. I might be as mech as the next bot but if you touch me I swear I will soil this berth."

Cole didn't mean to squirm, but he did making Shockwave grip those lovely crimson hips and hold them still. "My cable would be more than happy to solve that itching problem of yours, but I think the hot oil of an overload in my spark chamber would be acid to its tender housing thus leave me to purge my stomach tank on this berth as well." Once more he swallows hard, "So would you be so kind as to remove your damn hot-sexy flying body from my super heated one?"

With slumped shoulders, Cole ever so carefully removes himself from the gorgeous form below him. Both lilac hands flop down over his chest and he chuckles.

Cole is swift in getting himself dressed, "And pray tell what is so funny?"

Shockwave rolls his head watching the flyer snap on bits of his fuselage kibble, "How would we ever explain to Surgeon Wolfgang that all his hard work was destroyed by his own son loving me to death?"

The white hands still in putting on a lighted shoulder plate. He's just at a loss of words for that. Love. Are they ready for that word? He knows Shockwave meant it in terms of 'making love' but still, are they ready to use those words with each other in a serious way?

The serious expression coming over Cole's face lets Shockwave know he has strummed a chord in the other, "I don't think I will ever get used to watching you get dressed, Cole. Such precision work."

Cole looks away and back to the task, "Yes well, a flyer must be a bit more careful than a grounder. If we fall…," he shrugs leaving the rest for Shockwave to fill in.

"Cole, please don't shy away from me. We have to be honest with each other if this is going to work, alright?"

The noble's helm nods and he finishes the last pieces to his armor, "I know Shockwave, I know." With that done, he looks back to the one propping his helm up on a soft closed fist, "That includes with ourselves." The remaining lilac hand flays out for the helo-bot to continue. "I'm scared," Cole finishes.

Now the hand reaches out for Cole's who is hesitant but finally gives it over. Shockwave gives it a squeeze, "Good, because I'm terrified and I don't get terrified. Worried, yes. Concerned, constantly. Scared, occasionally. But flat out terrified, no."

They both know this is no light dating they are doing like some youngling. This is very serious. At the end of this either they will bond or be broken. It will either end gloriously or tragically and seeing how they have already walked that road and know that pain, neither really wants to experience it again.

"Hey, we are two very independent mechs and that should help things. I am aching to get back to my projects. What about you?" Shockwave tries to ease himself and the other.

Now it's Cole's turn to laugh lightly, "Well, considering I used it as my hideout for the last week…," his cheeks flush. This does make Shockwave laugh lightly with him again, for he knows all too well how easy it is to bury yourself in a project to hide from your own emotions. Cole takes a deep breath and squeezes back, "Why don't we sit with my parents for dinner tonight and that should help Dad give you your release?"

Shockwave nods. "Now to see if I can get back into my armor. I don't think I've been out of it this long in …I don't know how long."

"How about if I help?" He pulls back and winks, "I do so enjoy watching you get dressed as well, Mr. Shockwave." Those dark cheeks go darker.

~~8~~

By the end of the next day and a detailed physical, Dr. Wolfgang releases Shockwave to return home and back to work. There was one stipulation by Nurse Vicky: he was required to join the family for the next four Sabbath dinners so they can check on his progress. What isn't said yet clearly implied, the parents really like Shockwave. More importantly: they like Shockwave and Cole together.

"Don't make me drive over and pick you up," Victrola waves that butter knife in threat again. "The number one rule in this house is 'don't freak out the mother.' That goes for you too, Shockwave."

"Yes, Mu'am." The hybrid name slips out. He flushes so hard his helm drops to look down to his folding hands in his lap, but she's the one that flushes deeper. Having spent nearly two weeks under her care as sweet as his own Mum's over protectiveness, it just fell out so easily. Respectfully, no one says anything and just lets the complimentary-slip of the tongue lay.

After dessert, Wolfgang helps Shockwave gather his things and take him home. Maybe Cole should have, but he had gotten an urgent call about one of his patients taking a turn for the worse. Without even a second thought, he just took a leap and flew off. Shockwave smiles watching him go.

"I don't think I will ever get used to that."

Wolfgang gives him a chuckle, "Me neither. Still seems like yesterday I was bouncing him off my knee, holding him by the waist to fly him around the room within these hands." He shakes his head with a deep sigh, "I know he hasn't been a boy for a good long time, but still…. I'm so proud of him."

Shockwave's throat swallows hard. There is a look on this heavy rounded face with misty hazel eyes and a beaming bearded smile that Shockwave would have given anything to have received from his own father or even Puncture.

The purple mech asks the smiling father, "What makes you proud of him? Is it because he joined your profession?"

Wolfgang shakes his head, "Now I won't lie, that does make me happy, but not the core of my pride. No, what really makes me swell with pride is his dignity and pride in himself. He will not let anyone down; patient, friend, family, no one. He wants to do right by any of them. He gives them all his best. At the end of the day, that mech can look himself in the mirror and know he has been honest and true to not only himself but anyone he interacts with."

Shockwave nods softly to that. "Yes, exactly." He finally has the words as to what it is that makes him want to keep Cole in his life. This family too. With a rub to his chin he has to agree. It's not what he could say about his own father or sister but could apply to his own mother. It's something he can agree is what held Megatron to him in their bondhood. Megatron had tried his best for Shockwave. It's what he wants for his future.

He looks up to Wolfgang, "Thank you Wolfgang for allowing me into your home. It has done me a lot of good. More than the physical, you have… made me truly welcomed into a family. This is not something I have experienced before."

The Sikorsky's broad shoulders sag, but not in sorrow. More like they settle into a more comfortable position. "Good. You have made it easy, Shockwave. You're a good boy."

To that Shockwave can only laugh. He's got a few vorns on the Dauphin and yet this Surgeon is making him feel like a youngling. A great boisterous laugh rumbles out of the heavier mech as he slaps a heavy hand on the designer's shoulder, "Come come, we must get you home before Vicky tucks you into berth again."

With a rub to the antenna, Shockwave follows the mech out of the manor.

Shockwave looks around his very quite home. Its good to have the silence to himself again. The constant interruptions by the medical staff in the hospital checking his stats made it near impossible for him to rest. The unfamiliar berth room and the racking worry for Cole made it hard to rest in Wolfgang's home.

But now here he is back within the walls he is familiar with, yet it has a different kind of silence. No TV programs that Megatron enjoyed. No teasing plans to shove him against the wall and fuck him into oblivion. Not even the sounds of the piano playing out a mournful tune as Megatron pounds away his demons.

No, this is Shockwave's home of silence. After all the times during the war where he just wanted his quite lab to do all that he pleased, he was left alone as Guardian of Cybertron and got it. The old phrase 'be careful what you wish for, you may just get it,' certainly bit him in the aft that time. He got Lord Megatron's honor but also the insane isolation.

The single mech makes his way over to his most sentimental creation. Picking up the urn with the violet ring still laying on top, he carries them where he can sit at the stool before the key board. With a flick of the shroud, and a careful lift of the keyboard cover he can see the keys that make such harmony. The urn is set to the side of the music rest and Shockwave presses a few of the keys. It's strange to hear the notes break the silence of the room again after all these lunar cycles.

Carefully, Shockwave releases his chest piece and sets it too the floor. His hand slowly rubs over the tender 'skin' over his spark chamber. It actually surprises him that he is not twanging or panging to hear the notes again. The first few cyber weeks after the death, the sound of any piano was like a stake to the spark, but here with THEIR piano, he's alright.

Shockwave will never be a musician like Megatron and Cole doesn't play, so what will be come of this great gift? It wasn't something Shockwave ever thought he would be dealing with. With a twist he looks around this home that was theirs. Now it's his alone and it's alright. He can breathe and it doesn't hurt. Wolfgang may have cut pieces out of his chest that defined his relationship with Megatron, but the recovery has helped him regain who HE is. Who Shockwave is.

He is not a son.

He is not a soldier.

He is not a mate.

He is not just an employee.

Shockwave is a mech of his own accord. It brings a peaceful lift to his spark and antenna. Peace. Serenity. Individuality. Courting Cole will not automatically define him either. He is a mech of his own accord for the first time.

The cell rings. Lifting it from his hip, the antenna perk, "Hello, Cole, how is your patient?"

For some reason, the violet ring slips off the urn to strike a key. A key so close to Cole's voice's register. Lighter than Megatron's deep raspy voice, but still heavy in enough in the mech-register. Shockwave looks down to where the violet ring stares back at him listening to Cole talk about his patient's progress (minus the name of course). Could this be Megatron's blessing to let him move on?

Ever so logical and science minded, of course he doesn't believe in all that metaphysical and theological rhetoric, but still… there is something in the air and it's peaceful. Carefully he picks up the urn, ring and takes the phone with him into the kitchen. Using a butter knife, he pops the pins to the urn lid.

"Shockwave, is everything alright?" Cole asks hearing the pop.

"Everything is fine, Cole. Just… putting something away." He gives the ring one last kiss and then drops it into the ashes. Pressing the lid back on until the pins click back into place he smiles, "You were saying?"

~~8~~

The next morning Shockwave heads into work early to catch up on where he had abruptly been yanked away. Sure enough some of his coworkers had tried to help with his more urgent projects but it was time he took them all back. Shockwave was back in full physical and mental working order. Nothing was going to stall him now. If anything, he feels better than he has in months. His spark feels healthier then ever, and now he knows why even if the final results were a bit painful to accept. This morning's half workout routine worked him hard, but also revitalized him. Wolfgang and Victrola's warm support reminds him that he is part of a new family.

Cole's acceptance to beginning a serious relationship is just the final stone in his path of forward movement. They aren't going to do anything rash like bond right away, but they are going to make each other a regular piece of each other's lives.

"You gave us all quite a scare there, Sir."

If anyone else had called him Sir with that military subordinate tone of voice, he would have admonished them, but from her, he knows what she means. He lifts his head from the blue print spread across his desk to see his secretary shut the door behind her. Shockwave knows he can't ignore whatever she is going to say privately, so he just sits back in his chair and waits for it.

"Are you sure you should be here?" Her concern is dearly respectful.

He shakes a finger at her, "I left the medical release on your desk so you would leave me alone about it."

She plants her hand on her hips and taps a finger, "Oh I thought that was just so I would file it away with HR."

With a shrug, flicks the antenna, "Hum, yes that too."

"Look-"

His hand waves, "I'm fine."

"Dr. Ratchet said spark attack, Shockwave! How can you be fine?! Spark attack after-everything?!" She's the one who looks like she's going to have one now balling up her fists and choking on her words. "You scared me!"

His shoulders droop. Unlike the rest of these coworkers, she severed under him during the war. He protected his lab assistants, so she knew him before Megatron and now after. Even though Shockwave more than served Megatron, he can understand the concern a subordinate would have for a respected superior. She has done her best not to abuse their past working relationship in this current one, but right now the line is faltering.

With a motion of his hand, he has her sit on the couch under the window that looks out over the back lot. "Timeflip, I'm fine. Coming back to work is actually just what I need. Your concern warms me, but please don't."

Her hand can't stop itself from folding over his, "I… him… you…and then…"

Apparently the loss of Megatron effected more people than he thought. He lays a hand over the top of hers, "Forgive me for being self centered and not acknowledging your own grief. I just didn't think…"

Her hand crushes down, "You didn't think what? That we wouldn't care you had lost the only one in your life. I'm just your bloody co-worker not your friend, sure. I know you aren't cold as some of these others think. I know you are just reserved and don't want to be a bother to anyone else, but damnit Shockwave… You really kept it in so much that you literally broke your spark?!"

Her chest is rising and falling such a pace in restraining herself from really giving it to him. He lets her just pant and crush his hand in her anger. It pangs and warms him that she is so mad at him. Almost makes him want to laugh. Almost. Instead, he decides to repay her loyal concern with something else.

"Can I tell you a secret to ease your worries?"

Her chest slows down and she pulls her glasses away. He won't let go of her hand so she is forced to rub her budding tears with her fist holding her glasses. "What?" comes out in a light snap.

He smiles mentally and gives her amused mirth back, "You have to promise me you will keep your mouth shut." The former Science Commander knows he can trust her for she was one of the few lab assistants who 'misplaced' some of his experiments so the traitorous Commander Starscream wouldn't get his greedy paws on them.

She knows he knows he can trust her so she shoots him a scowl back, "Shockwave, what is it?"

He looks down to their hands and rubs a thumb over the back, "I might be seeing someone."

"Don't tease me like that." She knows good and well how his spark drooled only for one.

His optic is very serious as he gives her that 'don't mess with me' look that she knows all too well. "I'm not."

She blinks at him twice before putting her glasses back on. This time he lets go of her hand when she tries to take it back, and stands. She rises too and points a finger at his spark, "If they break that, I will warp them into last vorn and let them deal with Megatron's jealous wrath."

A warm chuckle breaks out of him. The sound of the elevator outside lets them both know the day has begun. "I want a meeting within the orn. We have a lot to sort out and I have no plans to go anywhere anytime soon."

"You got it, sir." This time her tint to the title is a lot softer and civilian. She steps out of the office and states the announcement, "Shockwave's back on deck, planning room one orn."

To the purple one's blushing honor, cheers go out among the arriving teammates.

Dr. Cole finds a similar reception among his own teammates when his blades swish with a bit more pep to his steps and his brilliant smile is back. He on the other hand says nothing to anyone about seeing someone. No one knew before the surgery, no need to let them know now. For now, the couple plans to take it slow and careful.

And thus they do.


	12. Chapter 12

**S & C 12**

Sinead: Within Temptation

~~~Sabbath dinner many Lunar Cycles after the surgery~~

It has become almost a weekly event for Shockwave and Cole. No longer does the Designer put it on his calendar. Even if Cole isn't there or running late, Shockwave is permitted to let himself into the main home without ringing the bell. That is one thing, but for Shockwave to feel comfortable enough to actually do it took a bit longer, but it came. What took even longer was for Victrola to allow Shockwave to help her prepare the meal, but it came as well.

They both find it comforting and soothing. Shockwave really enjoys talking with her while creating at her side. Unlike Statik who was a bit too open and made him a bit nervous, this motherly femme still has her elite manners of conversation with her warm respectful teasing to him and science inquisitiveness. She never asked about Cole or his 'personal time' just about the places they had gone together and what they saw and experienced. All she care was that the two mech were happy and enjoying each other's company. Most of all, that made Shockwave comfortable with her as well.

It made him quite happy that she would allow him to do the dishes which even his own mother wouldn't allow him to take off her shoulders. It didn't bother him quite so much any more when she would tug his antenna gently so his helm would tip down low enough for her to plant a motherly kiss to his cheek. He always blushed to that. That he just could not get to stop even after all this time.

She giggles, "Shockwave-dear, you are too cute for your own good. Now come on, the Irish Coffee's going to get cold."

He will have to admit, he really has enjoyed this new treat they introduced him to. Fresh hot Energon with a shot of sweet cream and punch of whiskey-high grade. Hot Toddies he'd also heard it called, but this concoction she makes, just melts everything right out of your pede toes. Forces him to spend the night at Cole's place. Sneaky femme. He gives her a closer look tonight.

"What? Don't look at me that way Shockwave unless you have something to say." She tries to look all innocent over her large mug.

Cole shoots a look back and forth between this mother and that Commander's scan of Shockwave's. Shockwave leans back and crosses and ankle over his knee keeping up the staring contest over his own large mug.

"Who's going to blink first, Cole?" Wolfgang flicks a finger between the two of them. He has the straight whiskey and Cole the straight Energon.

"Shockwave…" She draws out again raising one painted optic brow in challenge.

"Megatron may not have had too many older femmes within the ranks, but I never did know exactly who all he had on the outside aiding him with his schemes. After all it would take some powerful movers and shakers to get the ball rolling and keep it going." He quirks his antenna back at her in challenge taking a sip but never breaking optic contact.

She swishes her own crossed ankle back at him, "And just what are you trying to imply, former Commander?"

By now he knows he is among trusted family and they both know the ultimate title he and Megatron bore. "You would have been an asset to our ranks," he smirks.

Just to tease him back further, she takes a dainty sip and blinks her not so innocent optics, "Oh you flatterer, you. Don't you know by now you don't have to impress me any more, Shockwave."

Cole shakes his head, "Mom, I think that was an admonishment not a compliment."

Victrola rolls her optics and is forced to break the optic game with Shockwave, "I KNOW that Cole!" Wolfgang and Shockwave chuckle warmly to Cole messing up game of subtle elite banter and getting chastised by his mother. Flushing badly, Cole sinks into his own mug beside the fire.

A few soft moments go by listening to the fire crackle and the warm drinks being consumed. "It's coming up soon. Have you made any plans, Cole?"

Shockwave turns to Cole for further explanation to his father's question. Cole lays a hand out to the south, "On the first anniversary of the burial, our faith lays the headstone. I know Karmashock was not of our faith, but he is laid to rest in our family plot thus the tradition holds."

That does bring the violet helm to nod respectfully. The plague that tore through Tyrex taking both Karmashock's parents was extremely contagious. All bodies were burned in hopes to stop the contamination. After everything Karmashock had been to Cole and the community, it just seemed more fitting to bury Karmashock here.

"I've ordered the stone, it will be ready in time," Cole answers softly.

"And? You know its fine to invite anyone over you would like," his mother presses the issue to the service.

"I will ask his family. Cera already gave me permission over the burial and stone."

Vicky turns to Shockwave, "And what of you? Have you made any decisions for your bondmate's remains?"

Shockwave is silent in shaking his head no. Its not a massive pain to him, only a twinge of regret. It actually surprises him in a way that he isn't pained, just twanged. He looks over to Cole for what he thinks on this subject of Karmashock and Megatron. Cole seems fine too. Is it because it's been a vorn or is it because their sparks have found new companions to blend with?

The patriarch of the family leans over and pats the purple knee, "If you need us to help with anything, you know we will." Once more Shockwave is silent in nodding.

The family fall silent on the subject and goes back to their drinks pondering over the whole thing and watching the fire burn. They are all watching silent Shockwave carefully to see if he is rewatching that pyre. He gives no indication of his feeling though.

Once the drinks are over, Shockwave and Cole say their adieu and head out the back door to Cole's home. That night, they huddle together saying nothing. Nothing really needs to be said. Clinging to each other is all they really need, to feel someone else alive and in their arms. Kind of a safe way to fall asleep even if both twitch during the night.

Cole awakens the next morning alone. It's not that surprising to him though, Shockwave always rises before him on these mornings. He slips on his checkered armor and heads into the kitchen where he can look out on the back patio. His purple mech friend is finishing his morning routine of push ups and now rolling to his back where he lifts shoulders and legs to bring right elbow to left knee and then switch. It never ceases to amaze Cole that Shockwave is so flexible and masculine in his graceful work outs. He never would have believed such a deviously sexy form lay beneath that bulky chest piece until he had seen it the second and third time.

Time after time, that silky form has curled it's way over his smaller form and made him cry out in sounds he didn't know he could emit. Likewise, Cole had finally found Shockwave's ticklish spot and takes great pleasure in making the larger form squirm and actually giggle.

His attention pulls from his muse as he sees Shockwave sprint down the path for his morning run. As a grounder, he is more than able to race along the ground in an endurance that this flyer just can't handle, but that doesn't mean Cole isn't enjoying the work out. He puts breakfast together pacing it in such a way that it will be done by the time Shockwave is done with his morning laps.

Likewise Shockwave knows what Cole is up to, for he can smell it with each passing lap. This morning though, he gets a devious though in his head. His pace ramps up. It feels really good to give his spark an extra hard work out this morning.

Cole looks up and sees Shockwave drop from his run to a brisk walk. He swiftly grabs two glasses of cool Energon and hands it over. Panting, Shockwave tips his helm, "Walk with me for my cool down, please?" Cole falls in beside him but the pace is fast at first giving him a slight work out until Shockwave's spark rate comes down to a standard rate.

Half way around the walk is the gate to the private family cemetery. Shockwave stops and Cole joins him as they look to the plot that will be named in a few days. "Cole, I know Megatron was not of your faith, but Karmashock was his close friend and they did die together. Do you think I could give him back to Cybertron here?"

Cole slips his left hand into Shockwave right one, "I think that would be fitting."

"Your parents won't mind?"

Cole shakes his head, "No, they won't. And if they did, you and I just won't tell them." Shockwave doesn't smile at that as Cole does nor does he move on. "What is it?" the younger red one presses.

"Puncture is going to be pissed that I laid him to rest with and Agnostic on your faith's hallowed ground by and Atheist."

"You had the priest say last rites, correct?"

"I did."

"Where do you think his soul is?"

Shockwave turns to the other that has a faith. His religion may worship Primus differently than Puncture and Megatron's religion does, but he still has a faith whereas he does not. If anything, his god is dead, Cole he knows is no master in his life. No, Cole is a new love, a new promise of hope. Cole is his Partner.

Instead of answering, the Atheist just shakes his head and moves on without letting go of this hand.

They make it all the way around the path and to the poolside just taking in the morning air. At the poolside, Shockwave takes the glass from Cole's hand and sets them both aside. "Shockwave, what are -muff-"

Shockwave grabs the mech and kisses him hard. He knows there is no one else here and he needs Cole right now! Wolfgang and Vicky have left for services and the other two have the day off. That leaves Cole with the whole place to himself. Cole is helpless when Shockwave holds him like this. For being a more dominate mech, it just curls his toes when Shockwave gets possessive. He reaches up and grabs onto the violet winglets as Shockwave backs him to the edge of the pool. Cole never saw it coming and they both plunge into the pool causing him to release his grip.

Cole comes up sputtering and gasping. Shockwave smirks, "It would be prudent of me to cool down further before consuming a meal."

The medic just blinks his great green optics at Shockwave trying to pull up that façade. He narrows them and then charges, "You forget, I grew up with this pool, you are going down mech!"

Shockwave smirks dodging Cole's move, "You forget who trained me to fight…. Dirty."

Cole is sure the water just jumped a few Kelvin with that threat. Then the indistinguishable sound of someone's chest clamps being released and a clang of it being tossed to the deck. Oh that was dirty, now the lithe one has less resistance in the water and a slickened sexy protoform. Before Cole can get any of his own hindrances loose, he finds himself being pursued. He doesn't stand much of a chance against the trained one who wrestled with a burlier soldiers more often As much as Cole enjoyed capturing and pinning Karmashock in their tickle fests, he is quickly finding himself out of his league. Cole even goes so far as to use his medical training to try weaseling his way through this fight.

To no avail. Shockwave is just better at picking his armor apart and tossing it aside and getting his devious digits into the rotor and hip pieces. In a final act, Cole bites Shockwave in the bare shoulder harder than he planned. Shockwave stiffens and Cole pulls back swiftly.

"I'm so sorry, Shockwave. I didn't mean to bite that hard." Shockwave's optic goes very dark and there's a deep hurring in the chest coming up. Cole swallows hard afraid he might have done something very bad. "AH!" The lilac devices hit that erotic spot that makes Cole's knees buckle. Shockwave hits it hard once more making the flier whimper, but not in pain.

"Shockwave, please," Cole pleads.

Armor is scattered in and all around the pool. Hearing the car pull up in the drive, Shockwave snarls, "Please do not answer the door," and sloshes his way to the steps. Cole is hot on his trail following that naked wet aft. What he would give to get into it!

Cole gets the back door shut just in time to hear his parents exclamation to the litter. Shockwave tosses himself flat back to the berth pulling Cole over him by the back of the neck. "It's alright to bite me," it's his turn to whimper.

How can he refuse when Shockwave is curling up and begging for it. "Don't let me hurt you," before he gives Shockwave another love bite.

The violet and snowy one laughs lightly to the red one's concern, "Oh Cole, you still have a lot to learn."

To help him along, Shockwave slips his middle finger through those dark aft cheeks and exciting them both. Cole clenches down lightly and Shockwave lets out a delicious moan…..

By the end of their row, the berth is wet from the pool and each other. The breakfast quiche had to be tossed and started over. And then there was the matter of a the message on the phone stating that his father was not going to clean up the pool.

Sheepishly they look at each other. Neither had planned for the escapade to get so out of hand. Donning robes, they head down to fish the armor out of the area.

~~8~~

During the week Cole gets to talking to Shockwave about something he needed for the reception, "Well I guess I will just have to go buy another one."

Shockwave shakes his head, "Don't bother, Cole. Come on over after work, I have one that I never used. You can decide if it will be big enough."

"Alright, if you are sure," and they make plans to meet.

At the appointed time, Shockwave hears a knock and then the door being unlocked. It always makes him smile the way Cole does that. They had decided that it would be safer to have a key to each other's place just in case of emergencies. Tucking the keys into his hip plate, he follows Shockwave motions towards the kitchen, "I just got home myself so I haven't had a chance to look for it. If it's not here, I'm afraid it might be in the dungeon of the storage room."

Cole silently nods and that makes the taller one stop. "Is everything alright, Cole?"

The green optic look around the room. They take in the simple structure, the doors to the balcony, stairs to what was the master berthroom. And then his optics fall on the piano tucked into the corner with the urn still on it's shrouded form.

"Cole?"

"Did you really have this place built for you both?"

Shockwave now looks around the place too but from Cole's perspective this time. Yes this had always been their home, but what does it mean to Cole? After all, it's not like Karmashock LIVED at his home. Visit, yes, but really habitat, no. This place had been Megatron's haven of refuge with his mate. This had been the place they conceived plans for a family together. The place where they planned to grow old together.

Shockwave heads into the kitchen and now comes the potent question from Cole: "Could you ever leave it?"

Shockwave stops and looks the place over. His hand soothes over the surface of the table where so many meals and conversations and more had been had. "If you had asked me that before the surgery, I would have told you never. Many lunar cycles since then, I probably could."

Cole's throat bobs. Are they really are on the cusp of this question? "Really?"

"Depends if the right opportunity came up," Shockwave moves round the table and rest his aft to it and putting all those memories behind him.

"And what opportunity would that be?" Once more his throat catches on the question Karma never got to say yes to.

Shockwave on the other hand was the one to ask Megatron to take his spark. Is he really ready to offer the damaged piece again? "You tell me, Cole."

They both just stare at each other. Is someone really going to ask? Is someone going to really beg?

"Are you sure?"

"Are you?"

No one says a thing. Emerald and gold stare at each other asking the silent question over and over again.

Shockwave's cell rings and he sighs heavily answering it with grouse, "No Templar, you weren't interrupting anything important." His antenna fall flat in disappointment and his shoulders slump further as he has to take the important call. "I have the data pad right here, just a moment."

Cole pouts for Shockwave as he has to take the call but slumps against the wall heavily. Shockwave motions to the cupboards and Cole understands it's alright for him to search the place.

By the time Cole has found the device, Shockwave has finished his call. Neither asks or answers the lingering question. Both are just too nervous on top of what is going on this afternoon.

Instead Cole clears his throat, "I guess we better go if we are to swing by the market and pick up the cheese on the way."

Shockwave nods. Slowly he makes his way over to the piano and picks up Megatron's urn of remains and the tattered photo he used to have taped to his locker. "Let's go."


	13. Chapter 13

**S & C 13**

Shockwave settles into Cole's vehicle and lets him takes them to the nearest market, and rubs into his antenna. Cole takes notice of the nervous movement and is concerned it has to do with their unfinished question. He has no idea how to approach the subject. Was it too soon for Shockwave to face the question? Hell is it too soon for himself?!

As he pulls into a parking space, and shuts off the engine, Shockwave sighs heavily but doesn't move from his seat.

"Is everything alright, Shockwave? Was I too forward?" Cole fiddles with his keys.

"Hum, what?" Shockwave seems to break out of where ever his mind had wandered off to. "What are you talking about, Cole?"

"You seemed distracted and I wondered if it had to do with the conversation back in the kitchen," he peeks up from his keys hesitantly.

Shockwave's shoulders slump and he now takes notice of Cole's nervous domineer. "It has nothing to do with that, I have to fly out tonight. I can't stay for the reception as we planned. The project Templar is working on is having difficulties. I need to step in. I'm very sorry, I know you worked hard on this and now I'm going to bail out on you."

Cole actually looks relieved and chuckles, "Oh is that all. I can handle that."

Shockwave gives him a 'smile' and teases, "Life with me is not nine to five as much as I try."

Cole reaches over and holds his hand, "I know. I've known you for quite a while now Shockwave, and I'm fine with it all."

Shockwave nods and gives the hand a squeeze back. Cole knows well enough that whatever problem he is to face really does have a lot of his concentration. When Shockwave had grabbed his case along with the urn, he figured that he just planned to read over some notes or something afterwards back at his place like he does sometimes. He thought nothing more of it, now he does.

"Is it going to be okay?"

Shockwave lifts his shoulders and helm to show his confidence, "I'm sure it's nothing. I just worry more than I should. It's a fault of mine. Come on, we better hurry, don't want to be late and concern your parents."

Cole nods and they head towards the market. Entering, Shockwave points right, "How about if you get the cheese and dip and I'll get the bread and wine and meet somewhere in the middle?"

"Sounds good," Cole enjoys the clear cut organized way Shockwave does things. To an outsider it might have sounded like a cold order, but not to Cole. With all that is weighing on both of them, it was just a blunt simple way to accomplish a basic task. He sighs happily as he ponders it all for a moment.

It's very reassuring being in a relationship with one so organized. Sure there's a few things he gets overly picky about, but then again the older one has his own quirks as well. He takes a moment to watch those violet confident strides walk towards his destination. Once the tall violet form is out of view, the red one makes his way to his own target.

He's onto the second shelf of his query when he hears a voice a bit too close to him. "Hey there Cole, how's it going? Really sorry to hear about Karmashock," no he's not with THAT tone.

Cole lifts his head to face a mech he used to date long before the therapist. One who had broken his spark, but that had been a life time ago, so it feels. Already he had felt more mature in his relationships when he started dating Karmashock, but courting Shockwave has made him feel a thousand times more mature compared to this mech. This mech apparently still lives a bit more carefree by the way he is looking at Cole and a couple others as they walk by. It's clearly showing he is still loose and frivolous. He hasn't matured, he's gotten worse!

The Dauphin shakes his head and goes back to his browsing. At one time this green mech had been optic candy and all charms. Cole fell for his lines and lies. Like a fool he had easily given over money and time to this mech while he used Cole's generosity and feelings like cheep paper towels and when the break happened because Cole got tired of it, this twit tried to guilt trip him into staying in the bed of lies. Even now, he thinks he can worm his way back into Cole's good graces with those words and lingering glances? Oh wait, his optics are straying again, no surprise.

"Well well, now THERE is a fine example of Primus' greatest master pieces."

Cole can't help but turn to see who has captured this mech's attention so fully. The helo-bot's back pulls up straight and proud seeing the most gorgeous mech alive coming his way. He can't help but smirk a little when he sees Shockwave put a bit more to his commandeering walk making that tasset resting on those damn seductive hips glide and innocently roll in offering to Cole alone. To top it off, pulls his helm just a bit more proud catching the green optics in his golden sights. Damn if that was what new recruits saw coming their way, no wonder they cowered. Weather in lust or fear he can't decide but they were as doomed as he is now. He pulls his lip into a soft bite, and Shockwave gives him a flick to his winglets. That flick and those hips let Cole know he sees him and is coming straight for him. Cole can't help but lower his helm a little in a flush and bite down harder.

Talk about the charming one.

"Mr. Shockwave, damn what a mech. All prim and proper like that, I bet he has the tightest aft on the planet. Mm, what I would give to get into it! Hell, he can have mine! Too bad he's bonded to one arrogant son of a bitch. Can not understand what he sees in that piece of rough work."

Cole can't help but cock a brow as the green one tries to pull himself up taught and straight as if he is as refined as Shockwave. "You know, I tried once before at a business conference, but who knows, maybe it only takes a second look for him to get the hint I have something way more than that burly bastard." With a final wink he smirks, "Even if for just one night I could rock his world more than that dumb digger. Hum, maybe even so much as to get a second night? What do you think?"

Cole just shakes his head again. This guy has certainly gotten a lot more crass and cocky over the vorns just proving the point that he is all show and has got no redeeming qualities to go with it. Still it is a bit amusing to watch this guy try to play it up to Shockwave of all loyal bots.

The medic waits and genius slows up next to him. The violet one plays it off as if the green mech is just another customer even though he knows there is something more going on here. After all, he can read body language as easily as Cybertronian.

The whole time he was striding over to Cole, he knew it was time to answer the lingering question from the car and kitchen. It just took that one mech looking at both he and Cole that way to make him realize, it's time to stop pussy footing around. It's time to take the plunge. He's ready, hopefully Cole is too. Who is he kidding, Cole started the conversation!

"I found that bottle you liked, what did you find?" Shockwave shows the label standing ever so close to let his light dose of cologne finish off intoxicating Cole's spark.

Cole does enjoy this vintage and Shockwave's close warmth. He knows this bottle will be for just the two of them and a special candlelit night. Obviously that will have to be had on another night. "Good choice. Do you think this will work with your set?" He holds up the cheese he found.

The green mech's jaw drops, "Hey Cole, you know Shockwave? You never said you knew him."

Cole smiles quite proudly, "Well you never really asked."

A puckering scowl comes over the other to Cole being so coy. "Oh really and just how do you know him?" He plants his hands to his hips tapping his pointers towards his cod trying to distract the genius's gaze lower in a better offering.

Cole looks up to Shockwave as to how to answer the question. With a rise of the antenna, Shockwave looks only to Cole's sweet jeweled optics and finishes the conversation from earlier.

"I am Dr. Cole's betrothed," the English voice is very honored to announce.

Cole's jaw drops. He said it. He officially said it. This is not a tease or a ploy or even stated just to throw the other mech off. Not with that look on Shockwave's honored and dawing face. Shockwave is making his promise clear before he heads off on another mission. An answer that Cole didn't fully receive from Karmashock Shockwave is declaring now and publicly. Even more pointedly, on the afternoon that they lay Megatron's remains to rest and completely let him go, Shockwave is making his promise for the future with Cole.

The red and white form is sure he is going to melt when a lilac hand sips around his waist and hold him to his side still not breaking their optic contact. The world could implode right now and Cole could die happy.

Instead, the green mech jerks his shoulder roughly into the checkered one. "You sly dog! You were the one to get him to leave that arrogant bastard, way to GO, Cole. Didn't know you had it in you to break a bond."

Shockwave turns his helm rather deadly towards the other, "Excuse me? What did you say?" He is furious that anyone would imply that Cole would be so dishonorable, never mind his own honor and dignity.

Green Meanie flicks his hands up, "What? That jerk of a mech you were with was-"

The English seething hiss comes out, "Was my mate, and I would appreciate it if you would respect the dead," Shockwave is quite sharp with his reply making it clear that neither himself or Cole would ever do something so sleazy as to have an affair. On top of that all, Shockwave lost someone tragically.

All color drains from the other. "Oh geeze, I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Close your mouth," Cole puts a finger through the air, he will not let this crude bastard ruin this moment for him. Without another word, the purple one turns aside taking his future bond mate with him.

"I wasn't kidding, Cole," Shockwave makes it clear as they make their way to the checkout unable to remove his arm from his future. "I'm ready."

A hand squeezes down keeping Shockwave hand in place on his hip, "I know. You have always been a mech of your word and honor." The squeeze is returned.

As the items move along the conveyor, Cole gives Shockwave a sideways smile, "If my mother thinks we are going with a traditional one vorn engagement, she's crazy."

Shockwave laughs warmly cocking the antenna in opposite directions. "Well we already had a longer engagement than I had with Megatron." Cole has to cover his mouth to keep a hard laugh from escaping. Shockwave can't help himself but lean in and whisper into his audio, "I guess I can wait until we get to the car."

That one Cole can't keep back even though his cheeks are flaming hot at the imagery. Both mechs are too proper to actually do that, but still it's an amusing thought.

"Oh hello, Dr. Cole and Mr. Shockwave. So what are you two creating this time?" one of the regular cashiers smiles sweetly to two of her favorite customers.

Yes, they have been a regular item haven't they if the regular clerk knows that these two enjoy cooking together. They waited just the right amount of time to make it official.

"Fondue," Shockwave warmly tells her.

~~8~~

Before the rest of the guest arrive, Cole and his parents surround Shockwave as he digs up the softened area where Karmashock's headstone will be snuggled into place. Once again, Shockwave pops the pins to the urn. The first thing he does is take the violet titanium ring out and set it first into the ground. It was a hidden mark of Shockwave upon Megatron. It brought them both pleasure to physically and deep in the spark. Megatron more than proudly wore Shockwave's colors.

With a deep silent sigh, the violet and lavender glassed chest rises and falls. He's going to do this. He's going to finally release it all. Sure he has been dating and bringing Cole more and more into his life each day, but in order to take Cole fully into his life and allow himself to fully move on, he has to fully let go.

With a tip of the box, the ashes fall out of the box and back into the Motherland Megatron had worked so hard to recreate. No one else had the cogs to rise up and say enough was enough. He did. He had the cogs to say there had to be more freedom. He helped Shockwave be more than anyone else ever thought a half-droid could be. Megatron saw more in Shockwave than anyone. Likewise, Shockwave saw more in Megatron than anyone else did.

With the last of the ashes tamped out, Shockwave sets the urn aside. Its there that he sees the silver ring on his hand. Still no one says anything, for this is his moment. Wolfgang and Victrola cling tightly to each other knowing how easily it could be one of them laying their own mate to rest so he can move on in life.

With a silent deep breath, Shockwave starts to pull at the ring on his hand again. This time it does budge and comes over the knuckle, but before he can completely remove it, soft white fingers stop him. Shockwave stares at their hands swallowing down the lump in his throat. The white tips slide the ring back on making the moist golden optic turn to the greens one knelt beside him.

"I want to add to your life. I will never ask you to forget him. If anything, I am grateful for him being a part of your life. If it wasn't for him, I never would have met you. Keep him."

That does make for a shaky breath in the widower. Carefully laying his hand over Cole's, he has him help push and cover up the ashes. With a glance up, he asks the other two to help. In a moment, the four of them have not only covered the ashes, but have moved Karmashock's stone into place.

No sooner had they done that, than the Rabbi and guest begin to arrive and gather for the official dedication to the headstone and memorial. Perfect timing.

As soon as the memorial service is over, Cole excuses himself from the reception long enough to take Shockwave to the shuttle port where he can take the company shuttle away. Lingering kisses on the tarmac, make it clear they will not be able to stay betrothed long.

"I'll try to be back soon. Go ahead and tell you parents."

Cole shakes his head, "No, not without you, Shockwave."

"Alright, have it your way," and gives him a lingering kiss. "I love you very much, Cole."

"I love you, too Shockwave," and reluctantly steps back to allow him to go. Standing up against the building, he can't help but feel his spark pang in worry. He knows it's irrational, but considering what they have both been through, it still pangs.

With a sigh, he knows he needs to head back to the reception. Back among Karmashock's family and coworkers and even some of his patients, it's good to see them all again. The smiles and warm words they are giving him about courting with Shockwave is exactly the support he needed. It leaves him biting his lip hard when Cera asks him:

"Do you think you two will ever bond?"

Cole smiles, "One day I hope so, but we will have to wait and see what happens."

Cera gives his arm a squeeze, "Don't wait too long," and heads out. Cole watches Karmashock's first love walk away. It means a lot coming from one who had let another go. Sure she was angry and a bit mean to Karmashock in the break, but eventually, she did accept the new relationship. She even had a few teases for them about her not being the right one, but Karmashock always made it clear their bondhood was not a mistake. It was moment he always looked on fondly (minus the last few fights of course). Cole never held it against her. It's a fact of life, and now… he has a new one.

After the last of the guest are gone, Cole takes a lonely starlit walk back to his own home. He's so happy, he could feel his spark burst. Shockwave said yes! Shockwave said YES! The quad of blades tingle and twitter against his back as he makes his way home. It doesn't really bother him that much that his home will only contain himself tonight for soon enough he will have a home WITH Shockwave, wherever it may be.

To his surprise, there's a message on his phone when he arrives. Activating the voice mail he hears the delicious English accent of his betrothed beloved, "Hello Cole. Just wanted you to know I made it safely and one other thing…. I love you very much."

And it clicks off.

So simple. So to the point. 'I'm safe and I love you.' So poignant. Just like his Shockwave. That's right, HIS Shockwave. He can't help but squeal out and giggle of delight.

~~8~~

Back up in the master berth room of the mansion, Wolfgang watches Victrola put the last of the cream to her bare shoulders as he folds the berth coverings back. "So, how long before the announcement?"

She catches his optics in the mirror before her, "Announcement or actual act?"

Wolfgang chuckles, "Oh you think they already have bonded?"

She turns and cants that knowing helm of hers, "No, they haven't bonded yet or else Cole would be acting way differently, but, they are definitely getting very serious."

Wolfgang lays himself down and pats the berth for her to join him, "So, when? Want to make it a bet?"

Victrola slips in beside her larger mech and plays her finger over his own spark chamber. "Humm, I say as soon as Shockwave gets back from his business trip those two will have something quite serious to discuss with us."

Wolfgang hurrs with his deep voice into her soft sensuous touches and nuzzles his bearded chin into her throat, "No bet there, for I agree wholly."

"Wolfy, try as you might to distract me, you still have to make your guess."

He chuckles in giving her a nip and then a little lick, "Love, all this talk of romance and bonding is making me all warm and excited."

Her other hand slips around his side and up to his rotor, "Wolf, pick a date or I won't give you my spark."

He pulls back just a bit and pins her with his deep hazel gaze, "Dearest, I have your spark and can't thank you enough for our son."

Her whole body sinks into his deep consuming love. "I love you too, Wolfgang. You have made us a wonderful son."

"Couldn't have done it without you, Victrola," his chest plates part bathing her in his love.


	14. Chapter 14

**S & C 14**

When You Say You Love Me: Josh Groban watch?v=_tmrumOnvcc

Just as Wolfgang and Vicky had presumed, a few days after his return to Kaon, Shockwave invites them over to his penthouse home for a special candlelit dinner on the balcony . Cole arrives with his parents because he was running late from the hospital. He had managed to toss the scrubs in to the hospital laundry, but he was still sweaty under his armor from the extended shift. One of the other doctor's mate had gone into labor and so he took over his shift.

With an apologetic grimace, Cole shies away as Shockwave leans towards him, "I'm sorry Shockwave, but I stink. Please, I need a quick wash."

Shockwave nods understanding all too well as a perfectionist himself. A few times he himself had taken a turn in Cole's shower after spending time with the construction crew before Sabbath meals. Cole dashes away closing the berth room door behind himself.

Vicky looks around the suite, "This is very charming. I know I've been here before, but still." There is one thing she notices is very different tonight; the piano is uncovered. The shroud-protective velvet blanket has been removed and the lid is propped up as if waiting to be played. She makes her way over to it admiring the two tone color and intricate scrolls to the music rest.

"You really made this?" It's too precious for her to even touch.

Shockwave comes out of the kitchen with the bottle of vintage, but instead of taking it to the table, he comes to her side to admire his work with her. Much like a painter would with a piece of his own work with an admirer. "I had help, but for the most part, yes I made it for Megatron."

There is no hitch to his voice nor is it cold facts, just right now the middle of calmness. Warmth towards the gift and all that it had been and yet knowing it's alright to move on. Her hand lightly slips through his bicep as if to give him a soft hug, "Will she ever sing again?"

Shockwave may be a logical mech who sees equipment as just that, objects, but to hear this sentimental femme treat an object he made in love as a living being, it warms his spark deeply. His answers as a whisper, "I don't know. Who would I give it -her- to?"

They both just stare at the piece unable to move. When the berth room door opens to a fresh clean mech, Vicky finds the answer, "Your future?"

Shockwave blinks to her confused, "He doesn't play."

She smiles and stretches up on her toes to kiss his cheek, "You'll think of something,…. Son." He never ceases to flush when she does that to him. It's when she steps over to her own son to give him a matching kiss and show him her gratitude for being an honorable mech in helping another bot out, that he sighs happily. Just like his father, that's when hits Shockwave what she meant.

It hits him so hard that he sinks to the piano stool reflecting on his final mission with Megatron. Only he knows that tucked into this piano is the last note Megatron ever wrote him with the drawing of them as a future family. Shockwave looks back over to Cole standing between his father and mother. Their heir. Their combined love brought to life to continue their legacy of love and family. He sets the bottle down and rises slowly to stand.

The English voice is low and a bit caught as he holds a hand out. "Cole, is it time?"

Cole steps away from his parents to make those swift steps to his love, trying hard not to run. Shockwave looks to him with all hope and promise nearly ready to take those vows right here and now and hopes that Cole is ready to break the news. Cole takes Shockwave's hand pulling it tight to his chest and turns back to face the two bots who brought him forth and taught him all about honor and dignity. "Mom, Dad… Shockwave and I are betrothed."

The flyer was pretty sure what his parents would say, for they have never been shy to state how much they adore and admire Shockwave. Likewise, Shockwave has made it clear how much he respects and honors them. Not just as parents, but as citizens too.

Wolfgang pulls tearing Vicki to his side. He has to cough to clear his own budding emotions before trying again, "Well I only have one question for that."

Shockwave's shoulders go taught with concern, "Yes?"

"How much time do we have to pull this shim-dig together?"

Vicky slaps Wolfgang's chest although stifling a sniff, "Oh my gosh, this will be no shot gun service!" Then she turns to Cole, "Unless you have something else to tell me?"

Cole flushes so deep his cheeks match his armor, "NO MOM!"

Shockwave lays a hand over the piano's surface knowing exactly what she is implying now and earlier, "Not….yet, Mu'am."

Cole turns to step in front of his future bondmate, "What are you saying, Shockwave?"

A hand pulls away from the piano to cup Cole's cheek while the other curls around his hip and pulls him closer between his knees as he sits back down. They are almost flush chest to chest when he makes his request, "I don't want to wait long for a family, Cole. Even if you don't want to carry, then we will adopt, I don't care. I'm sorry I can't carry your heir for you." His voice cracks right there at the end. He knows it's no secret with the other two, after all one had performed the surgery that rendered him barren.

Cole cups both hands around Shockwave's antenna pivots and tips his helm to face him directly, "I would be more than honored to carry OUR sparklings. They will not be heirs. They will be our sparkling children."

"I love you so much, Cole," that soft English voice is so honored it waivers.

"And I love you right back if not more," The American accent reverberates back his love before kissing his love.

Wolfgang and Vicky make their way out to the balcony so the couple can have their moment alone. The femme mother is embraced and surrounded by her son's father as they watch the stars come out.

As Shockwave and Cole kiss into that promise, Shockwave reflects again. Chaos had been a father of formal means and strict rules. Megatron had been a leader with protocol and ranks. It's not hard to see why the droid in Shockwave went from one master to another. Yet over his vorns of being bonded to Megatron, the silver mech had unknowingly been breaking down and rewriting that core programming. Megatron was showing him what a mate should be and how to be one back. Right there at the end, even as Shockwave was still trying to bring Lord Megatron an heir, Megatron was trying to give Shockwave a true family.

It has finally come through. Even though he is kissing Cole, he has to say thank you to Megatron for pushing him and eventually changing him. The final transformation was not until he started interacting more directly with Wolfgang and Victrola. They showed him what parenthood should be. This is the parenthood Megatron wanted with him. Would he ever have been able to fully release the 'Lord' title, who knows? But with Cole, he knows they will not be master and servant, they will be a partnership.

As Cole is kissing Shockwave, he can't help to think of Karmashock as well on this betrothed night. Could he truly have been happy with Karmashock if he didn't want more children? Could he truly have been happy with Karmashock if they never did bond? Probably, but he would also be wondering and possibly felt like a piece of himself was missing forever. Karmashock has truly taught him patience and also perseverance.

Cole pulls back with a final plucking kiss and then presses his forehelm to Shockwave's. "Karma…"

Shockwave blinks, "Excuse me?" He will never be upset if Cole calls him or even compares him to his former love. For he will never stop loving him, and if anything, it's a compliment. Still, he ponders, "Karma?"

" 'What goes around comes around.' Or, "Do unto others what you would have done to you.' Karma." Cole shrugs lightly.

"I'm still confused." Shockwave pivots his antenna.

"All the love I have given out and waited for has come round back at me. The family you were denied with Megatron will come soon, too." He beams a cheeky smile that could have come straight from the light blue or even the great silver mechs, "Karma."

Shockwave can laugh lightly in agreement to that. "Karma."

The timer goes off and the two mechs rise to bring dinner to the table. Over the meal, the official bonding service is discussed. It's been a very long time since Shockwave has been to an elite bonding ceremony. The war didn't leave a place for it and in civilian life, Megatron and Shockwave were not running in the elite circles (even though they could have if they wanted to! Hell they had enough credits to buy themselves into anything!)

Wolfgang and Vicky are respectful to the fact that Atheist Shockwave will not be taking their typical religious vows. Cole may not be the best attendee to the orthodox services (considering his occupation), but he does have his core faith. Shockwave does see a bit of similarity to both Megatron and Cole in that respect, although Megatron was a bit more angry about his religion. Cole is a bit more modern and not so orthodox as his parents in following the rituals.

Shockwave reaches over and takes hold of Cole's hand looking to both of the parents, "I promise you this now and forever, I will be a loyal bondmate. Cole will never have to worry of me straying. We will fight, it's a given, but I will never abuse our relationship. I have no problem stating that publicly even if I do not swear it to your god."

Wolfgang nods. He has known and worked with several droid and even mixed breed races of different proportions thus he can understand what the purple MECH is saying. "I know, Shockwave, I know your spark is pure." Then to lighten the subject pats the hand, "I saw into it's core."

Shockwave's helm dips to stare at his plate. It's very much a compliment to his honor and to his science mind, too. "Thank you, Wolfgang." With a soft turn of his helm, "I will try to be an asset to your family name."

"You already are. This ceremony is only a formality, you have already been part of our family for lunar cycles." Shockwave feels his spark flare and swell so tight it could burst. They took him into their sparks before he even thought of having Cole permanently part of his life.

Vicky picks up her glass and waves it to the suite, "So, have you two discussed where you will be living?"

Shockwave turns capturing Cole optics, "Some place that will be ours. This was for Megatron and I, but I need someplace different to start anew."

Vicky warns, "Not too far away, please?"

Cole chuckles, "Never too far Mom, I promise."

Shockwave nods, "Agreed. Sparklings need grandparents like you in their lives."

"And the piano?" Vicky asks leadingly again.

Before Shockwave can answer, Cole does, "It's coming with us. I will NOT allow a piece of beautiful art created by my mate's own hands go to just anyone. It's coming home." Shockwave is about to say something but Cole puts up a finger, "Unless you want one of our first fights to be public, I suggest you just say 'Yes, Cole.'"

Shockwave can't help but blush and chuckle muttering, "Yes Cole."

Wolfgang pat's Shockwaves hand, "It gets easier to say over the vorns, trust me."

Vicky slaps him playfully with her cloth napkin, he just laughs back at her.

The parents leave shortly after dessert and that leaves Shockwave to open that bottle he had been saving. Cole watches as he pours a generous amount into the glass. Setting the bottle down on the mantel, Shockwave taps their glasses together, "So in less than a fortnight, we will be One."

Feeling a bit brazen, Cole teases and toys his fingers under the lavender glass piece, "Unless …."

Shockwave carefully tugs the white hand out, "Cole, I love you very, very much, but I have great honor for you as well. You have never bonded before, and I will make it memorable for you. I don't want it to be rushed and then ruined."

Cole curls their fingers together, "You can't blame me for being a bit paranoid I won't ever get it."

"No, I won't blame you at all for that." He takes a generous drink and pulls his lover closer, "As long as you don't blame me for wanting it to be perfect."

Cole sips his own drink, "Um, yes well, that I can relate to, unfortunately. Down side to being a perfectionist." The taller mech takes a deep slow draw to his glass watching those green optics over the rim the whole time.

Cole knows him all too well. With the antenna perked that way, the slight forward curl to the shoulder, his half-droid mech is giving him a Cheshire's grin. He's up to something. Carefully the medic takes another generous drink himself and waits.

He doesn't have to wait long. Shockwave slips his hand around the waist and brings it up the back. "How about if we make something else perfect tonight?" He finishes his drink and sets the glass beside the mantel. Yes, he 'downed' the expensive bottle that was supposed to be savored and enjoyed.

Cole takes in another drink to really feel the tingle and goes forward running a hand up a silky antenna. "And what do you mean by that?"

With a careful flick of his experienced fingers, all four blades fall into his waiting hand. Cole takes a gasping breath. Since when did Shockwave learn to do that one handed? He has no time to ponder it, for with a slight crouch, Shockwave lays the delicate pieces flat to the floor. He most certainly does not want to bend or damage something so vital to his dear mech's flight. As he rises back up though, he captures Cole around the knees and lifts him off his pedes.

"We are taking that berth with us. It's OUR berth," he plunges a consuming kiss over Cole. The red and white arms wrap around the violet helm and returns the hard kiss. Who knew that Shockwave would be so sentimental about such a thing, but then again, he had said he abandoned the other berth not long after the deaths.

Shockwave lays Cole out on the berth beneath him and kisses his way down while undressing them both. Cole does his best to help, but is helpless with those holographic kisses doing things to his naked form. Even the medic in him can not understand how, but they are still there and sending him moaning in ecstasy. After all that isn't just an optic light to his face, it's a sensor and so much more.

"Shockwave…." Cole rolls the name out over his tongue, "Please, let me touch you."

The taller mech lays himself out and tugs the white hand closer giving him free rein to his body. Cole doesn't push that one issue. Although Shockwave hasn't said anything, he knows that he still isn't ready to release that access point to him. Still, Shockwave certainly has not stopped him from rimming and exploring with his lips, for he sees the pleasure it gives his lover, not to mention what it does for himself to curb the need a bit.

As Cole leans in to stroke and pan over that belly that has more than returned to its tone up shape since the surgery, Shockwave returns the touch by soothing over the small of the flier's back. Tonight as the white hands play over his pelvic region, Shockwave curls up and splays his hips wider. Cole is very surprised when the lilac digit slides it's self over the top of the exploring white one and then presses them both … in.

A most gorgeous moan comes out of that splayed violet mech making his sable unit tighten a full salute his lover. Cole's own bright red one returns the gesture as he too moans, "Oh Primus Shockwave, you didn't have to…"

The taught belly pants and reaches out to snatch black and red together crying out, "I need it, please!"

There is no way Cole can deny the request. Lean soft digit with extra sensitive pad that is used to performing the most delicate of procedures makes it's way further. It is ever so careful of the virgin-like area. Shockwave needn't worry, for the skill and love make the touches ever so sweet.

The lilac digit tries to guide the other towards his sweet-spots, but soon releases it's guiding pressure to enjoy the sensations of the other's exploration. After all, that is part of the pleasure: finding your love's hot spots on your own.

Neither is disappointed. If anything, Shockwave's delighted 'ah' and 'umm' just seems to instigate Cole's own vocal replies. Likewise, his red pelvic stokes against the thickest sable piece of the other, making them hotter and hotter breaking out in a sweat of restraint.

Together they explore the soft and abandoned area of the taller mech. Side by side they lay and bring each other to a cresting height. Genius and Medic know just what to do even if the bodies are the ones running the show and not the brains.

As the cables are frictioned harder and harder together, the two fingers are also bringing forth a wetness he didn't know he could produce anymore.

Shockwave is seriously considering giving Cole his bonding gift now, but he knows he promised himself to wait. It would ruin the moment of that night if he caved now.

With a jerk, he removes his hands from within and from around both cables. He's cresting too fast on top losing his battle to stay restrained. Cole continues watching Shockwave arch completely back and whine, "Oh Primus COLE."

There's a hint to that internal struggle, which makes it clear that Shockwave needs a moment to get himself gathered. Cole can also feel the full effects of the vintage grade from dinner and dessert taking hold of him. With him not being on-call, Cole knew he could indulge in the drink and overnight companionship. An extra moan from his betrothed, causes Cole to look more carefully at him. Shockwave is more than taught in restraint. Every muscle is strained to it's limit. Not good.

Cole releases the mech as well. A single 'wimp' escapes the elder one and then he relaxes. The younger one is still primed and yearning. There's a scent in the air driving him to further intoxication. He still has a loose grip on his cable as he brings his coated finger up to his mouth.

Hearing a new hum from his berthmate, the violet helm turns and if he could; gape. Cole is more than enjoying licking his fingers clean of the gift Shockwave gave him. Seeing that Shockwave is enjoying watching him savor the taste, the red tongue makes slower darker swipes while slowly pushing his own cable through his remaining hand.

"Oh…., Cole." Shockwave reaches over and cups the padded hip. It so turns him on when noble Cole just lets himself go. The vintage grade and the amorous arousal is certainly releasing the medic quite well.

With a final suckle, Cole pulls back rising to his knees, "Dance with me, please?" Shockwave blinks, but lets Cole guide him up into a similar stance. To his joy, Cole pans his hands out over the chest and then slides them down the taught torso until he is down on all fours. Shockwave watches and then, throws his helm back in a cry when Cole drops all the way down. The red cable is palmed and the black one is swallowed deep and hard with a white hand on it's lover's white hip. With a tug on light colored hip, the dark colored one dips in sync. Now Shockwave understands, and begins the dance. He cups noble helm as if holding the small of his back in a traditional dance.

Weather it be the drink or the bodily heat, both are mewled in intoxication together. The waves of sweet adoration crest and curl bringing them higher and higher together. "Nah, Cole…." Shockwave croons and pulls back.

He needs Cole more than this. The dear sweet emeralds look up to him in concern. Shockwave shakes those concerns away when he tugs on the knight's helm and then tips to lay him back out flat. Carefully, Shockwave lays himself over his love, bracing himself on forearms beside that noble's helm. "I wish I could thank Primus for bringing you into my life."

Cole knows that's the closest Shockwave will ever get to giving his god a praise. His own hand comes up and brings Shockwave's own helm closer. "Alright, then I will instead," and pulls down for a grateful kiss wrapping his legs around those luscious hips.

Shockwave loses himself in Cole's kiss and body.


	15. Chapter 15

**S & C 15**

art/Wedding-Rings-78493812

The bonding date has been set. The service is being planned. Now comes the really hard part: moving. Shockwave and Cole walk from room to room looking at what there is in the penthouse.

"Wow, you two really were pretty simple, weren't you. I don't know why I didn't notice it all before."

Shockwave shrugs and then opens the door to the storage room. Both of them groan. "Damn, this is bad."

Shockwave nods, "I know. I have gotten a few bids on the penthouse already."

"Are you alright with it?"

Closing the door to the dungeon, Shockwave shrugs, "It's just a building."

Cole crimps down on his arm, "No, it's not. I had a horrible time closing out Karmashock's apartment. I have all his files in secured storage at my place just incase any patient or new doctor needs them, but still. His desk. His laptop. It was tough."

Shockwave pulls Cole close, "One of the nice things to my droid half is finding a new love. I'm excited to make all new memories. Taking that berth down was probably the hardest, but knowing you want the piano to come with us, I'll be fine." He gives his sweet betrothed a kiss to make it clear he's alright with moving out and starting in a whole new environment. Wandering hands make it even more clear, he's very excited.

He chuckles, "Too bad I got rid of the ute, we sure could have used it."

Cole runs his hands down the sexy aft and smirks, "Ah, well it didn't fit your sleek style anyways. Now come on, the movers will be here in a couple days for a quote. What are they going to take?"

Around and around they go making the plans with all the excitement of young mechs moving out for the first time!

It's not just the penthouse that has to be dealt with. Cole's house needs to make room for the new inhabitant, too! With much debate and even a fit of 'narrow minded jokes' they both throw up their hands in frustration.

Cole waves his hands through the air. "Look, I have a very ill mech back at the hospital and I need to stay close. Unfortunately that means I might not be able to go away for our honeymoon."

Shockwave pulls Cole down into his lap in the favorite chair, "I don't care about a trip. I just want you all to myself. That first week of our sparks getting used to each other is all I care about." He pulls Cole in even tighter, "I can not bare to be away from you."

He has to swallow down the torment of his weeks of torture after finally getting fully bonded to Megatron. The separation was pure agony to both of them. A sick feeling waves through him making his grip near crushing on his dear love. "You will not be gone long from my side or else I go with you, do you understand?!"

It's a little bit scary for him to see this possessive side of Shockwave, but the medic knows he better just nod. Knowing the physics and the 'book work' of spark bonding is one thing, experiencing it is a whole other thing. Cole is excitedly anxious to experience it for the first time. Shockwave is a bit scared to death. He didn't have a full connection the first time and the second time he was ripped away from his bondmate. Losing his arm had been far less painful. Needless to say, the worrier has a reason to be nervous.

"Shockwave, you know we could-"

But the violet helm shakes softly. He will not jump the gun, -so to say- and taint the sacred ceremony. Besides he needs a bit more time to get himself prepared. He cups the nobles cheek, "Like I said before, I will make it a perfect bonding night. You have given me so much, please let me give this noble moment to you."

Slightly disappointed in having to wait, Cole nods into the honor, "Alright, Shockwave. I'll let you have your say on that matter. I won't press again."

Shockwave lets out a slow relieved sigh and nods, "Thank you, Cole."

Once more he just nods and snuggles into his future bondmate's protection. "Why don't we just plan on staying here? We can move your stuff over slowly and weed out together what goes into storage."

"Very logical compromise." It's not a cold answer just a perfectly reasonable one. Perfect to the perfectionist sides of them both.

Even so, it was hard for him to walk away that night and go back to his own home. In the morning, both need to make arrangements to get that cyber-week off of work. Shockwave touches the com on his desk, "Mrs. Timeflip, can you bring the planner and come in here?"

The Planner, that means major scheduling. Nothing too new when you consider building and designing equipment that goes all over half the galaxy. Still, the loyal secretary knows her boss all too well: something is up.

She enters and he motions to sit at his desk chair. That's unusual. She does as silently ordered and watches his form carefully set with half his kiester to the desktop corner. One pede is still firmly on the floor while the other is hitched up by this position of thigh to desktop. Both his hands rest atop his hitched up thigh.. He's hiding something under those hands, she can see the pearl white corner peeking out.

"I know over the last vorn and a half you and the rest of the staff have gone above and beyond covering and adjusting for me while I had… personal issues." She starts to open her mouth but one softly raised hand halts that. So she just waits.

"I need to ask you all for one more favor. I need a week off," with that he hands over the white envelope.

She notices it's addressed to just her and her mate. Not just any way, but very formally in a script that is not Shockwave's. "What is this?"

"Just open it."

Timeflip may not have been raised in the elite circles, but she has seen and read enough to know this is something formal. First the exterior envelope is opened. She pulls out the secondary envelope and opens it too. There she sees a name she has seen on the society pages asking her presence to witness the bonding of their son to:

"Oh Shockwave….," her hand flies up to her gasping lavender lips. Protocol be damned! The papers flutter to the floor as she jumps up and embraces him tightly. Even he is a bit surprised to hear her sniffle. He can't help but put an arm around her and return the hug, loosely on his end.

"No fair staining my armor with tears. I still have a meeting to go to today," he gives her back a light pat.

He lets her hug him a bit longer, maybe he needs it himself, before she pulls back and wipes her tears away. "Damn, do you know how many times you have made me cry in the last vorn and a half."

He chuckles lightly and she settles back, "I'm sorry?"

She shakes her head and settles back into his chair. Carefully she scoops up the invitation and looks it over once more. "Dr. Cole? The same one who took care or Megatron after the car accident?"

"The very same one," there is quite a proud lit to his voice.

She looks at it once more and teases, "Damn, Shockwave, you have some pretty high powered tastes in loves."

For that she is given a narrowed scowl. He would purse his lips if he could, instead he picks up her planner and shoves it at her, "Oh, hush. Now, help me with this mess."

She laughs lightly and takes it. "Are you inviting anyone else?"

"Would anyone else want to attend?" he gives a light shake of his helm.

She knows he is asking if anyone would want to bear witness to his personal event in life, and not the fact that it's an elegant upper class event. On top of that, she hears the quietness to his question. He wonders if maybe he's asked too much of his teammates lately.

The loyal blue femme sets the planner down, "Look at me, Shockwave." He does. "They had a black wreath on your door for over a week here. They thought you had died too. When you went back into the hospital, they were constantly harassing me for updates and it had nothing to do with the projects they took on, either." His cheeks begin to burn. "And when you started looking like more than yourself again, they wanted to know why. They were more than curious about you running up to the roof to meet an incoming flyer." She giggles, "You should have seen them craning their necks trying to get a glimpse of him out their windows. That's why I had to arrange a 'whoops call' so he would come into the lobby. They've been dying to see you happy and alive again. It's been killing them to see who has put a pep in your step again."

She taps the invitation. "They wouldn't care if you eloped, they would be there with bells on."

It takes him a few moments to digest all the information. It's still hard for him to grasp that this group would care for him this much. He hadn't been here to see it with his own optic, but he has seen them take on his projects and try their best to get through them alone. They seemed so apologetic in disturbing him at home or calling him to the off-sight installations.

"Really?" He looks to her once more.

Respectfully, she tugs his arm in her own way of asking if she can be the one to break the news. He lets her pull him to the door in his silent way of allowing her. When the door to his office open, she leaves him in it framed while she pings all the offices softly.

"Mechs, could you join me out here for a moment."

Within a few moments, the rest of the design team are standing there waiting for whatever their Senior Draftsman is going to say. He looks to each of them in turn. Some are worried. Some are concerned. Some are curious, but all are anxious.

Timeflip hands him the invitation so he can show everyone. With his elegant soft accent he announces, "I'm getting bonded."

A lot of relieved expressions ripple through and then the bright beaming smiles break out. "Congratulations, Shockwave!" "It's about time" "Thank goodness" When?!"

The purple cheeks go dark. Timeflip sniggers pointing a knowing finger at him, before she breaks in again. "Mechs, he needs time off."

One shrugs, "Well that won't be a problem. Lets go to the planning room and get this done right now."

That's all Shockwave needed. His spark swells with a reinvigorated pride. He's always known he was a likeable mech, but to see it openly expressed just daws him. "Thank you. I appreciate this more than you will ever know."

One bonded mech lays a hand to the shoulder, "You need to be bonded, Shockwave. It fits you well."

Cole's department had a slightly different reaction when they found out. A loud cheer went out getting the nurses and some of the doctors evil looks from some of the healing patient's families. Some of the nurses plant kisses to his burning cheeks. They adore their Dr. Cole and were thrilled enough to hear the rumors of him dating lunar cycles back. Hearing the blessed news to a blessed commitment, just send them ecstatic.

Besides, when was the last time Cole took ANY time off?

~~8~~

The cyber weeks of waiting have now become days. Walking hand in hand along that path Shockwave likes to run along, Cole brings up something, "Karmashock told me that there is an Earth custom of exchanging rings for their similar ceremonies. I would like to give you one."

Shockwave chuckles lightly and reaches into his hip case. On his finger tip he has a simple single band, "I was going to ask you about this. I did some checking and it's made of surgical steel. It's anti-viral and can withstand the harsh solvents you used to sterilize your hands."

Cole lays out his hand and the violet band is handed over. A smooth surface with no place for dirt or contaminates to hide. There is one single round stone though set deep and smooth into the band. Cole taps the blue stone. "What is this?"

"It's a topaz."

Cole looks up into the golden optic and furrows his brow. As an Elite, he knows his gemstones. "I thought topaz were golden yellow?"

Shockwave smiles and pulls a finger from the side of his face near his own golden-topaz colored optic and slides it down until it touches his chest center harboring a sapphire-topaz core, "Hum, normally they are, but there are a rare few that are blue."

Now Cole gets it, Shockwave picked a stone that could represent either his optic (who only sees Cole) or his spark (that beats only for Cole). "Primus, you are such a romantic," and crushes Shockwave into a passionate kiss.

Shockwave lifts Cole just a bit more cupping and molding them together much like their life will be by the end of this cyber week.

"Oh Primus Shockwave, I'm going insane! I need you so bad, it's right there on the tip of my tongue and I can't take it much longer. Please, please, please be there on that day."

Shockwave strokes down his face, "I will be there. I will do everything within my power to let nothing get in my way." He knows Cole is ever so worried another tragedy will come again. Cole is positively trembling in his arms. "Shh, it's alright, shhh…"

With that, he wraps his arms tightly around his betrothed until the nerves calm. "I love you Shockwave. I love you in a way I never thought possible."

Nodding but not releasing Cole, he agrees, "I know, I know. I love you too, Cole. Never forget that, no matter what gets thrown our way."

Cole looks deep into that optic of promise, "That, I will never doubt, Shockwave."

The couple make their slow walk back to the small house and settle down for a private dinner together. Vicky calls over informing them that she got a call from the movers about the delay. There's been a mix up and Shockwave's furniture has gotten misplaced. They lost the piano.

Cole thanks his mother and then sets the phone back to the cradle. "Shockwave, the piano is lost."

The older mech looks to his future bondmate delivering the news of a treasure being lost. Part of him is very sick about it. He has very few possessions he treasures. Even though he was raised in a home of great wealth, his time in the Army and war that torn the planet to ribbons showed how much 'things' mean very little. His isolation taught him the value of relationships over the value of items even more.

Cole's hands are positively shaking in rage. This makes Shockwave quite curious. "Cole, why are you so upset? I'm sure it will turn up or something."

"I-I know you made that to ease a troubled soul. I wanted one of your sparklings to play for you again."

For the second time this evening, Shockwave finds himself folding his love into his protection. Yes Cole is also a mech of great wealth and there are some very expensive items in both his and his parents home, but it just sinks him that Cole would be so upset about one item in HIS life. Now he understands. Cole isn't upset for himself, but for Shockwave.

"I wanted it here for our bonding. I wanted it played for us on that day. I wanted to hear what you created sing for US."

Shockwave kisses his way down Cole's face before he reaches his lips, "There's still time, don't fret." His spark is lurching for Cole and one of the few things he wants for their day.

Cole shakes his head in defeat, "Not by the way they made it sound. One of their trucks is flat out missing, possibly stolen. They may NEVER find it."

Shockwave cups the chin and lifts it making another promise, "Cole, if it bothers you that much, I shall make you another one. I still have my blueprints."

Cole's chest hitches and gulps for air before Shockwave kisses him again sealing that promise. His own spark is hitching and swelling with pride for all Cole is trying to give and save for him.

As much as Shockwave is standing by Cole's side and encouraging him with his medical practice, Cole is comforting and supporting Shockwave's own creations. So much promise and hope they see in each other. This is part of what makes them perfect.

~~8~~

The morning before their bonding ceremony, they are having lunch with Olga, Maxwell, Wolfgang and Victrola going over the last details. At near all the same time, Cole, Wolfgang and Victrola's phones all ping. They each step away to answer and not overlap the conversations.

Cole is first to break the news to the remaining three. "There has been a major accident at the monorail. Dad and I must go."

Olga rises and shoshes her hand to send them on their way. With a swift kiss to their mate and future-mate, the two helicopters take off. Vicky turns to Shockwave, "Look, they may need your help too."

Shockwave blinks, "Mine?" Of all the mining accidents that had happened with Wave Industries and he was told to stand aside while the experts and rescue department did their job, why now is she asking for his help?

She leans in, "That was a test run for a prototype. There's issues with what it hit. You -genius- might be just what they need considering their lead designer was on that train and is currently unaccounted for. It's a disaster, as former soldier, can you can handle it?"

Gulping down, Shockwave nods. She rises and flicks her hand, "Come on. I was asked to assist with triage on sight. You are coming with me and get those boneheads to keep the situation from getting worse. Nothing worse than a chemical plant, high voltage lines, missing politicians, and a car load of sparklings."

"Primus," Shockwave rises swiftly.

On sight, Lady Vicky's status gets her through the press and into the center of the Command Post. "Hello, I believe you all know Shockwave." They look at her perplexed not just for why an elite let alone a nurse is in the middle of their staging area, but why she brought this quiet mech. With a huff she tries again, "Mechs, I would like for you to meet Shockwave, Senior Draftsman for Wave Industries and creator of the space bridges. I think he might be an asset to your team." With that, she steps away and finds a team of EMTs that need her.

"Oh, THAT Shockwave," one dork tries to cover himself.

Shockwave does turn his helm aside for just a moment when he sees the red and checkered Dauphin lift off thumping heavily in his rotors as they are weighted down with a patient. His antenna rise in pride watching him lift off carefully through the tangle of power lines and leaning smokestacks.

And Cole was worried about Shockwave showing up alive tomorrow afternoon!

"We can't get that vortex closed and until we do, that area is completely unstable. The EM pulses it is sending out are just crumbling more and more of the substructure away. Communication is getting scrambled as well. We could lose several more city blocks."

Shockwave leans in, "Vortex? Just what were you transporting?!"

"None of your business," an undercover military bot states quite clear. "Classified."

Shockwave rises to his full command height and glowers back, "Let me get this through your thick egotistical head: This is my home therefore it does concern me. My betrothed is risking his life saving bots from a disaster you created using my technology and you have the cogs to tell me its none of my business?!" He shoves his shoulder towards the war table and looks into the classified manifest.

"You idiots!" And slams a fist down. "Why ever are you transporting that on the same payload at sparklings!"

He turns to the military mech and begins doling out the orders. All heads snap to and do as he says. They maybe questioning why he took over so fiercely, but no one questions how he is handling the situation. Crisp, clear cut orders and compassion towards getting the sparklings taken care of first. Even the military mech finds these instructions rather…comforting. He has no problems following them. He is no fool, he sees a former high ranking commander in his mist.

He does find it curious though, when Shockwave stops in the middle of a set of instructions to watch a Life Flight helicopter swish it's way overhead and land lightly beside the triage tent. With a deep intake of breath making his chest swell and then slowly breathe out, Shockwave turns back to the task at hand.

It took all day and as it is well into the night, Shockwave feels a warm presence coming his way. The vortex had been closed down, but the injured and the dead are still being tallied so they could find out exactly how many are still missing. As he turns, he sees his love looking very tired and soot smudges on his pristine red and white form. Easily Shockwave hands over his mug of warm Energon to the thirsty mech. Guzzling it down, they both watch the Sikorsky and another Life Flight Medic take off.

"I had to come and check on you," Cole sinks to a chair.

Shockwave crouches down before him, "Hey, take it easy. Don't kill yourself saving them. It won't do either of you any good."

Cole's tired smile beams to Shockwave, "I won't. I have an appointment tomorrow with a very important mech."

A deep chuckle warms out and his takes Cole's hand, "Well lucky for you, the clock has rolled and now it's today."

Both of them know, it's too soon to walk away from this disaster. If worst comes to worst, their bonding moment could get pushed back. Cole's greatest fear is just that close. He leans forward closing his optics and pressing his hood to Shockwave's Mohawk. "If I find out who did this and screwed up our bonding moment….I don't know what I will do."

Shockwave wraps his arms around Cole and just holds him tight. He can't blame Cole one little bit. He wants this just as much, but the real world is a hand and there are dead, dying and missing bots to be found who may never see their own loved ones again.

Just as Shockwave is ready to pull back and get back to work, a new bot comes in and makes it clear he's taking over. Shockwave looks up to a general, and knows it's time to turn the reins over. Rising, he does so. Cole rises as well seeing five more Military Ambulance Transports come in.

The general softly orders, "You two, out. You look like you need some rest."

Neither of them are in any condition to drive or fly home. Instead, they head over to the tent set up to refresh the evacuation team. Together they sink down against the wall and lean against each other. Well past dawn; this is where Vicky finds her son and soon to be son in law slumped against each other asleep.

"Hey boys, time to go," she nudges them.

Cole snuggles into Shockwave's wakening side, "Five more, Mom."

Both Vicky and Shockwave give the younger mech a light chuckle. That does bring the sleepy emerald optics blinking. "What?"

Shockwave 'smiles', "Cole, it's time to go and get ourselves bonded."

He raises his helm and looks around. It's clear the main part of the disaster has been handled. All that is left is clean up and wrap up. Nothing that either a medic or a scientist can be of much help with.

Vicky holds her hands out to both of them, "Come on. I'll take you both back. You look like you both could use a good shower."

As Shockwave stands, he can see a smudge mark where Cole's sooted body had pressed against his. It's been a long time since he's been in a war zone. It did thrill him to no end to watch Cole in action.

He strokes down that filthy cheek, "You looked so heroic out there."

Cole blinks, "Me? You're the one who helped them shut down the vortex, Genius."

"I wasn't dodging power lines with someone's life in my hands, Helo-medic."

Vicky giggles again and slips an arm through both of their elbows, "Come on you two humble heroes, Olga has a big mugs of tea and hot bathes for all of us awaiting." She looks up to them, "I'm so proud of all my mechs."

The younger two look at her also coated in soot and life fluids where she had been in the triage tent. With a wink from Cole, both mechs give her a kiss on the cheeks.

"Hey hey! I saw that!" A big burly mech comes up behind them all and scoops Victrola out of both of their arms up into his grasp. Clutching her tight, he gives Shockwave a mock scowl, "Go get your own mate. This one is taken," and strides on past with his love.

Shockwave and Cole are left staring at each other. In just a matter of orns… that's just what they will be:

Bondmates.


	16. Chapter 16

**16 Bonding Day:**

To get the best picture of this: Read the lyrics to the song first. Now, Click the link and bring up the music. Read the story slowly. Let yourself be engulfed by the music. See the slow stair decent and the passionate meeting point?

watch?v=5V9NMd8tfYc Avantasia' What Kind of Love

_I A dream of a dwelling inside, _

_Alone we come and alone we go_

_And who am I to know what I feel?_

_Sympathy that's tearing me apart,_

_Attraction of the distance to a heart _

_or affinity? _

_What if love will leave your heart an open sore?_

_And I can't reveal what even I don't know?_

_The love you feel you waste away on me._

_What kind of love would let us bleed away?_

_NO kind of love would make us bleed away._

_If only you could be the one to take a look inside._

_I feel so incomplete._

_A broken man in need of mother's love._

_I'm suffering in silence _

_And now one wants to see._

_Only God is watching as I bleed._

_A star above-my matching piece. _

_Oh this love will leave your heart and open sore._

_And I can't reveal what even I don't know._

_This love you feel you waste away on me_

_What kind of love would let us bleed away?_

_NO kind of love would makes us bleed away._

_FEEL: That's all you got to do and it will HEAL you._

_FEEL: The pain to lead you home to peace of mind._

_Dwell inside._

_FEEL: That's all you go to do and it will HEAL the wound._

_FELL: There will be a song for peace of mind._

_Dwell inside. _I

As the first few bars of the soft ballad begins pulsing off a piano, a deep cello, a warm bassoon, a sweet violin and a soft drum; Shockwave steps out of the upstairs guestroom into hall to make his appearance. In three strides, he proudly takes his place at the balcony at the top of the ornate curved staircase. Down below the guests all stand seeing him appear and let the music warm up their sparks to what they are about to witness. There are no family members to stand by this proud mech's side at this moment, but he's fine with it, for down below… he knows there is a family waiting to receive him.

As the music crescendos, the soloist steps out. Shockwave turns and his spark pulses hard as she beings to sing and move: There she moves away from the crowd of guests and makes her way to the piano. Not just any piano, HIS piano, he would know her anywhere. The movers hadn't lost it after all. They had brought her here by…

All heads turn to the movement in the outside door way from where Cole came from his own home. Here he takes his place and looks up to his near-bondmate.

The second verse begins and Cole boldly enters the room flanked by his regal parents. He's more than polished bearing the cloaked robe of his long standing heritage. Shockwave had refused to wear one signifying Chaos' lineage, instead choosing to bear one of simple royal purple trimmed in snow and silver. Chaos may have been wealthy, but Wolfgang is near royalty. Cuffs and epilates crowned with full dress cloaked-robe.

Cole's optics widen brightly. He is very impressed by Shockwave's attire and his commander's stance shines right through. The mech is beyond gorgeous commanding everyone's attention and Cole's spark alone.

Likewise, Cole's shoulders and helm are perfectly primed and even that shy smile of his can not undo his poise. The royal red and angelic white only seem to accent his honorable medic's cross and deep warm optics that only see one member of the room.

With the third verse beginning the mech pianist rolls and sings out the promise: Shockwave begins his decent with the cloak trailing softly behind him against the steps. Yes he should be able to make the decent alone, but he can feel his nerves coming to the surface and thus lets his hand slide lightly along the banister for a tiny bit of stability.

For Cole it only accentuates Shockwave's innocent commanding power over the room and pulls him to step away from his parents, making his way alone to the center of the room and under the simple silk-like canopy trimmed in braided white, gold and sapphire. The steps are agonizing slow. There's no quelling the race within their chests. If they could, their sparks would tangle right now! But the ritual must be follow and it takes all their reserves not to race towards each other and finish the healing joining of their needy sparks.

The ballad cries out all they b**feel** /band have become. For so long these two have fought with themselves about their feelings for each other. Did they dare to love again? Is this feeling really for the other or for what they lost? Their sore and bleeding sparks had found a healing power with each other. They took the chance, and let themselves feel again and will never regret it.

No this wasn't a typical song chosen for a bonding ceremony and maybe a vast number of the guests can not understand why this song was chosen, but when Victrola decided on it, she made it clear to the couple, this moment has nothing to do with anyone else but these two. This fits the two of them who had to wrestle so much with their emotions to find each other. Now two will become One.

Nothing will stop them.

That is made quite clear to everyone else when the pair finally meet face to face under the canopy and before his pedes stop, Shockwave cups Cole's serine face and pulling them together whilst the other hand slides under the robe and holds the lower back supportively. "Forgive me," he mutters and kisses Cole full of promise and love. Yes, he is supposed to wait until the end of the ceremony to seal the vows, but song was too passionate and Cole is right there within his reach again. He can not wait to give his spark to the other, so for this stolen moment he will show his encompassing love this way.

Cole leans into the kiss gripping the dark robes to keep his own grasp on the situation, if not pulling Shockwave in harder. He hadn't thought of it, but certainly doesn't mind Shockwave's forward kiss.

The piano's last notes linger to reverberated through the stone room. With a deep cough from Wolfgang. Shockwave pulls back a breath. Cole is still buzzing from being taken unexpectantly but does let a silent smile slip out to show he enjoyed that ever so much.

Shockwave flushes, "Sorry."

Although flushed from the passionate kiss, Cole releases his grip and smoothes the regal fabric, "I'm not."

The Rabbi leans in smiling, "Are you two ready yet? Seeing how we know how this is going to end, shall we at least start from the top?"

Flushing badly Cole and Shockwave step back respectfully and begin the ritual.

"Zweite Liebe: Second Love…"

Wolfgang and Victrola are more than proud to stand beside these two as they take their vows, drink of the Holy wine, exchange bands and once more seal it with a kiss. This time Cole is the one to roll into it a bit more until Shockwave gives him a bit of a chaste growl in warning he will consummate the bond right now if he's not careful!

~~8~~

Through the reception, there is dancing, snatches of food and lots and lots tapped crystal ware where Cole has no problem giving Shockwave a kiss. It may be a public ceremony, but it is still their's. More importantly, one showing their commitment to each other. This is no elite arranged bondhood bringing two houses together. This is a bonding filled with love and promise. Shockwave has his arm around Cole as much as possible. Anxiety to let go of him, maybe, but Cole's supportive hand right over the one on his hip says more than enough. He wants Shockwave holding him close reminding him this is real.

Victrola is more than pleased to draw the two mechs to her side when the massive cake is wheeled out. To their amusement, a stethoscope leans up against a scrolled up blueprint. Obviously the cake is mostly white (a coloring they share), with purple and red accents. A perfect mix. Now for the surprise.

Cole teases, "Do we need a t-square or do you trust my surgical hands?"

Shockwave shakes his head laughing. "Just cut the cake, Bondmate" and wraps his hand around the doctor's. As the slice falls to the plate, Shockwave bursts in delight. "Chocolate!"

The shorter one laughs heartily to his mate's vice. His spark flares. That's right, his mate. As he lifts the piece to Shockwave's unique mouth he whispers, "Can we leave soon? I can't wait much longer."

Shockwave tightens his arm around his bondmate and leans in closer, "Of course." The desire is quiet prevalent in his darkening optic. To a few it might look like it's for the chocolate, but the very devotedly-bonded ones, they know it is for the one lifting the morsel. Shockwave's optic closes off as the fingers reach his 'mouth'. Chocolate from his mate's fingertips… utopia. He takes it and then crushes a kiss on unsuspecting Cole. It's a good thing he had that violet arm around the thick waist, as a vibrant knee buckles, and dips back almost landing into the rest of the towering confection.

"Oh Primus, Shockwave, I can at least wait until I get a bite of the cake!" Cole pants. In nothing flat, Shockwave has slipped a bit of the dessert into Cole's own sweet mouth still bent a bit over his arm and dangerously close to the cake. As he savors the delight, Shockwave takes and extra dip of the icing and touches his lips again before leaning in to kiss him again, "Say your good byes swiftly, Cole," and gives him a plucking teasing kiss before stepping back. Cole slowly licks the icing off his lips watching Shockwave back up. Both of them are getting too anxious for the final piece of the bonding. The actual bonding. Cole is ready to just run and curse the rest of this ceremony. Why didn't he just pin Shockwave down last week and beg for the spark and this could all just be a formality, rather than the other way round?

Because the elegant and honorable mech stepping away from him is just that: a true gentlemech of utmost honor and dignity. How can a mech of such dignity be real?

There are a few bots that came to support Shockwave, but most are of Cole's profession and his family's. One femme and her navy blue mate make their way over to Shockwave as he watches over the congratulations Cole is receiving.

"You looked wonderful out there, Shockwave," his secretary beams up to him.

"It's good to see you bonded again," Barricade grips the former Decepticon Officer's hand.

"Thank you," it warms him so much that they came to give their blessing and support personally. These two he had worked with before and after the war. These two also know exactly what it means to be bonded, so their support means twice as much.

Barricade smiles a whisper, "Shall I cover your retreat, Commander?"

Shockwave chuckles lightly, but then sees another wave of bots coming close. He will never get Cole out of here at this rate. "Damn."

Barricade winks and then grabs his sweet mate's hand. With a whirl, he gets the musician's and begins another round of dancing.

Shockwave slides up to Cole slipping his hand around the waist and dipping it low on the hip while he leans in to his audio, "Come, its time we made a hasty retreat."

They try to head out the back door towards Cole's separate house, but they find the doorway barred by the Sikorsky and his mate. "And just where do you two think you are going?"

Cole flushes hard. His body is tingling in massive anticipation to not just making love be actually becoming a spark mate and now his father asks him THIS? He sighs. "Dad, please don't make me say it."

Wolfgang shakes his head chuckling, "I didn't ask WHAT you were going to do, I just asked WHERE you were going."

Shockwave tries this time seeing that Cole is baffled, "Home?"

Vicky holds her hands out, "Let me see your keys." After exchanging confused looks, the younger mechs do as ordered. To their surprise, Vicky takes her own house key off and exchanges it for Cole's. Likewise, Wolfgang takes the key to Shockwave's penthouse giving over his own to this manor.

"The piano wasn't the only piece of furniture the movers brought over while we were at the accident. Sons, the master suite is yours now." Wolfgang lays his hand up to the balcony where Shockwave had stood earlier. Down that hall is not only Cole's old berth room, but three guest rooms and one large master suite. In essence, the older couple have given the main house to the couple as a bonding present because they know there is no other way Shockwave would accept it. The newly bonded also now know who waylaid the mover's truck!

The violet mech is just staring at his hands with nothing to say so the older mech does, "Go. It's been too long in waiting. Go join your sparks and make this place a family home again."

Cole is dumbstruck as well. He never saw this coming. With a final push by putting the two hands together, the younger bonded pair follow the elder pair's direction and make their way up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, each unties the other's robe, and leaves it to drape over the balcony. A silent sign that the pair have left. No pomp and circumstance, no just a silent slipping away. Let the guests enjoy each other's company as the couple become true bond mates.

Vicky leans into her mate as Shockwave lifts Cole to his arms and takes him down the darkened hall. No one else saw it, too busy partying away, but the parents did.

Down that darkened hall, Cole has to help Shockwave find their new room. With a turn they are behind the door and finally alone. Shockwave lets Cole slide to his pedes and Cole pulls Shockwave into another kiss. By now his lips are so swollen from all the kisses, but he doesn't care one bit. This time the kiss is not chaste or reserved. This is the delving and hard one that makes it clear what the bodies will soon be doing.

White hands pluck and drop violet and white. Lilac ones remove and set aside red and white. Together they draw each other to the berth. Their berth, the one that Shockwave wanted for their bonding night. The one of their first physical joining. Here it is and he grasps Cole by his lovely dark aft and lays him out.

"Tonight, you get more than my spark," he nuzzles in and strokes down his love's side. With a roll, he lays himself back, pulling Cole over himself. "That's right," his thighs part slipping Cole between them. "Take me, I'm yours, Bondmate."


	17. Chapter 17

**S & C 17 Bonding**

{accidents can happen}

Cole looks down on his mate. There is no question about it. Shockwave is letting him in. His shoulders sink a little bit understanding why Shockwave wanted this night to be so perfect. He was giving Cole everything. Body and spark it would be all his tonight. Cole will become his life now.

"I'll be gentle," he soothes with hands and voice.

"I know. I trust you fully, Cole. I always have found great dignity in you. Always, even before, I saw you as an honorable mech." He reaches up bringing their chests closer together, "I'm honored to be your chosen mate."

Carefully, Shockwave pulls his chest plates back revealing his healthy blue spark. He's not watching that though as Cole releases his own exposing his golden life. The expressions are probably matched but it's hard to say when you are engulfed in your love's life-energy.

"I'm ready," Cole softly breathes. He lets the experienced one guide him through this process of first mating. Shockwave is ever so gentle in pressing his life into the other. Cole's head falls back in aw and enrapture to the sensation of being filled and surrounded by Shockwave's essence.

He can feel all the passion and desire Shockwave has for him. Like wise, it bounces back for Shockwave as he feels all the adoration and thrill Cole has for their life together. Infusing each other with promise and hope for their future, the sparks swell and pulse harder and harder together.

Yes, they can feel the ghosts in the back of their lives, but no it does not overshadow what they have here and forever more with each other. The ghosts play no part, their love is pure and true on it's own. That question has been finally answered for each other and for themselves.

Feeling the crest coming, Shockwave pushes down on Cole's aft causing him to press in and be swallowed up. It's quite tight from being unused in over a vorn but it's not painful. Cole is sure he is going to overload already but Shockwave's spark tamps that down a bit with another surge of protection.

The noble medic is ever so gentle in pressing further into his guardian mate. Reciprocating, Shockwave is gentle in his spark thrums and pulses into Cole. Shockwave isn't sure if this bonding is so different because of his missing pieces, the fact Cole is inexperienced in this, or just because it's been so long, but it is a thrill and feels so GOOD to be joined again! He moans out deliciously as Cole flares another wave of adoration into their link. Shockwave feels himself pushing deeper and deeper into Cole's spark searching to latch onto everything.

Like wise, Cole is pushing deeper and deeper into the soft yet firm leathery walls of his lover's body. Shockwave's moans are exciting him further and further. If he thought he was going to crest before, now he knows he is going to positively explode!

"Nahhhh Cole!" Shockwave clenches his hands down on his mate's hips and thrusts up.

"Oh Primus, Shockwave!" Cole cries out. Not only is Shockwave's spark deeply infused into his own and feels like it's latched onto the chamber itself, but those delicious hips slamming up into his, making the hard sable cable smash into his belly is sending him reeling over the edge.

"Um-uh, Shockwave! I-umm- can't-"

"Don't hold back. It's alright. I have you…"

That's all the younger one needs to hear and with a slack jawed cry, lets himself go over the edge filling and falling down into his mate.

Swiftly, Shockwave wraps his arms around his mate releasing his own overload as well. Their sparks burn and tingle with the new experience and twice as hot oil within the chambers.

Cole might be overwhelmed and panting, but he's not sleepy. He's just tingly and most certainly mewled. Weak as a turbo-pup. He just lays there against his sticky and sweaty mate.

Shockwave can feel a tear streak down his cheek. Bonded, again. He forgot how much he needs to feel another pulsing within his spark. It feels so good! On top of all that, physically he's been filled again. Damn that really feels good!

"Can we do that again?" Cole mutters a smirk from his slumped posture atop his heaving lover.

Shockwave chuckles. "Oh you liked that, did you?"

Somewhere he found the energy to turn his red and white helm and stroke a hand over Shockwave's face. "Mm, yes. I can not decide which is more sexy and romantic: your spark or your body. You save yourself for this night? I love you so much Shockwave."

Shockwave strokes the backs of his fingers down the other's cheek. "You deserved a perfect bond night. I may not have -"

"Shh," Cole presses a finger to the sweet mech before him. "You are more than pure." He pushes up and hovers his lips over the other, "You're my bond mate, that is all that matters now." At this close and still tingling from their joining, Shockwave knows what he means.

Shockwave was not a frivolous mech with his emotions or body. He has no regrets to their first spontaneous joining knowing full well they both needed it. On top of that, when he was ready to start dating, he only saw one. He didn't push their courting nor did he hide from it. He simmered it like when they cook together.

Slow gentle massaging of the ingredients. Slowly bringing it up to temperature so the spices all have a chance to blend and rue together. Kisses here. Hand holding there. Teasing there. Giving the other space over there.

Shockwave rolls them both over and this time takes his time making love to his bondmate. Cole won't have it. He reciprocates the touches and tastes. "Mates, we do this together. There is no dominate or submissive here, Shockwave."

For that, Shockwave pulls them both to their knees, face to face. Once more he gives Cole his spark while their kisses knead each other and hands massage into backs and necks. No one 'takes'. No one 'receives'. This time, it's just a partnership of kisses, sparks, and hands tangling and molding together. Together they crest and spill over each other, bathing each other in their expression of love.

Cole does allow Shockwave to hold him up this time though after overloading so much energy and fluid. "Okay, I think I'm a bit tired this time."

Shockwave nuzzles in, "Mm, me too." If he could, he would wrinkle his nose, "But I'm also sticky."

Cole chuckles and pulls back, "Well do I have a surprise for you." Taking Shockwave's hand, he pulls the taller mate into the master bathroom.

"Oh dear Primus," Shockwave gapes. "Is that a hot tub?"

Cole laughs again flicking on the taps. "Not exactly, but pretty close. Dad is not small and does enjoy his bathes." With that, he steps back into the tub and tugs Shockwave's hands to join him.

As he steps in, they both see the candle in the window sill. Beside it is a bottle of sparkling vintage and two crystal flutes. Cole holds the flutes and Shockwave pulls the stopper out to fill them both.

Once nestled together in the soothing hot water, Shockwave smiles, "Are you alright?"

"I'm beyond perfect, Shockwave. You?"

"Perfect. I like the way you say that. Yes, I am perfect."

Cole only gets about half way into his flute before he sets it aside to just snuggle into Shockwave's warm form. Shockwave holds him close soaking in all of this together. He never thought he could ever love this passionately again. Nor did he think he would be such a protector. Guardian of Cybertron was a title that meant something professional and completely different than this personal title as protector.

The smaller frame leaning heavier and heavier into him makes him smile. He hopes that as hard and deep as Cole was penetrating and filling him physically on the berth, that maybe, just maybe he was able to….

"Mm, Shockwave…," the limp medic croons.

"Yes, love?" He nuzzles in.

"I think yesterday wore me out a bit. I'm going to fall asleep right here if I'm not careful."

Shockwave moves setting his own flute aside. "I think yesterday took it's toll on me as well. And as romantic as I would like tonight to be, if I tried to carry you out of this slippery solution, I will probably drop you on that hard floor."

Cole might be exhausted but he still laughs heartily and grabs the side of the tub to sit up. Shockwave steps out first, tapping the plug with his toe in the process. He does turn and take Cole's hand as he steps out and then to Cole's surprise, Shockwave grabs a towel and rubs down his smaller mate, lowering himself to one knee.

"Oh Shockwave, you don't have-"

But that retort is shushed by Shockwave kissing his small paunch and rubbing the towel over his dark aft. "I enjoy taking care of you. I enjoy feeling you alive and warm under my touch. I relish your expressions to my touch. Cole…. I love you so very much."

Cole can do nothing, but let Shockwave care for him because he too is moved by Shockwave's expressions while caring for him. He does sinks down the edge of the tub so he can watch Shockwave dry himself off with the fluffy material. Everything Shockwave does is elegant and graceful. Even his glowering angry glow down to the simplest of tasks like making a berth or folding a damp towel is purposeful and graceful. Cole could just watch the mech all day.

Shockwave can feel the heat of Cole's gaze on him plus the tingle of their bond, ever so slowly, turns his helm over his broader shoulder. Sure enough, Cole is still just sitting there watching him lustfully. "Cole?"

He turns and with those smooth steps of his, even that limp sable unit swishes gracefully between his thighs. Cole swallows down the need to be filled by it. He knows it's got to be the new bond. For there's no way his body could seriously go another round. Three in a row after an absolutely intense day yesterday and an immensely emotional one today? He can see Shockwave bending in ready to lift him, but instead, Cole takes Shockwave's arms to loop around his waist while his own loop around his neck and they back themselves up to the berth. Shockwave does lay him out then and they slip under the warm covers.

"I am not getting out of this berth for the next three days," Cole moans into the cushions.

Shockwave smiles pulling his sweet face to his chest, "Um, I can second that idea."

For as tired as Cole is, his finger plays around the circle on Shockwave's chest, "Are you alright, Shockwave? I'm worried."

"Would you like to look at it, Doctor?" he teases lightly.

"That might not be such a good idea, for I'll just delve my fingers in there and- well we might have other problems."

Shockwave strokes the back of the hand still on his closed chest. "I'm fine, Cole. Yes the bond I have with you feels different that what I had before. No less, no more, just different and perfect. Now, shh, don't worry about me. Unless, there is something wrong with you? How do you feel?"

Cole presses himself closer to that blue warmth, "You feel incredible, Shockwave. If I thought I loved you before, then I have no idea what this is I feel now."

Shockwave 'smiles' and pulls him closer. "Um, I understand clearly."

Cole sighs happily, "I have to tell you this, I had no idea how incredible intense a spark bond could be. Anything anyone told me before, just pales to the truth." He looks up to that golden half watching him, "I understand my parents love a hundred fold."

Shockwave gives Cole his deep promise, "Not yet you don't, but soon I hope you will."

Try as he might to understand, Cole yawns widely and feels his optics closing heavily. "M-kay." Lilac palm soothes into his nape helping him drift off.

There's no further reply from the red and white one. Shockwave looks down to see a most serine expression on Cole's face.

His bondmate. For the first time in an extremely long time, Shockwave falls deeply, safely asleep. All he needs is right here in his arms.


	18. Absolution

**S & C 15**

It took me two hours to write this because the tears kept flowing.

_{Thanks to Megsygurl69 for this question}_

megzysgurl69

You're welcome!  
I read these then I think of what Megatron could be saying about all of this since he was the aggressive and possessive type of bond mate.

NiGhT-sTaLkEr13

Megatron is probably kicking in his grave. Karmashock would be more than willing to let Cole move on, and he'd probably think that Shockwave is a great suitor for him. Megatron would take a lot longer, but I think he'd appreciate that it was at least someone he trusted and knew. But he'd still be rolling in his grave XD Possessive bastard!

_Reminder to all: one of Cole & Karmashock's songs: Never Close Our Eyes by Adam Lambert._

_Megatron atoned for sins by sacrifice for another_

_ISlamming pain to the back of the helm has Cole seeing stars. "And just what the FUCK do you think you are doing with MY BONDMATE, you blood sucking mosquito!" The roar in his audios has him cowering in fear. Unfortunately it's hard to cower when your pedes are lifted off the ground and you are pinned to the wall by your throat in a death vice._

_The green optics open to meet twin flames of burning rage on a death grey face he would know no matter the color; as if the roared statement didn't already identify his attacker. It does make him quirk a brow though when the death face is bathed in a soft glow of a golden light. In a huff, a dark right hand slaps to the circle of glowing light hanging above him like an annoying bug, sending it skittering away. Cole blinks again trying to get a better picture of his surroundings._

"_Let go of him, Megatron!" He would know that Australian accent anywhere, anytime, anyplace. His throat constricts tighter than the other's hand._

_Cole can see a pipsqueak of an arm around Megatron's strong throat from behind trying to tug Megatron back from the choking medic. Megatron keeps his left handed gripped tight to Cole's white throat but does allow him to slide down enough to rest his pedes to the floor. It helps the breathing a bit, but still the brain is more than befuddled._

_With the death-silver arm at full length (draped in a pearly white robe?) Cole can see more. His blue motor bike love slips off the back of the dead tank. He too is illuminated from a golden circle over his head and draped in another pearly white robe hiding all the damaged that caused his death by the other being still keeping him stuck to the wall._

"_Hello, Mate," Karmashock smiles but Cole can't speak back due to the sight of his former lover whom he never thought he would ever see again. His muteness has nothing to do with Megatron's grip._

"_How can you talk to him nicely, Karmashock? Look what he has done!" The wings of raging red and gold flames flare on his great back making Cole shiver again._

_Karmashock plants his fists to his trim hips flicking his own ice-blue feather like wings back, "Yes Megatron, let's look at what he has done."_

_Pulling that white throat and then clonking the red helm back to the wall again (receiving another dose of stars to his vision) Cole watches Megatron bring his right fist up under the motorbike's nose and then dips at the waist to try searing those dear sweet slate optics with his enraged red ones. "Damnit Karmashock, I'm dead can you lay off the sessioning now?"_

_Karmashock knows when he's got the goods and has no problem firing them off when he is in the right. "You're kind of choking the life out of the mech I hold very dear in my spark."_

_Megatron gives him an arrogant smirk. "You don't have a spark, remember?"_

_Karmashock pokes his tongue in his cheek and cants the helm and optics in a classic, _

'_You really want to go there, mate?' The staring continues between the battle tank and Suzuki. Karmashock doesn't budge and orders again more calmly, "Let him go."_

_Megatron doesn't. So Karmashock turns his helm and all mechs look to what the therapist sees. There on a berth familiar to Cole, lays a violet and snowy form face down tangled and sprawled out among more pearly fabric. Not Karmashock's berth. Not Megatron & Shockwave's berth. Not even Cole's berth. No, this is the berth Shockwave and Cole share._

_Karmashock lays a soft hand to Megatron's shoulder and releases a much softer request, "Let him go." They all know he's talking about releasing Shockwave not Cole._

_Megatron's grip may relax on medic's throat but not on Shockwave spark, "I c-can't."_

_Karma cups Megatron's bicep and gives him a soft pull. With all his attention on his mate, his hand loses all interest in killing Cole. Numbly, Megatron makes his way over to the berth and slides to his knees. _

_Cole is now pinned to the wall by his own awe. He knew how arrogant and prideful Warlord Megatron was and he always knew that Bondmate-Megatron was jealous beyond all belief for Shockwave, but this is different. This is deep devotion and honor. Only one has ever seen this mech actually kneel with this expression and right now he is so sound asleep he can't see it. Even Cole feels bad for Megatron not being able to look into the optic of the one he loves. _

_This is no mere crouch, no. This is a reverent kneel like one might have in a temple or a cathedral of utmost Holy ground. Megatron's hand goes to stroke over Shockwave, but it passes right through. Megatron's chest lurches and a choke comes to his throat. He can not even touch his dear love one._

"_I can't let him go, Karmashock. He's my everything. The only one I ever truly loved. How can I let him go? He's MINE!" Once more he chokes._

_Cole finds himself sinking all the way to the floor wrapping his arms around his naked knees. He's no fool, Megatron and Shockwave have a bond that he never had with Karma and never will have with Shockwave. Then again, those two have walked some pretty hellatious roads together. Roads that he would never even dare to look upon let alone walk._

_He watches as Karmashock does what he is best at by laying a hand to the proud and yet crumbling mech. "Megatron, just how much do you love him? Remember we talked about this."_

_Megatron shakes his head, "No no no, Karmashock. That was all just what-ifs, that wasn't real. This wasn't supposed to happen."_

"_He's half droid, you both knew he was going to out live you."_

_Cole's chest hitches knowing he too will probably pass-on before Shockwave. Oh Primus, it's got to be hell on Shockwave to know he could out live all his pure-bot friends. Damn._

_Still the dead bondmate won't let go. "You don't understand, Karma."_

"_Maybe I don't completely, but I do have an idea." His smaller hand lays out to the naked red and white mech huddled against the wall. Megatron turns and sees Cole in a new light. This time he does not see the mech who slithered his way into a sacred berth to betray someone. Karmashock lets his hand slide across Megatron's shoulder as he makes his way over to his former partner bathing him with his own adoration._

_Cole's throat is trying to swallow his tears down as each light step brings Karma back to him, but they still come flooding to the surface. They aren't in sorrow or fear, these are in gratitude and peace. Karmashock lowers his own form before Cole. His hand too passes through Cole, which makes a choked sob break out._

"_I love you very much, Cole. I'm very happy to see you have finally bonded. You deserve to be. You picked a good mech to bind yourself to. He thinks a lot like you and likes all that upper class stuff you do." _

_Cole can't help but choke on his tear filled chuckle. Leave it to Karma to say something so sweet and yet so funny at the same time to keep it light, warm and oh so tender. _

"_I'm more than happy to find you two found solace with each other. You look happy again."_

_Cole nods, "I am, Karma. I really am. I won't ever stop missing you, though."_

_Karmashock gives him a beaming grin, "Well I am quite unforgettable, now aren't I?"_

"_Always and forever I will love you, mate ." Cole gives the mech his own release._

"_I know, I can feel it." This time when his hand reaches out, Cole can feel it on his cheek. He leans into the touch before it slides down to his shoulder and all the way down to take his hand. With a tug, Karmashock brings Cole back to sit on the berth beside his sleeping bondmate. _

_Megatron is right there still on his knees trying once more to touch his sleeping angel, but failing yet again. Cole doesn't touch the sleeping form too afraid to endure the wrath of the other again. More than that though, he respects Megatron's turmoil, how can he just let his bondmate go on with another? The former leader turns his defeated face to the living red and white knight, "Do you honestly love him?"_

_Cole nods and pledges his vow, "Yes."_

"_You'll look after him for me?"_

"_I have and I will, but not just for you Megatron, but for me as well." _

_Megatron searches Cole long and hard like he would when interrogating one of his own soldiers for truth and honesty. He sees it all right there in in Cole's noble face, and mentally kicks himself. He knew it was there all along but just too blinded to allow Shockwave to move on with this mech. Cole has always been a good mech with nothing but honorable intentions on his mind and spark. He would never do something to hurt or betray another._

_Still, Megatron is Megatron. "He was mine first."_

_Cole nods, "I could never take your place in his spark, and I don't wish to." _

_With a mutter from the form beside them both, it adjusts and Megatron can see that Shockwave still wears his silver ring, but on his left hand is now a simple narrow band of white with a simple squared blood red ruby pressed deep and hard into the band. Elite stone but in a rich color. Both of Shockwave's bondmates know what it represents. _

_This time when Megatron reaches out to touch the sleeping form, he is able to lift the hand, "You two always could be a couple of upper class squares sometimes."_

_Karmashock chuckles to the 'wealthy nerd comment', but more importantly he's glad to see that maybe Megatron is beginning to accept this new bond and might be ready to accept Cole's place in Shockwave's life._

_The deceased mate rubs the mark with his thumb, "Cole, you have to promise me to give him something I couldn't."_

"_What is that, Megatron?" He's anxious for an order from Shockwave's first love._

_It takes him several gulps before the words finally come out, "Give him that family he so wants. He will be a damned good parent." _

"_I thought it was you that wanted the family?" _

_Megatron shakes his head bringing those lilac tips to his lips. "Maybe, but I only wanted it because of him. I never have wanted a family for myself. But for him…," Megatron lifts his pleading ruby red optics to Cole's curious emerald ones, "I would have done anything." Just as Shockwave would have done anything for his Lord._

_Karmashock lays both hands to Megatron's shoulders. "It's time."_

_Megatron presses his lips to those tips and the tears slide down his cheeks unabashed. "Please, no. Just a little longer."_

_Karma squeezes, "I'm sorry Megatron, but there will never be enough time. You have to let him go."_

_The great helm shakes so viciously causing the helmet to fling off and the regal crest to flare, "NO!"_

_Karmashock looks to Cole for help. So the white hand lays over the top of the lilac marked one still being held in the larger clasp. "Megatron, I have him now. I will complete your mission." Megatron's blood red optics hold him to that promise. Cole takes a deep breath and says what he should have said a long time ago, "Thank you for trying to save Karmashock's life."_

_To that, the powerful shoulders slump and the hot flaming wings become soft warm ivory white glows. All this time he had been trying to hang onto what was his and never considered what he had taken from the other two. Guilt tears through him, "I'm so sorry, Cole."_

_Cole nods, "I know. You didn't mean to. Your actions were honorable."_

_Honorable. Megatron looks back up to Cole, "And so are yours." He turns Shockwave's hand to weave with Cole's. "Still, if you break his spark, I will kill you. And then you will spend eternity with me." He can't help but give that rakish threatening smile even if it is tear streaked._

_The scary part to that tease, Cole known's he's not kidding: absolution or not. _

_Megatron rises to one knee and strokes over his bondmate's helm. "My ever Loyal Shockwave, be happy and know you are loved forever." He presses his lips to the helm receiving that warm English hum back. _

_Cole feels tears stream down his own face again, this time for the blessing Shockwave did not hear and the gift Megatron has giving to him: his blessing. _

_The final promise is laid with a hand cupping the knight's chin and the greatest of respect waves over him, "I will hold you to that vow, Cole…"_

"_Cole? /I _Cole?"

The green optics blink still seeing stars and a golden light bathing over him. He hears his name once more and then winces when a hand touches his temple. "Oh Cole, I'm so sorry."

Cole tries to sit up but the room spins heavily so he lays back down on the floor. Floor? "What happened?"

"Um... You kind of fell out of berth," the shamed English voice informs.  
"I kind of fell out of the berth? I'm not a toddler!" Cole groans to the thumping on the side of his head. "Why does my head hurt? Did Megatron really hit me?"

Now it's Shockwave's turn to blink his golden orb, "Megatron? What are you talking about? You rolled over and smacked your head on the nightstand before falling to the floor."

Cole looks up to the mech still on the berth. Correction, fully on his side of the berth. He scowls. "You and me are going to have a little talk about this berth war stuff."

Shockwave flushes deep and holds and hand out, "Come back to berth. I promise, I'll be good."

Cole sits up and starts to rise, when the room spins again. Worse, his stomach does. "Oh shit." With a dash he makes it to the toilet in time to purge.

In a flash, Shockwave is at his side and holding his head. After the third launch, Cole slumps to Shockwave's arms and lets himself be coddled.

"I'm not sick so it must not have been the food from the reception. Could it be a concussion from the fall?"

Cole rolls his helm softly against the violet chest. "I don't care. Just hold me." With a swallow, he sags, "Just tell Megatron he will have to try harder than that to kill me."

Quite confused, Shockwave caresses his mate's cheek until he falls back to sleep. Scooping him up, takes the lighter one back into their berth and watches over him while the budding dawn continues to bring on their first full day of bondhood.

Cole didn't bonk his head that hard when he fell, so whatever is he talking about with Megatron? He was thrashing and moaning in his sleep quite hard. If he could, Shockwave would be chewing on his lip trying to figure out if the bond has done something to Cole. Within the process, it wouldn't be surprising if Cole felt Megatron's presence in his blue spark after all, they were bonded for quite a while and Shockwave had been in love with him forever.

The ponderings are broken when Cole rolls over and splays himself out completely over Shockwave, "Mmm, let me in again, Shockwave, please." His kisses pull and pluck over that blue spark chamber. Licking around the rim, Shockwave would never be able to resist for long. The plates pull back and the blue glow washes over Cole as he hums and nuzzles in lapping at the energy and all it's tingles.

"Oh Primus Cole!" Shockwave arches giving him more access. More and more his body is arching into the touches and ministrations. "Nah, I won't last."

Cole lines his own chest up, but the plates won't pull back. Frustrated he tries manually but when it becomes a frantic scratching Shockwave grabs both those white hands and pulls them back from the chest, "Hey hey, shhhh."

The red one struggles and Shockwave is forced to flip them until Cole is pinned to the berth. It doesn't stop his slow curling moves. Shockwave knows all too well how aggravating it is to want a bond, but be denied by your mate or even your own body. The angst is enough to drive you insane! It's been too soon though. He's never reconnected this many times in such a short period of time. It has him a bit worried for both of them: all the surgery that was done to him and the fact this is all new to Cole.

Cole whines out cutting through those thoughts, "I must complete the mission."

Now it's Shockwave that lets off a whimper. They both see the blue spark hitch understanding the meaning to that phrase before Shockwave flattens himself over Cole in an all consuming kiss. Even still, the plates on the noble will not retract. To keep the smaller one from going completely insane, Shockwave takes Cole this time physically yet leaving his own spark chamber wide open. Pulsing out his adoration as he is stroked internally, Shockwave hopes this will quell and satisfy the other, for it is certainly pushing him towards another overload.

The tingling tide rises to a full crest and then bursts over bathing them in wash of adoration and pure pleasure. Shockwave's overload ignites Cole's.

Shockwave collapses to the side, closing up his chest and panting hard. Cole curls into his warm frame and says nothing. It was humiliating to him to not be able to perform the bonding act again. Shockwave massages his hand into Cole's nape keeping him to his side. He says nothing when a silent tear touches his chest and slides down.

"Shockwave, I'm sorry."

"Cole, shh. We are both scientists here, there's lots of reasons why. It's alright. We shouldn't push ourselves so hard. Rest, we have each other now."

His dream still has him a bit shaken up and not sure what to tell Shockwave. There's no need to though, his bondmate senses enough and just pulls the covers around them and snuggles them close.

"I'm so tired… I shouldn't be though," he yawns wide.

"Hush, Cole, just sleep, I have this watch."

A sleepy quirk of the neutral's lip answers the former commander's tease before he slides back to sleep again, this time more peacefully hoping he ca fulfill his promise.

For Shockwave, he fails and follows right behind Cole into his own sweet sleep of hope for Cole.


	19. Chapter 19

**S & C Epilogue**

If someone asks, I'll tell you how I chose the name Florence. There's two reasons. If you have a guess, I would love to hear it.

**{several vorn have passed}**

"Come come Steffen, you are tiring your poor Mother out." Olga holds the towel open wide so the little wet sparkling can be wrapped up. Cole lifts the squiggling mechlings out of the water and hands him over to her care.

With the warm towel and safe arms snuggling him close, the little one yawns. "I don't need a nap."

Cole gives off his own, although trying to hide it a bit better than his son. Olga gives Cole a scowl and lifts her bundle. "I will return with lunch as soon as he is down."

The exhausted mech gives a soft sigh though, "Olga, we can handle it. You don't-"

She titches at him as if he was still a youngling too. Wisely he just closes his mouth on the statement. Well that is until another yawn breaks out. This one he can't hide. "You need to rest too, Cole."

"Yes Ma'am," for that he is glowered at as she takes her little blue charge away.

Cole drags himself out of the pool and pulls the large towel over himself like a blanket as he collapses on the lounge beside his mate and dozing daughter. "How is she? Can I have her?" and tries to reach for the bundle smaller than the one Olga carried away.

Topless Shockwave curls the bundle away from his wet mate. A protective hand has her pressed to his calm beating spark. Its hard to see much of her under the blanket and large hands, but Cole can see she is sound asleep with her single optic closed and her mouth slightly slacked and a bit of drool coming out.

Softly Shockwave admonishes his mate, "Oh no you don't. Not after all it took for me to finally get her calmed down, you must be nuts to think I will just hand her over and risk starting up her fussing again.

When there is no returned banter, he turns his concerned helm. He really didn't need to worry. Cole is nearly asleep himself. Shockwave drops one hand from his daughter to pull his mate closer. Cole snuggles into his side and drapes a loose arm over the violet waist.

"Is everything alright, Cole? You stayed rather late at the hospital this morning." Currently Cole is on the night rotations and Shockwave hadn't thought much about Cole's exhaustion until Olga said something and now seeing him, yes something is up.

"That would be your fault," Cole yawns again.

"My fault?" Shockwave strokes down the nape.

Cole yawns again and nuzzles in closer. "You virile beast. Looks like Florence will be a middle child soon enough. I needed to put in for schedule adjustment again."

Shockwave's antenna fall flat, "Oh Cole, I'm so sorry." He means the exhaustion and what it does to his work schedule, not the actual budding new life within his chest. In the medical profession dealing with long shifts and infectious diseases, pregnant medics need to be extra careful. Thus he needs to let it be known he can not work the ER with unknown illnesses in coming and his own ICU shift will need to be cut in half so he can get enough rest.

"Mm, no you're not," Cole teases back. Now it's Shockwave's turn to scowl at him. With another last yawn, the red mate smiles, "Nor am I."

Shockwave presses a kiss to his mate and their daughter snuffles. "Shhh, it's alright Florence, Daddy has you."

Cole smiles loving the way Shockwave has adopted that term rather than the formal 'father'. The little one pulls her thumb up to her mouth and begins to suck. Cole puckers, "Hum, that bothers me."

Shockwave strokes down her little cheek and croons ever so softly, "It will be alright, Cole. Once she bites herself a couple times, she'll figure something else out."

Cole's hand joins stroking the little one, "I still don't understand where she got the fangs from. It doesn't run in my family."

Shockwave cants his helm, "But your mother said your sister is teething too."

"Teething yes, four fangs, no. You said there are no fangs in your family either?" Another yawn comes forth.

Shockwave blinks and shakes his helm, "Not that I can remember, but then again she could have gotten both our recessive genes."

Sleepily, Cole just hums in agreement to that scientific logic. Miracles do happen after all. For look at his own parents. Not long after announcing Cole and Shockwave's second pregnancy, Victrola was stunned to announce her own.

"I love you, Shockwave," is huskily whispered.

"I love you, Cole," comes back in an accented sweet whisper.

"Did you say something?" Shockwave looks down to his mate but he's sound asleep at his side.


End file.
